In addition, this article has been cited as a preface by a book "The Secret of The Secret". I haven't got this book yet, but reading the outline of the content reveals a lot of the inside story of the so-called documentary "The Secret". If you are very interested in movies and books such as "The Secret", "The Law of Attraction", and "Meet Your Dreams Come True", this "Secret of Secrets" is believed to be worth reading.
If I only speak my personal opinion, I think the film "The Secret" is a spiritual MLM film.
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May your wishes come true!
During the festivals, I often send such a blessing to others. But now, this very common blessing has been transformed into a "great secret" that "has appeared sporadically in the mouths of some ancient legends, classics and philosophers".
This is the promotional slogan for the latest hit film, The Secret. This film calls itself a "documentary", but in my opinion, it doesn't record any facts, but in a super pyramid scheme style, with one "philosopher" and "successful person" over and over again to promote "attraction". law".
The Law of Attraction is the film's new interpretation of what you want to achieve, "your thoughts are waves of energy with a certain frequency, and it causes waves of energy with a near frequency to resonate." So, if you have a bad thoughts, you will attract people with similar thoughts, and energy waves in the universe with the same frequency, and you will end up with a bad result. Conversely, if you have a good idea, you can end up with a good outcome.
It's a really exciting idea, and I occasionally get a bloodbath while watching the movie, but when I see a badly bald man in the movie saying "we can get anywhere, we can do anything, everything can be achieved" , I couldn't help laughing out loud, and I wanted to ask him, "Dude, can you make your bald head full of hair?"
Don't misunderstand that I am discriminating against bald men. Actually, my forehead hair tends to decrease too, so I'm just concerned about that.
Be wary of unconscious desires
come true However, having said that, I quite agree with the phrase "Imaginations come true". The first time I deeply felt this simple truth was one day three years ago.
It was nearly evening, and I was walking alone on Binjiang East Road in Guangzhou. It was a rewarding day, several important things in work and life were going well, I was in a good mood, and everything around looked so pleasant. But suddenly, I saw a sand-carrying ship slowly slipping along the Pearl River, dragging a long oil smear at the tail of the ship, colorful and dazzling in the setting sun.
Watching this scene, I felt sad, and a sentence popped out of my mind: This is really a hopeless world!
When this sentence popped out, I was taken aback, even though I am an environmentalist, the pollution of just a boat that is not directly related to me can instantly destroy the consequences of several important things that are closely related to me. joy, and led me to such a pessimistic conclusion, what's wrong with me? !
After a moment of quiet contemplation, I caught my fleeting feeling when this automatic thought occurred - I was so smug!
At that moment, I seemed to be worried, but in fact I was very proud, and this sense of pride seemed to say: Look, how smart I am, Wu Zhihong, I have long expected that the world is hopeless, look, this is A sand ship does not prove my ability to foresee! Who has eyes like mine!
This psychological mechanism of mine is called "self-fulfilling prophecy" in psychological terms. Meaning, if I make a prophecy about something, then I try to fulfill that prophecy on that thing.
I have known the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy for a long time, but the first deep understanding of its true meaning has to be through this personal experience. After this experience, look at the world around you and find that similar stories abound.
A woman who looks gentle and virtuous, but also very capable, is a civil servant with little status, but she often goes to work with a bruised face. It turned out that her husband was very violent and often beat her. She couldn't stand it and got divorced, but so did her second husband. When she was about 40 years old, she divorced again.
At this time, she was desperate for men and wanted to stay single, because "no man is a good thing". However, there was a man who had liked her for many years, and then continued to pursue her, and this man was said to have no history of violence, let alone beating women, and he never even quarreled with women.
She loves herself and is a good man, so what else is there to choose from, she was moved and married him. But just two weeks into her marriage, she called a few of her friends and cried that she had been beaten again.
Friends came over and naturally scolded the man: you don't know how unfortunate she is, and you say you love her, so why do you treat the woman you love the most... But one of the friends who came this time is a psychiatrist, she Instead of joining the ranks of condemning the men, ask, what the hell happened to you guys, please tell me the details.
Details determine success or failure, details are the devil, and as soon as the devil-like details come out, all the people who come here are silent.
It turned out that the two quarreled first, arguing, and the woman said to the man: Do you want to hit me, like ××× (her father’s name) hit my mother?
The man replied: How is it possible, I never hit women, how can I quarrel with you today, I wonder.
The woman didn't believe it and said: You just want to hit me, you hit and hit, you won't be a man if you don't hit me!
She kept repeating this sentence hysterically. At a certain moment, the man's mind suddenly went blank, and he punched him...
At the moment before the man punched, what happened?
brainwashing! The man's mind went blank because the logic of the good man he had always held was erased and he accepted the logic of the bad man that the woman had imposed on him in a hysterical way.
Why do women do this? Because it comes true! She predicted that "men are not good things", this seemingly pessimistic sentence is the basis of her proud existence, the cornerstone of her sense of control over the world, and her narcissism - this is the most important need of all living beings She needs to keep proving it, and when she encounters a "good thing", the edifice of intimacy she's built from it will collapse, it will make her uncomfortable, it will make her panic, so she will Try to turn this "good thing" into a bad man, so as to prove that she really has control over the world.
Positive thoughts are often deliberately antagonistic
. This woman's story, and mine, is a negative interpretation of "what you want to do." Many people yearn for happiness and joy, but this is only at the superficial level of consciousness, while what is pursued in the deep subconscious is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a sense of control over the world and one’s own life. If this knot cannot be resolved, then no matter how hard you try to pursue happiness and happiness on the conscious level, it may be of no use.
Former U.S. President Bill Clinton had countless lovers. A gossip website found pictures of dozens of women in a boring way. When I was doing international news, I also made up a version of these pictures in a boring way. Clinton's lovers can be clearly divided into two categories in terms of faces and expressions: strong women who look like Hillary and silly girls who look like White House intern Lewinsky.
In this regard, I think that Clinton is pursuing the beautiful emotions he longs for. He first chose a "Hillary", thinking that this is his "right lady", but after a long time, he was tired, so he wanted to find a new one. "Miss Correct". Since "Hillary" is not the answer, "Silly Girl" who is the exact opposite of Hillary should be the answer. But after spending a long time with the "silly girl", he got bored again, so he found a strong woman who was the exact opposite of the "silly girl"...
For this phenomenon, I jokingly called it "Clinton's pendulum". Those who are desperate for the ideal lover, Mr. Right or Miss Right, can easily get caught up in the soap opera cycle of "Clinton's Pendulum."
To solve this trap of reincarnation, the key is not to "do what you want". "The Secret" said that if you are dissatisfied with A, then you can ignore A and focus on B. If you focus your energy on B for many years, you can achieve B, and if you don't fight with A, You are pouring energy into A, and in the end you are controlled by A.
This sounds plausible, good. But the problem is that the so-called B is often -A, the opposite of A, and we are still fighting with A at this time.
This is precisely the very core of our personality (i.e. self) building. German psychologist Adler said that inferiority complex will lead to the power of transcendence. My own observations have found that, for the vast majority of people, pain always leads to an escape from pain. That said, motivation in the personality is almost always opposed to pain.
Books such as the movie "The Secret", the books of the same name "The Secret" and "The Law of Attraction", as well as the training derived from these concepts, all emphasize that instead of focusing on a negative A, you can produce a positive B, and then focus on This B is fine. However, in a deep sense, any thoughts that are actively generated by the ego are not created out of nothing. These thoughts are bound to build up all the experiences of the ego. Moreover, positive and negative often complement each other, and a positive thought is often a confrontation with a negative experience.
For example, the pursuit of happiness is often a confrontation with sadness, the pursuit of laughter is often the suppression of crying, the pursuit of sex appeal is often the fear of indifference, the pursuit of excellence is an escape from inferiority... However, these pursuits have caused inner divisions , A person who always looks super happy, often hides sadness in his heart, and even the happiness at the conscious level and the sadness deep in the subconscious are equal. This is like a scale. Happiness on one end of the scale is too heavy, and sadness on the other end must match it, so that there is a balance.
So, how to defuse the impact of life tragedies on us, how to free ourselves from bad wishes come true?
Admit and accept the truth!
I often write in my articles that truth is always No.1. The truth of life's tragedies can make us miserable and painful, so it is easy to deny the truth of the tragedy to alleviate the pain, and the most common form of denial is to try to create "reversal."
For example, my father is not good, it is very painful, so I want to change my father, but this desire does not come true, so I want to change the same man as my father. As a result, people who had a violent father in childhood are prone to fall in love with violent men at first sight when they grow up. There are many reasons for this result, and a very important reason is the obsession with "inversion", which is that we have to complete a dream of transformation. The woman mentioned above had four compulsive repetitions of "husband beating his wife" in her life. The first time was when her father beat her mother, and then three times when her three husbands beat her. The last husband was a good man. But she's going to make him the bad guy first, and then she's going to play the makeover game.
The most effective way to end this negative wish-fulfillment game is not to play the positive wish-fulfillment game, but to accept the truth, which is to admit that you have a bad father, and accept that this is a fact that cannot be changed .
When complete acceptance occurs, a new thought will automatically appear in our hearts, but this thought is not something we voluntarily come up with, but naturally arises at the moment when we fully accept the truth. This kind of thought has incredible power. The power of , will free us from the entanglement of pain in an instant.
For example, if this woman completely accepts that she has a bad father, she will lose interest in changing men completely, so the attraction of bad men to her does not exist, and she can divert her energy from the entanglement of this misfortune. Get out. Since then, she has only been able to play the game of positive wish-fulfillment. However, it must be emphasized that the most positive "thinking" is not something she thought of actively, but emerges naturally.
German psychologist Eckhart Tolly, at the age of 29, was so desperate that he felt the pain of death and had suicidal thoughts. However, just when he was in complete despair, a miracle happened, and he was instantly relieved.
I have discussed this miraculous event of Eckhart Tory with some high-ranking people, and they all agreed that if he still has any idea of his own initiative at this time, liberation will not happen, only complete and complete acceptance can reach this state.
The story of Z I mentioned in many articles such as "One of the Seven Weapons of the Mind: The Purest Sadness Helps You Say Goodbye to the Tragic Past" is similar to the miracle of Eckhart Tory, who was in elementary school When the fourth grader wanted to commit suicide, she was automatically relieved from utter grief.
Being obsessed with "thinking" will lead to "blindness".
In psychotherapy, the terms that are close to positive thoughts are "positive intention" and the other is "positive imagination". But neither of these two methods ignores the negative A and develops the positive B. On the contrary, they both focus on communicating with the true self behind the negative A, and ultimately promote inner harmony.
And, can we induce other beings to resonate with ourselves by "thinking"? The power of the universe is too mysterious, let's not talk about this, let's talk about our resonance with others.
Take the example of Xu Zhimo, the next-generation lover. He thinks Lin Huiyin is the answer to his happy life, and he is extremely obsessed with her. It's a pity that what you wanted did not happen, because Lin Huiyin felt that in front of Xu Zhimo, only his "thinking" existed, and she didn't exist, but everyone longed for her own existence, so she rejected Xu Zhimo.
Taiwanese writer Zhang Defen wrote in her spiritual novel "Meet the Unknown Self": Dear, there is no one else outside, only yourself. The meaning of this sentence is also to achieve what you want, that is, the world you see and the world around you are guided by your heart to complete it.
There is some truth to this view, because we do shape the world around us according to our hearts. However, it seems to me that unless we can feel the real presence of others, our thirst for happiness is always in vain. Because, happiness means harmony in relationship with another person or thing, and when we are too attached to our own thoughts, do others still exist?
In fact, positive thinking is not the highest state. A better state, in my words, is simplicity, in the words of the Indian philosopher Krishnamurti is emptiness and meditation, and in the words of the Ming Dynasty philosopher Wang Yangming, "this mind does not move, but moves randomly".
What does that mean? That is, there is the truth in this world, if my heart is in a state of emptiness, my heart is pure, and the truth of others and even all things will be noticed by me at the first time, and then I can make a choice. , if you perceive the good, you can naturally be attracted, and if you perceive the evil, you can naturally stay away.
Moreover, "not moving the mind" is very important, because once the mind is moved, what you see is your desire, not the true nature of other existences.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a positive mind, some might say? My take on this is that clinging to positive thoughts creates a barrier that prevents you from meeting the world as it is. For example, you always think positively that the water is really sweet, which makes you always taste the sweetness when you drink it. This seems fine. But when a glass of stinky water is placed in front of you, you will not be aware of the existence of stinky water because you are attached to the positive thoughts of "sweet water".
The claim to the movie "The Secret" says the law of attraction is the secret to the success of countless celebrities, including Newton and Einstein. However, at least in their laws of physics that shocked the world, Newton and Einstein did not have ideas first and then prove their ideas, but the results that naturally appeared when they invested in their own research fields.
Several of my friends have gone to well-known devotional classes. When they came back, they looked drastically changed and much happier, but I found that they seemed to be indulging in a happy erratic state and their awareness of what was going on around them was much less. This happiness is a wall that prevents them from building relationships with other things.
So, it's good to have your mind set, and the Law of Attraction is fascinating, but it's not such a great thing. On the road of self-growth, addition is important, but subtraction is more important. We must know our hearts and touch those painful contents instead of simply ignoring them. However, to understand them is precisely to let go of them. Just as a pustule is an independent existence, if you ignore it, it will become more and more serious, and once it is cut and cleaned, its impact on yourself can be minimized.
American psychologist Yalong said that he and his wife often play a game of "imaginary dinner", envisioning a family banquet to entertain a certain type of people. As a result, over the past few decades, they found that any kind of People with problems can easily fill a table of people, but only really happy people can't get a table full of people.
That said, it's easy to master the "law of attraction" and feel good about yourself, but it's a lot harder to be a guest at Yalong's happy dinner party.
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