Abi: Mom
Gordie: Grandpa
Lottie: Big sister
Mickey: Big brother
Jess: Little sister
Doreen: Granny on the farm
Doug: Wait a minute, this. . . What's this?
Jess: That's Norman.
Doug: It is. . . Half a piece of coke. Why are you even carrying this?
Jess: I can't sleep without the Normanlons.
Doug: Are you going to sleep with this next to the bed?
Jess: Not really. How stupid. He usually stays under my bed to make sure the bad guys don't get in.
Doug: So there are bad stones and good stones?
Jess: Yes. Just like in real life.
Abi: I have a better idea. Why don't we ask Eric if he knows how to fasten his seat belt?
Jess: This is Norman's mom.
Abi: Oh, I mean Norman. Why don't we ask how to wear a seat belt when it's full?
Jess: He's just a coke. And he doesn't have arms, how could he fasten the Lun's seat belt?
Abi: It makes sense. I'm speechless. It's better for me to tie it.
Gordie: Have you ever heard of cancer? Actually, I got that disease.
Lottie: But you'll be fine.
Gordie: Well, not really. They can't heal me. And the treatments they gave me have been a heavy burden on my heart. But now, right now, I feel great. (Lottie begins to record grandpa's lies in the Lie Book) What is this?
Lottie: It's my notebook.
Gordie: You know, Lottie. A lot of things in life don't look great on paper.
. . . . . .
Gordie: Maybe your parents just lied to protect you.
Lottie: Did you tell a lie?
Gordie: Well, I lied a lot. Many, many lies. I always answer the cops who ask me "how fast are you going" and I say "30 miles per hour", but I'm obviously going much faster than that. But I don't care. Hahaha. Sometimes it's okay to lie if your intentions are good.
Lottie: If you don't like the food in someone's house, you say "great", though. . .
Gordie: That's what you're supposed to do, you can't say, "Oh my God, I'm going to throw up here".
Lottie: Haha, you mean, it's okay to lie to some people sometimes?
Gordie: Yeah, and that was fun. Like, (picks up the album) We might be able to find him here. George Judd. Here he is. This is him. When we told him he had leeches on his balls, he was horrified and passed out.
Mickey: She thought I was in the garden, but I was peeing softly in the bathroom. I aimed at the toilet wall instead of the water. But I think I'm still a little off.
Jess: (applies the smooth ostrich egg to his face) So this one came out of an ostrich's ass?
Doreen: So they have such a bad temper.
Mickey: Can you put an ostrich egg back in its ass?
Doreen: No, I don't think so. Because you have to hold the ostrich. But no one wants to do this.
Mickey: I think you can. when it lays eggs. You can push it in. (hands on buttocks and pushes hard)
Doreen: If you touch it and it's laying eggs, do you think you can push it back?
Mickey: Yes.
Doreen: I'll contact you next time as long as the egg is laid.
Mickey: A little push is like playing volleyball. (playing volleyball)
Doreen: All right. . .
Mickey: Do you take care of the ostriches yourself?
Doreen: No. Morag will help me.
Jess: Who is Morag?
Doreen: She's my girlfriend.
Gordie: Oh, I'm a goddamn grandpa.
Doreen: What's wrong?
Gordie: You can just say "friend".
Jess: Girlfriend? Boys only have female friends.
Gordie: Look, now we have to explain the whole thing.
Doreen: Alright, let me explain. Do you know Lesbian?
Mickey: Is that someone from Lesbia?
Doreen: That's right, Mickey. I am from Lala Magic Kingdom.
Gordie: You'll confuse them even more.
Mickey: Does it feel good to be a lace edging?
Gordie: What are you asking me for?
Mickey: I think it should be fine. Otherwise they wouldn't do it, would they?
Gordie: Hehe. . .
Mickey: How do people know what they are?
Gordie: Well, that's how they found out. We all discover what we are. Then the world has to accept it.
Mickey: Can a lace edge have a baby?
Gordie: Uh. . . This, uh. . . Why don't you go over there and see some wood for the fire?
(on the beach)
Mickey: Can I bury you, Grandpa?
Gordie: Oh, come on, sand will get all over the place. I don't want to be buried at all,
thanks .
Jess: Don't you want to die even if you die?
Lottie: Jess! !
Jess: What's the matter? It happens when someone dies. When they are buried, everyone can eat cake. That's it, isn't it, Grandpa?
Gordie: That's right, my dear. I've never understood the meaning of a funeral. Everyone is standing in the church listening to the pastor telling lies about how great a person you are. do not do that. Put me in the recyclable bin, purple, no? For plastic waste and dead grandpas. Hey hey, please, just a joke. No. If I had to choose a funeral, give me an old Viking funeral, like my ancestors, put me on a burning pass, let me float to sea, no stupid family disputes, no stupidity The quarrel over who got what or who did what, just a warrior's final goodbye.
Lottie: Mom and Dad lied so much that I don't trust them anymore. They pissed me off.
Gordie: Hmm. I used to feel this way about my life as well, until I suddenly realized that it doesn't make sense to be angry with someone I love because of what they did. I mean, what if your dad's life is a complete mess? What if your Uncle Gavin is a bit of a jerk? If he clings to the powerful like that, he just can't control it. His wife wasn't much better, and was frightened by her dark side all day. So is your mother, a little chatty. In fact, every single person on this planet is somehow absurd. So we shouldn't argue, and we shouldn't quarrel. Because in the end, (sighs) In the end, none of it matters, all these things.
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