I really feel sorry for Ayanami.
In the new theatrical version, when Asuka and Ikari Shinji and Misato played together and ate and drank together, Rei Ayanari was swallowing painkillers alone in the ashes room. This girl cannot and will not express her inner feelings, not even when she says the opposite.
If you want to be good to Shinji, you can only learn to cook clumsily by yourself, with Band-Aids on her hands, twice as many as Asuka. She has never cooked a meal for herself before. In order to make Shinji happy to hold the party, he carefully invited Shinji's father. She knew Shinji and knew what he needed.
In the past ten years, Ayanami's life was as simple and dilapidated as her room. At a glance, there were rusty iron cabinets, a bed, garbage bags, no entertainment, no friends, no decent furniture, and no life. Her pretty face and student uniform are just a rough-printed wrapping paper that Ikari Gendu gave her.
As a replicator, she was domesticated and cultivated. She was shrouded in the conspiracy of the ambitious. She grew up in a liquid tank and an assigned dilapidated apartment. Even her memories had to be regularly backed up. There was no privacy, no friends, and no relatives. No one really cared about her except Ikari Yuandu who used her as a tool, no one taught her how to live, how to organize a room, how to make friends, never been loved, never cherished, and even if she was seriously injured, she would be pulled up to fight , it is too heavy to replace the body.
The only thing this girl could do at that time was to hold on to the broken glasses that Ikari Yuandu didn't want. That was her anchor in this world before she knew what love was, the source of her sense of security. And Ikari Yuandu's concern for her was so perfunctory that he didn't even take her to eat a serious meal.
"I can only stay in this small place." Before she met these peers, Li didn't even know that being used as a tool was an abnormal thing. She never felt wronged and unfair, because she had never felt wronged before. Know what a normal person's life is like. She doesn't know love or hate, she doesn't know emotions, she silently accepts everything that is imposed on her.
Will she be afraid, will she be sad, she will obviously be in pain, she will be afraid.
But these human emotions, Li has never really exposed, like cracks in the glacier, but people only see floating mountains.
The reason why the scales gradually tilted from Ikari Gendo, who was omnipotent and raised her like a father, to Ikari Shinji, who was cowardly, introverted and depressed, always wanted to escape, was precisely because she vaguely realized what was true. care about it.
In Li's gloomy life, it was the first time that she encountered Shinji's vague affection and curiosity towards her. It was like a ray of light was accidentally thrown into the dark world, and she stretched out her hand under the water and briefly grasped this simple and unpretentious object. Pure emotion, and then give everything for it. But before she even had time to feel a true love and see what true love looks like, the flames immediately burned her life to ashes.
The soul of the ancient god Lilith and the body of Ikari Yui were combined, not as a tool, but this teenage girl really existed. Replica No. 2, lives alone, is an EVA pilot, is always seriously injured, suffers from pneumonia, likes to read The Happy Prince, learns to cook hard, and has a crush on Shinji Ikari of the same age. Can't express feelings, but has been trying to be gentle. This girl is called Ayanami Rei, she came to this world, and then passed away like fireworks.
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