You were hidden in my heart as its desire, darling

Thurman 2022-03-26 08:01:01

In Tagore's Crescent Moon, a poem called the Beginning reads:
"Where did I come from, and where did you pick me up?" the child asked his mother.
Half crying and half laughing, she hugged the child tightly to her chest and said,
"You were my wish in my heart, my baby."

you lived in all my hope and love.


When I was twelve years old, I fell in love with a boy, and then had a paranoid wish-to conceive his child, and it must be a son. No matter if the person you like dies, leaves, or has never been with you at all, you must give birth to his son, raise him on an uninhabited desert island, participate in every moment of his growth, absolutely and absolutely take full possession of his life.

A woman's love always has some traces of self-sacrifice inevitably. Although Rebecca in the movie is not like Matilda in Leon crying "I want love or death" in tears, nor is it like Sophie in Two Little Guess who hysterically dedicates her life to the game. But even though she has been restrained and quiet since childhood, the leftover pear, the joy in her eyes when she gets the phone call, and Tommy's absent-mindedness when she doesn't show up as scheduled, has revealed her tender but enduring love. When they met again, under his fiery gaze, her downcast eyes did not give the slightest discount to her years of obsession. For an introverted woman like Rebecca, the phrase "the same as you" "I ll come with you" "wherever you go I go" said in a tone that cannot be rejected is the most unbreakable vow, even if it costs a person's loneliness The rest of your life should also be performed silently.

Twenty years back in time, Eason sang "It's a pity that I couldn't hug you in person at that age... Who let me go back in time and share it with you in person". I think every person in love is eager to experience all the moments of his lover's life, and wants to be the biggest sharer of his joys, sorrows and sorrows, so he can't help secretly jealous of his ex, his friends when he was young, and even his parents. I think when Rebecca looked at Tommy's photos over and over again, she must have regretted that she didn't stay by his side for a little more time in the past of his short life. The future we could have lived together was shattered by a sudden truck without warning. So to copy his original intention, in addition to continuing and reproducing his life, one should also add one - to give himself a chance to participate in his life completely from the beginning.

Inside the snail box, the boy hid a note saying "I will wait for you for as long as you take". He did wait for her twelve years until she returned to her grandfather's house again, but she waited longer and made it possible to see him again. Waiting became the heaviest thing she could bear in her life. Between him and her, what hasn't happened yet, what may or may not happen, has become the most important thing in his life. She is willing to spend her life on vague and ardent hope, hoping that he can exist in her world again, no matter what form or identity.

When the boy was re-animated by the heroine and finally grew into the person she longed to see again, he entered her body with the same eyes as he was originally, and at that moment, the tears she had suppressed for many years were finally slow and silent. The ground flows down, I think this moment is like the phrase "now we are one, in ever lasting peace" in the exit music, such a fusion makes the dead Tommy, the reborn Tommy and the always standing Rebecca one . Reassured, angry, impulsive, fearful, relieved, embarrassed. . . All love-related emotions are also intertwined and condensed at this moment, waiting for a new redemption.

Whether this choice brought her a blessing or a curse, I have no way to judge. But I know that it is the same as the essence of love, there is no value or not, and it does not allow outsiders to judge. Just like all lovers will feel helpless and fearless in front of their loved ones, helpless because they always have to go back and forth on the ground like a pet dog, never far away; fearless because when you feel the need, you will take out your pocket Knife kills a dragon. At the same time, our love is always selfish and selfless. Selfishness is because we try to possess and control everything related to our lover like a madman, and stubbornly and arrogantly do not allow anyone else to share; selflessness is because we always cherish giving everything The determination of passion and faith, bearing the futility of waiting alone, enduring the tender stinging pain of thousands of turns in patience, and even sacrificing one's own body to carry the life of a lover. Like every woman in love, Rebecca does just what every woman in love does.

Although the appearance of ancient creatures in the film, the discussion of the never-repeating leaf feathers, etc., is directed at cloning, I still cannot regard this film as science fiction or ethics. After more than an hour of calm and bitterness, and in the lingering pictures in my mind after that, all I saw was love, a entangled but firm love of a woman who was forbearing.

You were my wish in my heart, my baby. You lived in all my hope and love, my love.

Also attached is a little poem that Tommy recited in the bathtub:

A Man of Words and Not Deeds

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow
It's like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall
It's like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It's like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It's like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It's like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It's like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.




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Extended Reading

Womb quotes

  • Thomas - 10 years: I keep dying!

    Rebecca: Try again.

  • Thomas: What are you doing this weekend?

    Rebecca: Same as you.

    Thomas: I can't, I have to go away.

    Rebecca: I'll come with you.

    Thomas: I have to go alone. I'll only be 2 days.

    Rebecca: Where ever you go, I go.

    Thomas: This is somewhere you can't go.

    Rebecca: Then you shouldn't go either.