July 10, 2014 In the
American drama "Looking" (Looking) S01E03, the male protagonist Patrick meets a British man who is better than himself in every way at the company's party to celebrate the release of a new game. Kevin, or rather, the future version of him he wants to be... if Patrick can work on himself and become his dream self in a few years.
Patrick fell in love at first sight with this man who was "his ideal type" in the standard way of Korean dramas, so he took advantage of the wine to strike up a conversation, only to find out with great embarrassment that Kevin was not only about to become his new boss, but also early I have a boyfriend who has been with me for many years. This was indeed a big blow to Patrick, who was chasing personal feelings and life and thus somewhat neglected his work. After that, he began to reflect on himself, so he adjusted his expectations and only wanted to join Kevin's game development team. He works under him. Obviously, after meeting Kevin, he expects him to go further in his career and make breakthroughs, not just a game level designer with little creative freedom. .
If Kevin can be regarded as the future version of Patrick who wants to be, then, on the other hand, we can of course also assume that, to a certain extent, Patrick is the young and unfinished version of Kevin, so now he is mature and stable in his career. He is successful and can easily control the overall situation. It is easy to see where Patrick is in his life, what kind of person he is, and what kind of person he is through his work contacts, occasional small talk, meeting his friends and his family. troubles and dreams. Perhaps his affection for Patrick is based on both mutual attraction and their similarity (in the words of Patrick's mother, he looks good, just like you), so at work he has both Such as the boss is also like a mentor, and, finally, it was inevitable to play an office ambiguity with the latter.
But obviously, no matter how much they attract each other, there will be no good results in this way, so, under the cruel awakening of his friend Augustin, Patrick pulled back in time and gave up the hurtful office ambiguity between them. Decided to be with Richie, a kind and thoughtful Mexican-American hairdresser. However, after all, such a choice seems to be evasive, and it is too hasty. Neither Patrick nor Richie is actually ready. Therefore, at the end of the first season, Patrick, who is in a confused period of life, can neither completely get rid of himself and himself. The ideal type of Kevin's fruitless ambiguity is even deeper, and it is difficult for him to establish a truly stable and sustainable relationship with Richie, who is out of true love or curious.
In S01E07, at his sister's wedding banquet, Patrick, who has not yet been completely weaned, complained to his mother unabashedly, because she has always influenced his values in choosing a mate, so every time he will subconsciously press Looking for a date according to his mother's standards, and this has made him still unable to reap a fruitful relationship to this day. The mother, who always knew her son very well and was well versed in the world, immediately pointed out that it was actually his own problem... If he didn't know what he wanted, how could he get what he wanted.
Indeed, even if Kevin didn't want to pass up the chance to have an office affair with him because he knew at the time of the meeting that he had a crush on him (there's nothing to lose to him anyway), what about Patrick himself? Because he still has requirements and dreams for himself, it is normal for him to have a favorable impression of Kevin, who is better than himself, but Augustin, who knows him very well, is right. He has always compromised on this matter, and even lost his principles. So because he likes each other, he fantasizes the office ambiguity between them into a real love... Obviously, if he really wants to start a stable and long-term relationship with Kevin, it shouldn't start like this.
As for his relationship with Richie, Augustin said that Patrick was looking for a novelty and found a relationship with a good person who was very different from him in terms of birth, class, family, education, work, etc. It was not so much that he thought it was novel and cool, but rather A rebellion against parents. Of course, I don't think it's a bad thing if they can still have a healthy and happy relationship despite the class differences and the stereotyped divide. But the question is, what if Patrick, who is essentially bewildered, is hunting? In the end, isn't it hurting others and hurting yourself?
There have been countless articles and posts discussing what kind of life partner we should choose, because it is not that there are no standards for learning, so I personally tend to look at this issue from the perspective of personal growth: we choose this person, can he (or she) make us a better version of ourselves? After all, we exist as individuals in the first place, and if life together afterward means self-stasis or even self-destruction, would that be what we want? It is in this sense that I think Patrick's encounter with Kevin is a good thing and worthwhile, no matter how they end up. At least, the appearance of Kevin always made Patrick see the possibility and necessity of him becoming a better version of himself.
Of course, I didn't say that there is anything wrong with living like Richie, so friendly, peaceful, kind, and indifferent to the world, it is the rarest warm background in this world. If Patrick is also someone who has no ambitions and dreams, they may be a good fit, and he can spend his life like that day on S01E05. Of course, I'm still happy to see that Patrick is an edgy and self-motivated person, after all, it would be horrible if there were only ambitious bad guys in the world trying to get ahead and work hard...what would it be like.
As for the hurts and hardships we may have to suffer when we meet those who make us better and closer to our dream self, as to whether we and them will still be separated from each other as we did when we got together. Back to the original place, if you think that everything has a price, if you think that in the future we can still get up from such pain and fall and move on, walking more steadily, better and more calmly, there is nothing to complain about .
In a word, no matter what you want and what you are looking for, one's self-growth, and eventually becoming the one you dream of, is obviously the goal we are still pursuing through the ups and downs along the way. The words in the article are: A person is not worth living until he completes himself, that is, to give full play to his talents and fulfill his wishes. Use all your talents to perfection, and then you can get all the joy, beauty, affection, and interest that you can possibly get out of life... So, I personally feel that for Patrick at this stage, it might as well That's it, try to be a better version of yourself, the rest, God will arrange it.
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