——In a crowd that is surging like a tide, sometimes I feel lonely; in a place like a duck to water, I am ready to leave at any time; when I should be happy, my heart is slightly filled with inexplicable sadness.
In fact, this is a very typical feeling, especially for people who have so little culture, have seen the world, have enough food and clothing, and start to pursue a little sentiment. The higher the level of education, the deeper the confusion of this kind: there are already so many in the hands, but there is still a vague desire for something, and when the desires are realized one by one, they are more and more tired and lost.
- What do they want to pursue? Which place is the place where they are finally willing to live?
In September, a couple set out on a dazed journey to the exotic Sahara desert—saying it dazed because they didn't know how long they were staying or what they were looking for, calling themselves travelers. Not tourists, because "tourists come and go, and travelers may never go back."
Are you pondering a feeling of wandering? Or do you really want to find a place to stay? As two successful middle-class people, maybe they are just looking for some excitement and adding some fun in addition to the wealthy life that they are already familiar with, so as to accumulate courage and return to the city to continue the mediocre and boring life.
The woman's name is Kit, the man's name is Potter, and they've been married for ten years, maintaining a marriage that's better than nothing. Both of them are people who value their inner feelings so much. Kit will take some very subtle things as ominous omen for no reason, and Potter, who is a sick person, never forgets to listen to music and taste red wine and watch it on the balcony. Typical petty bourgeoisie at sunset. In the days when the days are opposite, in fact, it is easy for people to feel bored, so we see that disputes and cold wars between two people occur from time to time, and occasionally they play the game of flirting and jealousy, and even betrayal. opponent's actions.
In fact, the fact is so obvious, they are so suitable for each other and love each other so deeply. It's just because I can't be sure that the other person is the person I want to stay with for the rest of my life, I just don't know if I can love each other for a lifetime, I just don't know where I want to go and how long I want to stay. These kinds of uncertainties and unstoppable doubts are the root causes of their irritability, troubles and struggles to find, right?
"We're afraid of different things," Kit said. You are not as afraid of loneliness as I am, I think you can still live well without me... Potter replied that maybe it is because we both dare not love each other too deeply...
Fortunately or unfortunately, such a deadlock , which was eventually broken by Porter's sudden typhoid fever. In a strange and desolate city, Potter fell unexpectedly. Lonely Kitt does everything possible, begging everyone to save Potter. In a humble room, Kit guarded the dying Potter day and night, guarding her lover like a most affectionate and loyal wife, and Potter struggled to say to her when he was awake at one point. I have always loved you deeply, but I don't know it myself... At that moment, the surroundings were so silent, time and space became blank. Apart from each other, they have no outside power to turn to or interfere with. Only in the process of resisting the god of death did the two realize what is most important in life, and they have been turning a blind eye to what is lost in vain. It was the purest moment of the heart, the most turbulent moment of love. All the gorgeous decorations on the surface of the soul were all shattered. There was no suspicion or hesitation, just hold each other tightly and go through life and death.
Under the protection of the sky, we can demand freely, run with peace of mind, and even indulge in depravity. Once we lose this kind of favor, our personal existence in nature is so small and humble, and it is impossible to grasp it. . After Potter died, in order to survive out of the desert, Kit had to commit herself to the leader of an Arab tribe. She closed her eyes expressionlessly and let him go up and down. When she turned her head away, she burst into tears. After losing her happiness, she realized that she had always loved Potter so deeply, thousands of miles away from her lover.
I think of myself, and of you, why do I always miss you when I am very fragile...
The desert was captured so beautifully by the camera, and her eyes were full of suffocating colors. She sat across the desert on a camel, like walking in a painting. But at the moment there is a shocking desolation in that beautiful scenery - Potter is dead, she is different from the language around her, even if there are thousands of customs, who else can she tell?
Is it not until the prosperity is over and the night comes, that we can clear the fog in front of us and see the most unforgettable true love in life? Is it not until all the sounds are silent and there is no sound, we can concentrate and listen to the voice calling from the depths of the soul? No one knows what they want, everyone is trying, asking, giving up, regretting.
At the end of the film, Kit finally returns to the city, rejecting the consulate's arrangement and leaving quietly before meeting her former lover. After going through this series of changes, she could no longer face this young man who had come along with them, and did not want to think about all the childish disputes she and Potter had had because of him; She lost the happiness that she just realized but could no longer grasp, and she no longer wanted to play the ambiguous love game.
She walked back to the hotel where she originally settled down. As prosperous as before, noisy as before, but this woman standing in front of the window has lost her original arrogance and conceit on her face, and is no longer delicate and sensitive like a narcissus. place. She became calm and stoic, with a touch of numbness. She walked through the purgatory in her life and experienced the nirvana of life and death. She finally knew what she wanted and where she was going, but outside the camera, I may still want to Confused, questioned, searched.
Because we don't know when life will end, when everything we have will be lost, what we want, or where to stop. Even before some encounters come, you may still not know how to cherish all the touching moments in your life, as well as the shaded sky above your head.
May 2003
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