He still remembered the deep affection in his eyes when he liked Suha; he still remembered the momentary sadness in his eyes when he knew he had been chosen; he still remembered the last reunion with his relatives, and in the evening, he leaned against the dark corner of the door and greedily watched his mother Cooking in the bright sunset, then enjoying the irritability and intimate rowdy of the family; remembering his last look at the beloved girl at four o'clock at night, drinking a cup of tea, and adding three sugars; remembering that Khaled raised his gun and swore to say When he was willing to follow Allah to his death, his Adam’s apple surged when he swallowed; he still remembered that when he was about to get on the first bus to explode, he suddenly saw the stupid and childish figure of a little girl, his face was forbearance and firmness; I remember him telling Suha about the heavy burden of his father's execution as a traitor, and his eyes were full of pain; I still remember the light kiss he gave Suha when he was parting, and he paused. He opened the car door vigorously and left; I still remember him in a taxi in Israel, the rich and attractive life scenes passed by the window, the new samsung mobile phone was launched, passers-by were leisurely with their briefcases after work, riding Obasan on the bicycle turned to look at him. People were walking and drinking on the beach in casual clothes. Children were laughing with lifebuoys. ! not at all.
He, Said, had the choice to live, but not unwillingly, just couldn't. What's the point of a terrorist bombing? Can the unfortunate status quo of the Palestinians be changed? Can it destroy Israel's dominance? Can it make the world a happier place? Can you make your mother happy? Can you fall in love with her? Can I get myself into heaven and be free from it? Can't, can't, and he knows, he knows, he knows, and he will go to this ridiculous death resolutely. It's not that he doesn't want to, he just can't. History has set the tone of his life, he can't resist, life arranged the background of his life, he can't do anything, life guides the rhythm of his steps, he can't do anything, the steps determine the result of his choice, he can't refuse.
Life always presents endless possibilities, as if if we could decide what time we eat and when we go to bed each day, we can decide everything too. This is really an illusion. God gave us a body, a magical machine equipped with biological clockwork. If you are hungry for a long time and sleepy, it will call the police and make people lose their will to replenish and rest. All things are connected at all times and everywhere, and connection is also a prison, so that you can't make any choice, except for nothingness, except for death, and the true and only freedom of the human will, after being at the mercy of fate, Said said. retain this dignity.
We stand under the peach tree, the beautiful peaches are everywhere, as if we can be happy just by reaching out our hands, so how much desire, how much passion, how much love, how much sincerity, it turned out to be just an illusory dream, a dream, a dream, I saw it Can you catch it? Can you own it if you catch it? Can you be happy if you have it? Can happiness last forever? Or do we actually have no choice at all, just being swept forward by the torrent of life? Life's tiny free choice is just that moment, like when a prisoner is convicted, he can nod himself, and the shackles are immediately put on his head, and if you refuse to nod, life will force you away, Any gesture is powerless and ridiculous. Do you want to resist? Resistance is nothing more than a new set of shackles, and the whole world will punish you for laughing at you, crushing the only self-esteem and firmness you have. There is no choice, only the inability to bear. In life, how many entanglements and how many are helpless? How many sighs do I need to dissolve that lingering resentment in an instant? How much melancholy to endure that wonderful feint shot of the peach?
Ridiculous, inexplicable, I am moaning the sorrow of being a human being!
Oh, it's not that you don't want to, it's just that you can't! I was sobbing and crying.
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