"Heaven Can Wait" Screenplay
Text / [United States] Vaughn Beatty, Yi May
Translated by Li Zhenglun
"Heaven Can Wait" is the 1978 work of Warren Beatty, America's most-watched comedy film artist, about a strong, promising football player who dies in a car accident as he is about to be extradited to " When he was in Heaven", he suddenly found that his "life is not over", and the leader of "Heaven" immediately sent him back to the world. Unexpectedly, his body had been cremated, so he had to borrow someone else's body to "revive". In the process of "Paradise" leading people to look for a suitable body, many jokes were made, and the athletes who borrowed other people's skins were even more troublesome in the "second half" life, which was hilarious... After the film was released It was a hit, becoming the second highest-grossing film in the US last year. The film won the Best Comedy Award at the 36th Golden Globe Awards in the United States. It was later nominated for nine Academy Awards in 1979, but only won the Best Artistic Film Award. The success of the film made Warren Beatty known as "Hollywood's comedy genius" in the United States. Like Chaplin, he is also a producer, screenwriter, director and actor. Although he has only been in film for about ten years, he has proven to be a man of many talents.
"Heaven Can Wait" is a product of the "old movie remake boom" that Hollywood has seen in recent years. As early as 1941, the film "Mr. Jordan", which was filmed by Columbia, is an old version of "Heaven Can Wait", because both are based on Harry Siegel's stage play, and they are the same in content. To. According to the famous American film critic Andrew Sarris, Beatty's remake, compared with the old version of the 1940s, "is lighter, more luxurious, less somber and less tragic, which shows that people are in The unhealthy thoughts contained in the original plot were not taken as seriously in the seventies as they were in the forties." The "unhealthy thoughts" here is the fear of death. So, in Sarris' view, this reflects changes in American society's attitude to life over the past three decades.
The "absurd comedy" with the theme of "life" after death was popular in the United States in the first half of the 1940s. This type of film is called Film Blanc. The American film critic Peter Valenti, who coined this new term, once summarized the content of such films into four categories: 1. A person leaves the world or falls into a dream; 2. Meets a benevolent person in another world (usually heaven). Represent; 3. Begin a love affair; 4. The dead return to the earth. The genre was on the decline after World War II, but with the success of Beatty's films, it's set to see a resurgence.
Our translation of "Heaven Can Wait" this time is mainly to give everyone the opportunity to come into contact with this type of work. Of course we are not interested in "absurd", but "absurd comedy" can teach us an important lesson: comedy also needs fantasy, including more exaggerated fantasy, and thus more fully expressing the contradictions in real life, and this is the Our comedies are relatively lacking.
This script was translated from the first issue of Japan's "Film Art" magazine in 1979.
editor
rolling hills in california
Like a snake winding its way through the mountains. You can hear the birds singing.
A house on the hillside. A young man in a sports uniform ran out from the inside, holding a football in his hand, stopped for a while and ran towards the field at the end of the road.
The young man, Joe Peddleton, was a member of the "Ramz" professional team. He had to rest for a period of time because of a knee problem. Right now he is practicing.
Joe takes part in a training session on the field.
Joe practices long distance running near his home.
Joe is using gymnastics equipment to increase his strength.
The audience's solidarity and the coach's shouts rang in Joe's ears. He knows that the body is the capital of professional team players, so he is stepping up his physical strength.
court
Outside the stadium, the team's manager and coach were watching Joe in the training camp, exclaiming "very good" and "really good" from time to time, and their eyes showed reliance and expectation. Also watching the team workout is Joe's friend Max.
Coach A: "Does he still use painkillers or something?"
Max (with great satisfaction): "Ah, nothing!"
Coaches: "Really good."
Team owner: "Let him play on Sunday."
A news reporter walked into the field, and he walked up to Joe to talk to him.
News reporter: "Without any surgery, your knee will be fine?"
Joe: "This time the championship game must be won!"
News reporter: "What do you think of your opponent? I mean Garnett!"
Joe: "He's my good friend, our opponent is another team!"
Joe's door
A car frame came up, stopped in front of the door, and Max got out of the car. This man has the appearance of a loyal man, which makes people feel amiable and reliable. He was carrying a suitcase in his hand.
Max strode toward the kitchen.
The room was filled with the simple, unadorned yet relaxed and comfortable atmosphere unique to young single men. Joe was playing the soprano saxophone while watching an 8mm film of a football game.
Max (looking at the juicer): "What's this for?"
Joe: "Make pork liver soup. Add a little vegetable, just the sprouts, and then add the grated cheese. That's good enough, you say."
Max took the dessert out of the suitcase, put it on a plate, and pushed the plate to Joe, who was sitting at the table with the knife, and he sang "Happy Birthday" as he sat grinning at Joe. next to it.
Joe: "Are you familiar? Max!"
Max: "I've been familiar with it for a long time!"
Max cut a snack for Joe.
Max: "I'll have to switch to another business after a while, and live a real life..."
Joe: "I don't know. That's all I have. It's nerve-racking."
Max: "Heartbroken?"
Joe: "It's been so long, I can do something. The problem is chance. Ah, your neck hurts again?"
Joe stood up, grabbed Max's neck with both hands and twisted it violently, only to hear a click, and Max was in pain.
Max: "You are a friend to be thankful for, but you almost broke my neck."
Joe: "You need to pay attention to the balance of the lateral neck muscles and deltoid muscles, and let the nerves from the neck to the waist rest. Only I can cure your neck."
Max: "Listen, you're going to be a coach. You're a midfielder for Sunday's game."
Joe (overjoyed): "Me? Playing against 'Dallas'?"
Max: "Yes!"
The two were very happy.
outdoor
Joe, who decided to play against the "Dallas" team, worked out even harder. He got on his bike and left the house, and the bike hit the road and ran at full speed. He came out of the tunnel on a bicycle. A convertible drove him past, much to his chagrin. Joe pedaled desperately, intending to keep up with the convertible. The convertible walking in front nearly collided with two vehicles approaching on the opposite side. The two cars on the opposite side hurriedly dodged the convertible and drove into the tunnel. At this time, Joe's bicycle also happened to get into the other side of the tunnel.
Dark tunnel.
Suddenly, there was a rumbling in the tunnel, followed by a loud bang. Apparently there was a crash!
So, what is the fate of Joe?
A circular yellow light spot appeared in the middle of the pitch-black picture. It didn't take much time, it was like the light of a faint candle, and at this moment, two figures appeared from it.
The surroundings were full of clouds and mist, and a slight rumbling of thunder could be heard.
Two people came out of the thick cloud. One was Joe, wearing his usual light blue tracksuit and holding a saxophone. The other was a short man with glasses, like a petty official doing business work.
Joe (looking at his watch): "The watch stopped. Is this a dream?"
The short man did not answer, but strode in the mist. At this time, a milky jet (the latest one should be compared) was seen parked in the thick cloud. The front end of the plane sticks out like the hook of an eagle.
People walk up the ramp in a line.
Joe: "Dream of getting on a plane, this is an auspicious dream."
Qiao Dong looked around at the people lining up, wandering around. He kept shouting "This is a dream, a dream".
The short man (leader) came after him.
Leader: "Mr. Peddleton! I'm your leader. Please wait a moment. Please be at the end of the queue in order."
Joe smiled favorably to the people in line.
Joe: "Please enjoy the music."
With that, he blows on his saxophone.
Leader (not annoyingly): "Please arrange it!"
Joe: "I don't fly!"
Leader: "No, you have to go! This is a transfer station!"
Joe: "No, this is my walk before I wake up."
Leader (with a sullen face): "I'll tell you again, this is a very orderly organization. The rules of the transfer station...it's not allowed to refuse to obey."
Joe: "Okay, then I'll do a trick. To relieve everyone's boredom. (pulls a coin out of his pocket) Look, it's a real fifty cents, right? I put it in my hand and chanted... …”
Joe fiddled with the coins neatly.
Joe: "Look, is it gone? Where did you say it went?"
Joe took the coin out of the guide's ear and showed him.
Someone shouted "Everyone" in the distance, and Mr. Jordan, the transfer station manager, appeared in front of him. This is a dignified gentleman.
Station Master: "What's going on?"
Leader: "He refused to get on the plane!"
Station Master: "Did you explain the rules to him in detail? How did he react?"
Leader: "He pulled a fifty-cent coin out of my ear."
Station Master (seriously): "That's it! Then let me talk to him. (Master shouts) Mr. Peddleton!"
Joe is doing push-ups in the cloud.
Leader (pointing to where Joe is): "It's there."
Station Master (shouting again): "Mr. Peddleton."
Joe came out of the fog.
Joe: "Just call me Joe. Hello!"
Webmaster: "Do you know what kind of situation you are in now?"
Joe: "I'm having a weird dream."
Station Master: "Come to me. You have to listen carefully to what I say. Do you know what kind of situation you are in now? This is not a dream. Of course people who are alive have feelings. Dreams are not like that here. Place. Do you understand? This is not a dream. This is another world that must come after life or dream ends. So, you must act like everyone else!"
Joe: "But, I'm still early."
Station Master: "But, you've already arrived."
Joe: "Anyone can get things wrong."
It's time for the plane to take off. The flight attendant standing under the gangway with the roster in his hand shouted, "It's time to take off".
Station Master: "Okay! Immediately. (To Joe) If you don't go, the others won't get to the finish line. That's bad."
Joe: "I'm still early in heaven."
Station Master: "This is not heaven, it's a transfer station. (turns back to the flight attendant) Check again to see his scheduled arrival date!"
The leader (feeling embarrassed and apprehensive): "Why do you have to check it again?"
Webmaster: "Are you afraid that because of any doubt, letting others know about it will cause a disturbance?"
The flight attendant used the phone to talk to the people inside the plane. He put down the receiver and loudly told the station master, "Joe Peddleton's deadline is March 20, 2025 at ten in the morning!"
Joe: "Fifty years left!"
The leader (in panic): "I really thought he was dying, so I led him here.…"
Station Master (interrupting the leader): "Are you dying? Then why don't you wait?"
Leader: "But I think he's in a lot of pain. …"
Station Master: "Are you doing this kind of job as a leader for the first time? You can't do things accurately! It's not the same thing as dying and dying! Hurry up and send him back to his original place and write him off from the roster! Immediately let him go. He's alive again!"
Joe (very happy): "See you in fifty years."
neat cemetery
People are giving Joe a solemn funeral. The leader and Qiao Yu suddenly appeared here. Joe's tragic passing is mourned with great sadness. Joe walked up to Max.
Joe: "Ah, Max, I'm back!"
Max didn't see Joe, and he was still grief-stricken.
Leader: "Can't he hear!"
Max (in a low voice): "Joe, you have to win games in heaven. You're the conductor."
Joe (in panic): "Revive me now! Where is my body?"
However, people are scattering his ashes on the safflower.
Joe: "It's cremated. There's a game on Sunday. Let me live to beat them. (To the leader) Let me revive, there's always something you can do!"
He earnestly asked to lead the way.
Leader: "Please think about it, this is the most important thing. If there is no dead body, then the body can be revived."
Joe: "Don't be kidding! Make me a different person? I won't do it! You give me back my original body!"
Leader: "But this is the only way. Let's discuss what to do now!"
acrobatics
Joe and his guide come to the acrobatics, where the actors are about to perform a tightrope walk.
Leader (looks at the acrobat): "Classy, similar age, and in good health."
Joe (dissatisfied): "You won't be tall enough to compete."
Leader: "You want to participate in the championship game, right? I know that!"
The actor walked on a tightrope and fell off halfway.
car racing circuit
The two came to the racetrack, and the cars participating in the race were about to set off.
Leader (looking at the competitor): "This guy's body is so good."
Joe (to the contestant): "Hey, do you speak English?"
Leader: "He can't hear, and he can't see you."
Competitors are speaking in German.
Joe: "German is not good, football is played in English."
Leader: "Please, stop talking nonsense."
The competitor died just after the start.
Although the leader is very lively, he is indeed a god of death.
in the mist
The two came.
Leader: "There's only one candidate left!"
front of the mansion
Joe and the webmaster appear here.
They disappeared in the blink of an eye in front of the tall door, and it turned out that they had already crossed the door. It is indeed a mansion with superb design and luxurious and majestic architecture.
The voices of a man and a woman came from a room. This is a study.
The men and women who spoke seemed to be worried about something and were a little irritable. The man is the part-time secretary of the owner, Fangsworth, and the woman is the owner's wife, Julia.
Julia: "Give me a drink! I want a drink!"
Secretary: "Mr. Fangsworth doesn't want you to drink."
The butler brought a tray of wine.
Secretary (stops the housekeeper who is leaving the room): "Leave the door open. (to Julia) Here's the proof. I beg you, quit drinking."
Julia (hysterically): "When did people find his body?"
Secretary: "Don't worry, you'll be found out soon. He probably didn't have much pain. You have to cry a little fancy in front of everyone."
The stationmaster and Joe appear here, looking at the man and woman. After listening to their conversation, the two walked towards the bathroom.
The corpse appeared to be still moving. The stationmaster and Joe looked down.
Joe: "Is he dead?"
Webmaster: "Not yet."
Joe: "Strange, eyes closed."
Station Master: "I'm anesthetized, those two guys murdered. If you do this, the deceased can't even struggle, and dies in a drowsy state."
Joe panicked and shouted loudly.
Joe: "That's incredible! Drowned in a tub! Get a doctor!"
Although he shouted loudly, no one could hear him.
Julia's room
Julia and the secretary were still fidgeting.
Julia: "Give me wine!"
Secretary (waves his hand to stop her): "Forget it!"
Julia: "It would be good for the world to kill that sadist. Now he must be dead."
The stationmaster and Joe are here again.
Joe: "Are they the murderers?"
Julia still shouted restlessly.
The secretary covered her mouth with her hand. Then the butler came in.
Butler Sisko: "Miss Rogan, who came here before, said she wanted to see Mr...."
Secretary: "Bring her!"
The housekeeper goes out. Julia was still fidgety.
Secretary (it seems necessary to cheer Julia): "The proof is complete. Let the maid find the body, and this is the proof for you."
The butler brought Miss Logan. The steward introduced Miss Rogan, a wise and wise young woman with curly hair.
Secretary (to Chick Rogan): "My name is Tony Abbott, and this is the study. (Introducing Julia) This is Mrs."
Julia: "I'm in the sitting room."
Go out when you're done.
Secretary: "I'm Mr. Fangsworth's private secretary. I'm a director of the company myself. He's still upstairs."
Miss Rogan: "Okay, I'll wait for him."
The secretary invited Miss Logan to take a seat.
Secretary: "What do you want to talk about?"
Miss Rogan (tough:) "I'm from Bakr Jamm, England. There are 1,673 people there, because you're going to build a refinery there and force them to evacuate that place. They just If you want to be driven out of your hometown where you have lived for hundreds of years, even if you stay, you will be attacked by deadly pollution. Whether it is air or water, all... (takes out the petition) This is the petition of the residents. I am for a Thousands of six hundred and seventy-three people have come to negotiate with him face to face!"
Secretary: "Please go to the head office to discuss this issue!"
Miss Logan: "I won't see him if I go. I'll wait for him, and I won't leave until I see him. So cruel to the residents of Bakr Jam! …"
The stationmaster and Joe have been here listening to the conversation between the two of them. Joe sympathized with Miss Rogan's request.
Station Master: "You can replace this Fangsworth!"
The stationmaster was earnestly persuading him.
Miss Rogan: "If he doesn't see me, we'll take every means..."
Secretary: "Are you going to threaten?"
Miss Rogan: "Yes!"
On the other side, the stationmaster was trying to persuade Joe to replace the Fangsworth.
Joe: "I don't want to replace him. Then we can't play ball!"
Webmaster: "Then it's up to you to decide"!
Joe was really embarrassed, but he didn't want to sit back and watch the situation in front of him.
Joe: "Well, even if I replace it, it will only be temporary."
Station Master: "Just do it!"
Secretary (to the housekeeper): "Go and tell Mr. Fangsworth that Miss Logan won't leave without you!"
The housekeeper was ordered to go to the bathroom.
Joe panicked, because if a body was found, everything would be in vain.
Station Master (calmly): "If you want to help her, you have to hurry!"
Joe (still uneasy): "It's only temporary!"
Station Master: "If the body is found, it can't be replaced!"
bathroom
Joe looked in the mirror in Fangsworth's robe. He made a face.
Joe: "Strange, nothing has changed!"
A knock on the door.
The butler's voice-over: "Sir, sir, are you feeling a little uncomfortable?"
Webmaster: "Quickly answer!"
Joe: "Then can he hear?"
The stationmaster nodded.
Joe (worried): "But the tone is wrong!"
Butler's voiceover: "Are you feeling ill?"
Qiao (Zhi looks at the stationmaster nervously): "What should I do?"
Butler's voiceover: "Are you there?"
Station Master: "Only I know who you are. In the eyes of others, you are Fangsworth!"
Joe (determined to answer): "Come in!"
When the housekeeper came in, he didn't feel anything unnatural about Joe.
Butler: "Miss Rogan said she had to see you anyway!"
Joe still doesn't feel like himself.
Joe (to the stationmaster): "The same tone as Fangsworth?"
The butler felt inexplicable when he heard this.
Butler: "What did you just say?"
locker room
Two or three servants were waiting for Joe to change his farm clothes. First a servant put him in shorts, and Joe was a little embarrassed. He saw the old-fashioned white tracksuit for hockey and put it on immediately.
downstairs room
In the downstairs room, Julia was with the secretary. Julia also wants to drink. The secretary stepped forward to stop her.
Julia (hysterically): "You regret being an accomplice, don't you? You think me because you murdered him. No? That's right?"
Secretary: "Smack? On the contrary, I love you very much!"
The secretary hugs Julia.
stair hallway
Joe and the servant are going down the stairs. They are going downstairs.
Maid: "Put on your hockey helmet..."
Joe (frozen for a moment): "Am I going to play hockey?"
As soon as Joe took the helmet, another servant handed over the hockey stick.
Julia's room
The secretary and Julia waited impatiently for the servants to report Fangsworth's death.
Secretary: "Okay, just pretend to read a book quietly here."
study
Miss Logan is waiting to meet Fantsworth. There were footsteps outside the door. Joe entered, accompanied by the butler.
Butler: "This is Miss Logan."
Joe: "Hello!"
Miss Rogan (speaking quickly, as if she was eager to say something): "I'll tell you everything I'm going to say. It's about building a refinery in England. You already knew that? Because You didn't answer us, that's why I came here. This is a protest of 1,673 people! (handing him the protest letter) All signed. The bad guys will rule our future! We refuse to be like you Cold-blooded capitalists occupy this land! Got it?"
Joe: "Yes, yes!"
Miss Rogan: "Your rebuttal is in vain! We have already investigated your company. I think the newspaper will welcome the investigation materials."
The servant brought the tea set.
Joe sat down.
Joe: "Have some tea, please."
Miss Logan (in a mild manner): "You answer me first! In the name of the liberal camp, the English town you bought is our hometown we have always loved so much. We will never allow your domineering behavior. !"
Joe: "That's what I think too. I'm against it!"
The secretary and Julia appeared at the door.
When Julia saw that Joe was here, she immediately let out a frantic cry.
The secretary quickly took Julia away.
Miss Logan (startled): "Who is that?"
Joe: "My...wife."
The secretary pushed open the door.
Secretary: "I'm sorry! Madam was startled when she saw a mouse, so..."
Joe: "Rats?"
Secretary: "She suddenly remembered seeing it in the yard. I'm waiting for your order in another room."
The secretary walked away.
another room
Julia tilted her head in thought.
Julia: "That's weird!"
study
Joe: "Not worth the fuss."
Miss Rogan: "It's always your wife!"
Joe: "Sometimes she's like that."
Miss Logan (still in the same tone): "In short, we will never allow you to open a refinery!"
Joe (lightly): "Got it."
Miss Rogan: "Don't be joking. You may find it strange that a rural teacher dares to go against the big business. Tell you, in the past..."
Joe: "There's only one thing I want to ask you. Sit down first. All questions will be discussed after you sit down. .
Miss Rogan: "You mean to make fun of me, don't you? You take other people's humiliation for fun, don't you? I tell you, do you have a board of directors on Thursday? Your company and your ruthless attitude will definitely We are slammed back by the solidarity of the residents. We will never stop!"
Miss Logan finished all she had to say and walked out of the room.
The stationmaster appeared beside Joe. He is free to haunt.
Joe (beaten his head): "Unfortunate job! Get me a double now."
a corner of the garden
in the shade. From here, you can see the American flag fluttering in the wind across the distance. The secretary and Julia were in the shade, and the secretary was desperately trying to appease the noisy Julia.
Secretary: "I beg you, don't be so loud, okay? There's nothing to be afraid of."
Julia's mouth was covered by the secretary, and she struggled to get rid of his hand.
Secretary: "It's settled, don't make noise!"
Julia nodded. The secretary released his hand from Julia's mouth.
Julia: "What excuse did you make?"
Secretary: "I said I saw a mouse. I didn't think of anything because of this occasion."
Julia: "He knows everything anyway."
Secretary: "So many anesthetics... how did he survive?"
Julia: "He already knew our plan, eavesdropped, and recorded it."
Secretary: "Eavesdropping, that's his specialty. Every day he asks his eavesdropping experts to check the eavesdropping stuff."
Julia: "He's having fun with us now, it's a game for him."
Someone came over, Julia screamed again, and the secretary quickly covered her mouth.
A servant came.
Maid: "Mr. Fangsworth invites you to come."
The secretary nodded.
Another corner of the wide garden
Joe and the secretary were talking and playing hockey.
Secretary: "That matter, you can rest assured, we are legal."
Joe: "Even if it's legal, it's not right to do bad things because it harms others."
Secretary: "I don't understand."
Joe: "For example, this refinery."
Joe played the ball, and the ball went nowhere. The same sports, as if hockey and football are controlled by different nerves.
Joe: "It's a total bullshit."
The two continued to talk while walking.
Secretary: "On the negotiation of the purchase of two 9 million square meters of land in Haiti..."
Joe: "What's the use?"
Secretary: "Make candy."
Joe: "No, that sugar is poisonous."
Secretary: "Then with the ambassador..."
Joe: "The first thing to do is to solve the nuisance problem of Bakr Jam."
Secretary: "Public hazard?"
The two came to the place where the ball hit the ball. There was a small thing in the shape of a Chinese table at their feet, and the secretary crouched down and played with it carefully. Because he suspected it was a bug.
Secretary (very earnestly): "Battlers need to be more vigilant. Exu Enterprises has taken foolproof measures."
Joe: "However, I am firmly opposed to public harm!"
At this moment, the maid picked up the ball that Joe had just hit lost.
Joe's sitting room (originally Fangsworth's sitting room)
Joe was alone in the room, relaxed and began to play the saxophone we had seen. Strange noises resounded throughout the building.
Julia and the secretary were in the corridor, listening to his playing and talking.
Secretary: "Guess how the shareholders questioned him? The shareholders said, you are planning to bring down the company."
Julia: "Because he knew he was nearly killed."
Secretary: "But this is also inexplicable!"
Julia: "A deliberate trap! That flute is also a means of intrigue. It must be a tape recorder. You didn't notice him playing that tune over and over again? You are so confused!"
garden in the evening
The servants gathered and lined up. The stars and stripes in the hallway were solemnly lowered. At the same time as the flag was lowered, there was a boom and a cannon fire. There are ancient cannons erected here.
meal jin
Dinner table. Joe, Julia and the secretary were seated. A large dining table, with Julia and Joe sitting opposite each other. Joe put on a blue sailor suit, and he had a great appetite, eating and drinking so much that knives, forks, cups and plates rattled.
The secretary felt inexplicable, and laughed secretly as he watched Joe gobble like this.
Joe went back to his room immediately after eating.
Joe's sitting room
Joe flipped the switch on the TV and watched the sports news.
Voiceover from TV broadcaster: "The San Francisco Rams (Joe's team) are doing well. The Western Conference round robin is solid, the players are high, the game is at the peak of the game, and the possibility of the National Championship is very good. Especially Garnett Very active, exceptional. Bottom line score! Eighteen…”
Julia's room
Julia and the secretary lay affectionately on the bed. They were surprised to hear the news of the game from Joe's room.
some evening
In the garden, the flag is being lowered. It's the end of the day's business. Cannon shot.
Dinning room
It was still dinner, and Joe was wearing a white sailor suit tonight. The Julia cup is always in hand, just drinking.
Qiao: "Will there be any benefits for a top-secret merger of a big company with a big company?"
Secretary: "Yes, the wind alone will make the stock price go up."
Qiao: "Since it's a top secret, how could it leak out?"
Secretary (mouthed tongue-tied): "Yeah, but..."
Joe: "This is a crooked way!"
Secretary (silently answering correctly): "Yes!"
Joe (confidently): "In order to attend tomorrow's board of directors, I have to study! (Looking at Julia sitting across from him, suddenly) You are right!"
Julia was taken aback, and the glass fell on the table with a clatter.
Joe stood up and threw the napkin on the chair. When he was about to walk out of the room, he greeted the butler beside him graciously: "Thank you! It's delicious."
Joe's bedroom
Joe lay on the bed casually flipping through the company's information, without interest, he immediately put it aside, picked up his beloved saxophone, lay down and played.
A large mirror (presumably the deceased owner had a peculiar hobby) was set in the canopy above the bed.
Julia's bedroom
Here you can hear the saxophone. Cai Liya and the secretary were lying on the bed, and their faces showed expressions of increasing incomprehension towards Joe.
locker room
Joe was changing while the servants waited on him. Joe looked at the sailor suits that hung neatly in the closet.
Joe: "Why all sailor suits?"
Butler: "Because you always like to wear it."
Joe: "I'm on the boat?"
Butler (can't help but stunned): "You're just joking."
Joe also realized that this should not be the case, said "OK" and apologized to the housekeeper.
at the stairs
Joe, in all his gentlemanly attire, went down the stairs, and a servant came after him, asking questions as he went.
Maid: "Which hat are you wearing?"
Joe paid no attention at all.
in front of the foyer
The helicopter has been waiting for a long time, and it is completely the pomp of the big entrepreneur Fangsworth to go out.
Joe boarded the plane, and the servant handed him the flying cap. He had no choice but to take it and put it on.
Overlooking downtown San Francisco
After the rain, high-rise buildings, big and small, sprung up into the sky like mushrooms. The helicopter landed on the roof of an ultra-modern building that seemed to be made up of many cylinders.
in the building
In the lobby, many reporters seem to have been waiting here for a long time. At this moment, Joe and the secretary came in.
Miss Rogan stood in a corner of the hall.
Reporter A: "I'm a reporter for The Times, and I'd like to ask you about the petition filed by the residents of Bakr Jam..."
Reporter B: "In order to build the refinery, do you plan to force the residents to relocate?"
Joe (looking back at him): "Relocate?"
Reporter C: "What about the permission to build a factory?"
Joe: "What do you mean?"
Reporter C: "I'm asking what means to use..."
Joe: "Ah, probably a bribe."
Secretary: "You are only joking."
The reporters laughed loudly and the voices were noisy. Miss Logan walked from a corner of the hall to Joe's side.
Miss Rogan: "What about the chemical fiber factory? What about the harmful gas emitted by this factory? All these, do you plan to ignore the consumer union's protest?"
Joe (with a smile): "I have also researched all aspects of the problem. There are also solutions. Come in and listen."
Secretary (in panic): "Ask an outsider to come?"
Joe: "Okay!"
After Joe refuted the secretary, he walked towards the conference room.
meeting room
Around the big table were the faces of directors who were already tired. They seemed to have heard about Fangsworth's madman-like nonsense, so they were quite prepared.
Joe (kindly): "Ah, gentlemen, I held a press conference. I let them know about the company's measures."
Director E: "This is a dangerous precedent!"
The reporters crowded into the conference room, including Miss Logan.
Director D (in panic): "This has never happened before..."
Reporter A: "It is said that your company's nuclear plant was the cause of the recent earthquake... This is a very surprising question."
Director D: "I'm sorry, but I want to make it clear to you that Exxu's equipment is guaranteed to be absolutely safe."
Miss Logan (loudly): "That's just for show!"
Joe: "If it's absolutely safe, why are they suing us?"
Director D: "That was just a protest."
Joe: "No, we're doing it wrong. There's also lawsuits from refineries, from nuclear plants to dolphins."
Director E: "That's a cannery thing!"
Joe: "I'm talking about destroying the breeding environment for dolphins."
Director D: "It's a long time ago. Our fishing fleet is going to catch tuna anyway, and the dolphin's food is gone, and of course it's hit."
The secretary and a bald director slipped out of the meeting room.
outside the meeting room
Bald Director: "I really can't understand why reporters are brought into the conference room?"
Secretary: "Psychotic!"
quarrel in the conference room
Director E (fired): "Think about your liability issues, which are much more important to shareholders than purely environmental issues!"
Joe: "But if you play football, you can't win."
Director E (stunned): "What do you mean by that?"
Joe (loudly): "Are we likely to win at the end of the term?"
Director E: "The results are very good."
Joe: "Okay! So, what do you need to pay attention to when dribbling alone?"
Director D: "What are you talking about!"
Qiao (spoken): "First of all, don't pass the ball wrong. Avoid dangers that shouldn't be taken, guard the gate, be careful not to run wildly, and don't get injured. If you win, you must prepare for the next game immediately. This is the responsibility ...Those who like to eat tuna can eat it as hard as they can, but if the dolphins are short of food because of this, they should eat less."
Director D: "That said, but the cost is incredible!"
Joe: "The first thing to consider is not the cost, but the benefit! Protecting dolphins can correct the image of our company in the minds of the public, and the litigation problem will be solved accordingly. Let other companies do the nuclear plant, because all the The newspapers condemned it unanimously. The most important thing is the control of the team. Let's play openly. Open and win in the end! Let's forget about the nuclear plant and stop the refinery in Bakrjam, What is the $30 million amount! Because this is related to the finals. The most important thing is not to just look at the outcome of one game, but to look at the end! (Enthusiastic) Well let us all compete for the championship finals Let's win!"
Joe's ebullient speech ended.
Joe's Mansion
Joe returns from the meeting.
The servants are lowering the flag. Cannon shot.
Joe walked quickly into the hall. Julia was in the hallway when she was taken aback by Joe's sudden return, and the vase fell to the ground.
Joe walked past her without hesitation and greeted her.
Joe: "Ah, how are you?"
Julia (pretending to be nonchalant): "Very good!"
Joe went into his room.
After he entered the door, he first turned on the TV switch, as usual, it was sports news.
Julia's room
Julia and the secretary.
Julia: "How did it turn out?"
The TV news from Joe's room came to this room, and the TV broadcaster was bragging about "Ramz"'s big breakthrough.
Julia: "So..."
Secretary: "Even if you don't die immediately, you have to go to a mental hospital."
Julia: "Then tonight..."
Joe's room
The stationmaster and the guide came here.
Joe: "You came just in time, there's not much time left!"
Joe walked out of the room and down the stairs. The station master and the guide also followed, and the servants looked at him in surprise because they couldn't see them, they thought Joe was talking to himself.
Joe led the stationmaster and the guide to the stuffing room at the corner of the stairs.
Webmaster: "Find a few suitable ones."
Joe: "You've fulfilled your appointment. The competition is coming soon, please find a replacement for me, I hope to find someone with strong hands and feet and agile movements. The championship is coming soon!"
Because there was a voice in the small storeroom, the two maids pricked up their ears and listened. The housekeeper Sisko coughed deliberately and drove the two maids away.
Three people in the warehouse heard knocking on the door.
Joe: "Who?"
Butler: "Sisko. Miss Rogan is here, saying she wants to see you!"
Qiao (correcting the placket): "I'll go right now!"
Butler (goes into the warehouse, solemnly): "Do you close the door?"
Joe (to Sisko): "Yes! (to a friend from heaven) Please do everything!"
downstairs parlour
Joe entered the parlour, where Miss Logan was waiting. She was completely different from the stubbornness of her first visit, dignified and refined.
Miss Logan: "It was so offensive the other day. The fact that you do it is admirable. No one can do it. (Looking at Joe's face) You look a little tired. Ah."
Joe: "Would you like to have a potluck here?!"
Without waiting for Rogan to say if he could, he immediately walked to the corridor to greet the servant.
JOE (loudly): "Miss Rogan and I have a potluck! Oh, and don't forget the pork liver soup!"
Joe went back to the room and saw Miss Logan looking rather embarrassed.
Joe: "Let's go out to eat, shall we?"
After speaking, she walked back to the corridor without waiting for Miss Rogan to express her ok or not.
Joe: "Sisko, I'm going out! Eat out!"
corridor
The two of them got dressed and walked out of the room. A servant chased after him with five or six hats in both hands.
Maid: "Which one do you wear?"
Joe: "I hate hats! Don't get them for me next time!"
In front of the drive-in, at night
There were many cars parked in front of the restaurant, among them Joe and Miss Rogan's. The driver was also in the car.
Miss Rogan: "Do you always come here?"
Joe (shyly): "I don't want people to see us together."
Miss Rogan: "That's what happened!"
The two looked at each other, and then deliberately avoided each other's eyes, both of them looked a little embarrassed.
The driver expressed his approval for the close relationship between the two in the back seat.
Joe: "Excuse me, I finally got a good look at your face."
Miss Rogan: "Me too... Although I hate you, I can't help but look at you. I feel a certain spirit in your eyes."
The driver nodded when he heard this.
Miss Logan: "You don't seem to care about the identity of the other party."
Joe looked intently at Miss Rogan.
Miss Rogan: "What are you thinking?"
Joe; "Ah... this is the first time I feel this way. I have to discuss something with someone. Send you home!"
In front of Miss Rogan's house
Miss Rogan walked up the stairs of her house, and stopped after just two steps.
Miss Logan: "Good night!"
Joe took a step forward and looked up at Rogan.
Joe: "I'm getting a divorce!"
Miss Logan: "Uh? Divorce without separation?"
Joe: "We've been separated a long time ago. There are so many houses."
Joe's Mansion
Joe is back. The leader was waiting for him at the corner of the stairs.
Joe pulled him into the former warehouse.
Joe: "The situation has changed. It's better not to change it now."
Leader: "That's really bad. It took a lot of effort to find it."
Joe: "But things have changed now, and it's because of Betty Rogan. My new life is about to start. I'm going to get Max to help me train my body. Get someone else to do it for me, just let it go."
Leader (very unhappy): "What's a pull down!"
Joe: "Please tell Mr. Jordan. I'm fine with my body."
The leader: "It's just ridiculous. I made you feel dizzy, and you should have simply refused your request. But you finally found an athlete, and you..."
outside the warehouse
The servant stood outside the door holding a tray. The housekeeper walked past here.
Maid: "It's too bad, Coco needs to cool down!"
Butler: "For two people?"
Maid: "I want two. Probably to entertain invisible guests."
Joe came out of the storeroom.
Joe (to the servants): "Ah, how are you all?"
Talking and walking up to the second floor.
Julia's bedroom
knocking. Julia and the secretary were lying on the bed, Julia panicked and rushed the secretary to hide behind the curtain.
Julia: "Wait a minute! Okay, please!"
The door was pushed open a crack, and Joe put his head in.
Joe: "We have no love, let's get a divorce."
As soon as the voice fell, the door slammed shut immediately.
Julia laughed.
Before the laughter was over, Joe opened the door again.
Joe: "Tom, get me the 'Ramz' coach Max!"
Secretary: "Yes! Mr. Fangsworth!"
Joe slammed the door shut again.
Julia: "You are so stupid! Why did you agree!"
Secretary: "I made him bewildered!"
Joe's bedroom
Joe came in and just dropped his shirt on the bed, when the large mirror in the ceiling above the bed fell off with a loud bang.
Julia's bedroom
Julia and the secretary were overjoyed.
Julia: "Dead!"
Just when I felt that my wish was fulfilled, someone knocked on the door, and Qiao probed in.
Joe: "Max's number is 545.2111."
Secretary's voiceover; "I see."
corridor
The butler led Max over.
Butler: "He's waiting for you in the dance studio."
Dance room
Great room. The servants are carrying equipment for physical exercise.
Joe (with great joy): "Ah! Max, how are you? You've lost some weight."
Max (extremely surprised): "Where did you meet me?"
Joe: "Ah, nothing. Hope you do me a favor. I used to be a football player!"
Max (looking at the equipment): "That's great! But I can't be a coach."
Joe put his arms around Max's shoulders.
Joe: "You know what happens when someone dies? There's a transfer station where you check for errors and deal with the aftermath. Let's say, for example, there's a player who's working out and he's coming across the road while he's working out on a bike. A car, but his motor nerves, hey! It's not bad, just brush the ground and dodge. I'm Joe Peddleton. I remember my sister, and I know you are very good eloquence."
Max shook his head, he couldn't understand. He was about to leave and go back, but Joe pulled him back.
At this time, the stationmaster appeared.
Joe (to the stationmaster): "What? He didn't think I was Joe."
Station Master: "You can figure it out yourself. Let him listen to music."
Max couldn't see the stationmaster at all, and at this moment, he was even more confused and looked at Joe inexplicably.
Max: "If you ask me, it's better to ask a doctor to show you."
Joe quickly picked up his saxophone and played the half-baked tune.
Max: "Joe!"
He shouted. Looking back, Fangsworth was still in front of him.
Joe was helpless. He walked over to Max and twisted Max's neck suddenly.
Max: "Joe! Sure enough, Joe!"
He shouted, terribly excited.
Joe: "Pork liver soup! Pig liver soup!"
He grumbled and walked out.
Only Max was left in the room. He also wanted to ask Joe's friend from heaven, the webmaster, why Joe became Fangsworth. Although he was sure it was Joe, he just didn't understand the mystery. He asked the stationmaster, but the stationmaster was no longer here. Still, Max now finally understands that Joe has become Fangsworth.
garden
The trees are trimmed neatly. Someone was practicing football on the pitch in the yard. The two armies faced off against all the servants, with Max as the coach.
Dance room
Joe is exercising with the equipment.
yard
The secretary was also called in for long-distance running training. The servants ran out of breath, and it didn't take long for Joe to keep running and continue exercising. He transformed Fangsworth's body into Joe's.
gym lounge
Athletes came in and out, and the voices were noisy.
Someone said: "Fendersworth bought 'Ramzi'!"
Another said: "Fangsworth is going to play avant-garde!"
There is a lot of gossip.
Stand next to the sports field
The "Ramz" team owner and team staff stood there talking to the players on the field.
Boss: "Fuck, he took my team for sixty-seven million dollars."
Team staff: "Enough guy!"
The secretary sat alone in the stands. He saw a strong black athlete beating his shoulders with a machine in preparation for a game, and approached him.
Secretary: "I'm Fangsworth's secretary, please take care. You have a promising future. Although he doesn't like black people... but you forget about it."
The black player was not at all interested in the previous words, and after listening to the latter sentence, he glanced at him immediately.
The practice game has begun.
Joe: "It's all a good practice, you're welcome."
He shouted a command in a loud voice, and the players gathered with their heads bowed (Note 1). The moment the order was dispersed, the black player slammed into Joe's body with a thud, knocking Joe down.
Black player: "I'm sorry!"
Joe: "Never mind. Do it again."
Once again the players bowed their heads and gathered together, and as the orders dispersed, the black player rammed Joe again.
Black player: "I'm so sorry!"
The secretary in the stands watched with a smile.
The third time, the players gathered again and bowed their heads. The white player next to the black man whispered, "Let me do it this time!" With a shout, this time the black and white players hit Joe together.
The secretary and the bald director stood beside the entrance to the stadium.
Director: "It's really weird. You bought a $19 million team for $67 million. But then, last week the stock was five or six, and today it's fourteen."
The secretary and the reporter with the notebook in hand walked on the sports field, and they talked as they walked.
Secretary: "He doesn't rest either. As for himself, he will also serve as an avant-garde when he competes for the championship in the future."
Reporter: "Is it insane? Is there any abnormality in daily actions? Is there any heart disease..."
Secretary: "That's what you see."
Players on the sports field.
Joe was getting bumped all the time, and he was getting a little impatient.
Joe (to black players): "Don't force it. Pass the ball only once, if it doesn't work then forget it."
The ball came into Joe's hands, and Joe immediately passed the ball with beautiful passing skills and was very active.
The coaches were very happy to see it.
Max: "Beautiful! Good! Let him play."
The secretary stood in the stands and watched with a sad face.
lounge
The athletes are back. A black athlete greets Joe.
Black Athlete: "You're doing a good job. Have you ever competed in the past? …"
Joe: "Only played hockey."
Joe's mansion, in the yard
Joe held a reception, and there were many visitors.
building window
Julia and the secretary stood at the window looking out over the yard.
Julia: "Are you taking a commemorative photo with the team?"
Secretary: "No. There are old men and scrawny guys. They are people who support the organization of the Axu Environmental Protection Alliance."
Julia: "Trap, environmental protection, football."
Secretary: "Divorce too?"
Julia: "Divorce hasn't been announced yet. As soon as it was announced, I immediately became a suspect!"
Julia shuddered just thinking about it.
Secretary: "Shh! It's going to be troublesome if you get wiretapped."
The secretary tried to put his hand over Julia's mouth, but Julia pulled his hand away.
Julia: "Don't touch my mouth again with your hand. Act now. We have papers before we get married, and he has to guarantee my life...but you must be fired."
Secretary: "I love you."
Julia: "What's the use of love? You're going to be a real criminal."
yard
Joe took the tray of wine glasses from the butler, and he also handed the butler a glass of wine, and then handed it to the guests.
In the yard, the stars and stripes fluttered in the wind.
Joe walked up to Miss Rogan, and the two of them left the many guests at the same time, and went for a walk in the garden.
The two stopped by the well. Joe pulled out a coin for her to do the trick, and gave it to Miss Rogan.
Miss Rogan held the coin in thought.
Joe: "Are you praying?"
Miss Rogan nodded.
Joe: "Then put the coins in your purse. Well, let's sit over there."
The two walked towards the building.
In the building, the door of the balcony
Joe and Miss Rogan were facing each other.
Joe: "I'm doing football, don't you think it's weird?"
Miss Rogan: "You should do what you like."
Joe: "That means you can do it!"
Miss Logan: "If you decide to do it, then do it."
Joe: "Maybe because I'm rich..."
Miss Logan: "Don't be afraid. Many people are afraid of this and that for no reason."
Joe: "You know what? I'm only afraid of one, and that is losing you!"
Miss Logan (smiling slightly): "Then you don't have to be afraid."
The horn of the car waiting for Rogan sounded outside.
Miss Rogan: "I'm leaving!"
Joe: "Let's get married! (Looking at her silently) You think I'm mentally ill?"
Miss Rogan: "No such thing!"
There had long been a shadow on the opposite hedge, and Joe discovered it at this time.
Miss Rogan: "What's the matter?"
Joe: "Please wait a moment, I'll be right back."
After he finished speaking, he ran towards the hedge.
shade of a hedge
The guide is waiting for him here.
Leader: "Mr. Fangsworth's body can no longer be used!"
Joe: "What?!"
Leader: "It's true that my whole life is over."
Joe: "And what about the championship game!"
Leader: "Now my body can't play."
Joe: "Why?"
Leader: "Regulations!"
Joe: "Another rule! It's all your fault! I'll talk to Mr. Jordan directly. Everything can be fixed. You can go."
balcony
Joe is back. Miss Logan looked at Joe with a worried look.
Miss Logan: "What's the matter?"
Joe: "Something. I'll take you to the car."
next to the car
The car has been waiting for a long time. Joe and Miss Logan stood by the car.
Miss Rogan: "Anything bothering you?"
Joe: "I thought about your wonderful future. I'm not letting anyone take it away."
Jo looked at Miss Logan with passion.
Miss Rogan (with some worry): "I don't understand. Why..."
Joe: "I want to take all of you to heart!"
Miss Rogan: "What happened?"
Joe: "No! (but still staring at her) Don't you forget me, you feel something in my eyes, don't you. If, say, like a football player, if you What do you think of him...he's still a good guy. He's probably a forward."
Miss Rogan: "I don't understand!"
Joe: "I'm a little out of my head. I don't have anything to fear anymore!"
Both of them actively approached each other, hugged, and kissed.
Joe put her in the car.
The car drives away. The stationmaster appeared immediately.
Webmaster: "Follow the rules!"
Joe: "What's the rule?"
Webmaster: "Everything went according to plan."
Joe: "Please wait a little longer, there is a championship game!"
Webmaster: "Can't wait. Previous plans have changed."
Joe: "I don't want to. Tell you, I'm not going!"
Webmaster: "You yourself said it was only temporary."
Joe: "It's not that I don't believe my word, but now I don't want to."
Station Master (sympathetically): "I really can't help your fate."
Joe: "I'm not going anyway because I'm in a relationship."
Webmaster: "The first is to obey the rules, not to fall in love."
The two walked towards the yard.
In the building, Julia's room
The secretary took out the gun. Julia was very composed, sitting in front of the mirror and putting on her makeup.
yard
The stationmaster and Joe went to the well.
Just then, a gunshot rang out, and Joe plunged into the well.
At the same time, the cannon was fired and the Star-Spangled Banner was lowered.
Julia's room
The secretary left the window with a gun.
yard, well
First the saxophone comes out of the well, and Joe comes out next.
Still in the blue jersey he had worn before, he walked with the station master.
The stance of the step is still the same as the athlete.
in the cloud
Joe and the stationmaster were walking in the clouds.
in the building
The servants were running around looking for their master. The housekeeper was knocking on the door of the warehouse at the corner of the stairs.
Butler: "Are you here?"
Miss Rogan's home
She picked up the telephone receiver on the bedside table to make a call, thought about it and put it down.
police station
Because of Fangsworth's disappearance,
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