On the one hand, I have always felt that I am a sensitive and meticulous child, and I pay special attention to the details. The ability to observe words and expressions may have been exercised by paying attention to the expressions of my parents because I was worried about their parents quarreling when I was young. I am a bit of a slow person, or know it later. When everyone saw the "very quiet distance" Li Jing's exclusive interview with Sa Beining, Comrade Xiao Sa said this when he talked about why he invested in "we have a set": "I also want to know what else I have. Things I don't understand, I don't know." I don't know if everyone is like this. As you grow up, you will find that you understand more and more about yourself, and you will find that you have problems with what you are facing. What kind of reaction, you don't need to think about whether you like someone or not, your body behavior will tell you if you do. Sometimes you're surprised that your body can do this type of action without thinking about it.
Some time ago, the company organized a trip, and I was very quiet along the way, and my behavior was compliant, which was very inconsistent with my usual personality and reaction. After returning, I couldn't help asking myself what happened? Could it be that because you haven't cultivated well, you still don't have confidence in yourself? Still can't let go of fat? Later on, it dawned on me. . Before I went out to play, I hardly thought about how this was a workplace event, how I should behave. But even if I didn't think, my body made the most correct response, my uncharacteristically quiet and submissive, uncharacteristic response was ultimately to protect myself by keeping a low profile. For me as a newcomer, being too public and getting too many people's attention is not a good thing after all. I found this to be one of my great strengths. I am very good at summarizing myself and discovering my unknown self.
Writing here, it seems a little off topic, returning to the movie. The film "The Other Woman" was originally titled "Love and Other Impossible Appeals", based on Ayelai Waldman's novel of the same name. Portman's heroine, Emilia, is a Harvard law graduate who comes to work at the firm of Jack, a New York ace lawyer played by Scott Cohen. Emily quickly fell in love with the married boss, got pregnant and finally divorced Jack and started a new family with her daughter Isabel. Unfortunately, Isabel died suddenly after only three days of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS, also known as cot death, crib death). Emily's life is thrown into chaos after losing her baby daughter. The overwhelming grief of losing Isabel, the notoriety of being a home wrecker as a second wife, the resentment and attacks of Jack's ex-wife Caroline (Lisa Kudrow), and the love affair with stepson William (Charlie Tahan). Difficult to get along with, breastfeeding and suffocating her daughter... All of this made her indulge in the sad memories of the lost child, unable to get out of the condemnation of herself, and lost in the swamp of pain. . So she rejects, rejects, and hurts everyone who cares about her, denying everything in the past. Her parents, her husband, her friends,,,,, the
reason why I mention self-exploration and self-examination is because I have been hurt and hurt like this, more than once. When I failed in the college entrance examination, I avoided my most suitable choice, insisted on not applying for any colleges and universities in Shandong Province, and angrily scolded my father who was trying to care and persuade him for the damage to my childhood, and even said that being a child is the most unfilial, The most heart-wrenching sentence "I don't want to stay in Shandong is because of you in Shandong!" I lost someone I liked for a while in college, so I rejected all gestures of kindness, and cast ridicule and contempt for all well-meaning suggestions , I remember crying shyly on the balcony of the bedroom, and then I ran out to hug her and lost my voice in pain, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I've hurt almost everyone close to me recently. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Later Later, I discovered that I was someone who would close all the doors of my heart for self-protection. I could cut off all contact immediately because I didn’t want to make my friends feel left out. I could always avoid and choose to ignore it because I didn’t know how to deal with it…
But when you grow up and understand yourself gradually, you will want to be a better version of yourself. Although it is difficult, you will try to comfort yourself, try to improve yourself, try to make yourself warmer, stronger, and more Perfect...
I've always felt that pain makes people grow. If you don't know how to cherish, then only losing can let you know the value of cherishing; if you don't know how to love, then being loved and hurt can teach you to love and be loved; if you don't know yourself, then only you can feel Pain and helplessness can help you understand what your truest self is. . I often wonder why I don’t have love. Of course, it’s because I’ve always resisted being approached by others, I’ve always been afraid of getting hurt, I’ve always despised boys for being naive, and perhaps more fundamentally, it’s because I haven’t experienced being loved at all, I haven’t understood how to love, Because I don't know how to love at all, so God will let me experience setbacks and helplessness on the road of love. Perhaps only in this way can I learn to express and learn to love. It's just that the next time I close my heart and start self-protection again, what I hope is not only the understanding of my relatives and friends, but also that there is someone who will stand by my side, never give up, give me strength and the courage to open my heart... ...I believe that good things are always worth waiting O(∩_∩)O~
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