This is a class assignment, and after watching me trying to put Lizzie's behavior down to each specific reason, it's hard. (Part of the class notes)
Lizzie relieves her inner pain through a series of behaviors that destroy intimacy (this is common, but I think most people with mental illness prefer to establish good intimacy), my personal point of view is that the intention is not to destroy intimacy, but I don't know how to get love.
1. Mom
Lizzie's mother cried easily, did not respect her personal privacy, did not respect her decision, held a party to make her happy, condemned her if she was not happy, and entered Lizzie's room without knocking on the door.
My mother lived in a family with strong women, and my grandmother always thought Lizzie was a waste. Even if she went to Harvard and won an award, she would still say "what's wrong with her".
Mom was robbed, Lizzie went to see her at the hospital, Mom said - "you don't hava to be anything with me, you don't have to be well with me, you don't need to pretend"
One of the main reasons why teens commit suicide is that parents see their children as a tool for their success (at least a lot of kids would understand that), but I don't think Lizzie is being used as a tool, she's just not loved (I know , to ask their children to be parents' standards, and to use them as a tool to realize their dreams. This feeling of not being loved is very sad.).
2. Dad
Father is very important to Lizzie, but the role is missing, she fantasizes about his goodness and resents him. Unfulfilled expectations of her father's love, she vented on her mother.
3. Boyfriend
Telling my boyfriend that I have slept with someone else is a kind of lack of self-confidence. I have to test my boyfriend: if I do this, will I be forgiven, and will my boyfriend love me unconditionally. [I betrayed you both physically and mentally, do you still love me] - The expectations for the other party are very high, which also shows that she lacks it.
Boyfriend says "i love you" "why" (to ask why love me because of insecurity), "you are incredible"
Because the boyfriend has a mentally retarded sister, Lizzie asks him if he just enjoys the feeling of taking care of a deformed person (Lizzie), because he is not confident in himself.
Those who keep calling their lovers want them to act to make them feel loved, and then the other party will refuse to answer because of the annoyance. Gradually, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy that further damages their intimacy.
What kind of person would think that being in a relationship is bad enough to kill himself - because he needs the relationship, outside of which there is no other love for himself or an adequate support system.
4. Best friend
Say to your best friend that you don't know love, "all you know is sex"
rube said everyone has bad days
rube asked her: what hurt you to do this
rube tried to understand Lizzie and help her but gave up after being hurt
5. Psychologist
Lizzie said "i just want to be normal". In "educated", Tara said, "I kept telling myself that he (Sean, who treated Tara violently) had no influence on me, but in fact he was an influence." The disease itself is an influence.
"i don't know who i am anymore,i have personality,it's fuck up but that's me.""i see a person became act right things say right things,but it's not me " "i can't be this person without pills"
Understanding the client's feelings is an important ability for the counselor. Lizzie's suicidal behavior at the counseling clinic was an attack on the therapist as a way to prove the therapist was a failure.
The client projects other past events onto the therapist.
Our parents reject us the most, not because they don't love us, but because they don't understand us (and of course because we communicate the most). At the same time, we put more hope and understanding on the people we love the most, and of course there are more conflicts, but sometimes because of some emotions and behaviors, the anger of those who used to break out in on the consultant.
1) Want to control the counselor, because there are commonalities between counselors and parents - age, control over us.
2) The client thinks you are wrong and refuses to talk to you
3) The client has turned you into other people in your life who are hurting her. We need to be vigilant when the client influences us, because we also have a countertransference due to emotions, and then both parties become a continuation of the problem pattern
The counselor's actions to protect her daughter showed that the counselor was not as ruthless as he thought. The counselor is also a person with emotional isolation and countertransference [because when the client often wants to commit suicide, the counselor will actually take some more rational behaviors to achieve emotional isolation, so as to reduce stress] (at the beginning I think the consultant is too indifferent)
6. Confession - "i always wait for a moment that i can freedom" "all pills, counseling, fight, anger, guilt and suicide of thoughts, all of that are a part of some slow curing process, the same way i came down, i come back up, gradually and suddenlytly"
What makes me sad is that I can't see where the root of the problem is, there are problems everywhere. If there is a summary, I think I feel very distressed and don't know any way to save her, she doesn't know, the psychologist doesn't know, and the medicine doesn't know.
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