You seem to understand, but you don't seem to understand, in fact, so do I.
At that time, life was almost as simple as it had not yet begun, and we were used to finding answers from movies and novels. It is seen from the movie that death can overcome time, save the hero's twilight years, and the loss of beauty in old age. You can freeze life in the most beautiful moments.
"I want to die like a cherry blossom at the most splendid moment of my life."
"Farewell to youth, or die when it is in bud."
"She is dead, she will always be 17 years old. When we grow old and live on, she will die. Forever young and beautiful."
This monologue made my heart skip a beat. There is an inexplicable fascination with the image of death.
When the time came to the freshman year, at a night talk, I didn't know how to say it until death. Everyone joked about planning their ideal way to die. Some people said they laughed and died. Just when a few people were talking nonsense, Ale, who had been silent all the time, suddenly said word by word: You can talk about death like this because you think death is far away from you. (I remember every word clearly). After saying that, Ale burst into tears. I will never forget the silence that followed.
Later, we learned that Ale's father was accidentally electrocuted while repairing electrical appliances, not long before Ale's college entrance examination.
In my sophomore year, I experienced the first time my relatives left since I grew up.
Then a second time.
Death showed its power in my life.
Many ideas have changed. Life is different from movies, where death often serves to highlight other things: brutal youth, eternal love, men's friendship, brutal politics, the impermanence of fate, and so on. With the help of the sublimation of death, these themes can be satisfactorily interpreted, making you feel emotional and blood boiling, and you can't forget them. In life, however, there are more ordinary deaths.
As described in the movie Son's Room. Ordinary death is not to prove the cruelty of youth, or to sacrifice for love. Just dead, diving accident. There is no meaning other than ending a life and leaving the family in endless grief.
The film doesn't even have a story to tell. Just a peaceful description of a family's life before and after the unexpected death of their youngest son, the grief they fell into and out of.
When I watched the first half of the film, I was a little puzzled. Why did the director take the trouble to show the plot of his father counseling patients. Later, I realized that the first is to highlight the identity of a psychiatrist, because according to general logic, a psychiatrist should face death more easily than ordinary people. Adjust yourself and guide your wife and daughter out of grief. In fact, he was the most stubborn one. Afterwards, he went to the diving equipment counter to ask about how to use the equipment; he kept assuming what would happen if he did not visit the doctor but accompanied his son; as a child, he naively looked forward to going back in time... .
The second is the contrast with the son's death. The pen that used to be recorded quickly in the past is now quietly held in his hand and becomes a prop. The professional expression that used to listen carefully and stay out of the matter has now become free, dazed and sentimental. Once, because the patient mentioned the child, the father couldn’t help crying.
As written in the Norwegian Forest: "When you really face death, no matter what truth you know, you can't relieve the sorrow brought by the death of the one you love. No matter what philosophy, how sincere, how tough, No amount of tenderness can distract from this grief."
Death is definitely not as simple as I thought - a ritual like the finale, glorious, poignant. When the subtitles rise, life goes on. For the living, this is only the beginning of suffering. Don't expect to have memories to ease the sadness, the memories of that time will only highlight the blankness of the moment.
Faulkner wrote in his novel that men and women love each other deeply, the woman dies, someone brings poison to the man in prison, the man thinks for a long time, but does not eat, he thinks, she is dead, half of her memory is also gone. No, if I die too, all memories will be gone, between sadness and nothingness, I choose sadness.
The novel ends here. We are moved by this, because the man chose to live with sadness in his memories. The weight of the long and forbidding sadness will seep into his life like rainwater seeps into the land, every minute, every second; soaked in his body, blood and bone marrow . Painful, forever.
Man, save yourself. Romain Rolland said so.
If you don't want to live with sadness, the way to save yourself is not to forget. It is an open heart and the ability to give love.
A girl whom he met shortly before his son's death, an unknown girlfriend who has lost a possibility, sends a love letter to the grieving parents' hearts. The father wanted to reply to the girl's letter but didn't know how to write, so the mother couldn't help calling to explain everything.
When the girl makes a surprise visit, she brings pictures sent to her by her son, as well as her new boyfriend. Her father and mother received her with sour but still loving hearts. The girl planned to hitch a ride to France, so the family drove them to the border. It was late at night, and there was no car passing by for half a day. The father decided to send them another ride. In this way, the sleeping children have been sent to France. Early in the morning, they smiled goodbye.
At the border, my daughter wakes up and screams, what the hell have I been taken to by you? I still have basketball practice today! Father said good morning in French, and the whole family laughed. On an exotic seashore, they smile for the first time since their son's death. Life continues in the clear morning, with seagulls flying not far away.
"Faced with death, the only thing we can do is to break free from this sadness and comprehend some kind of philosophy..." I try to summarize what this film brings to me: death to the living The impact of life is so great, the lightness of life and the weight of grief, it is unbearable and must be endured. The selfless giving and love of an open heart may be the only way to break free from grief. However, the sentence is not over yet: "...and any philosophy after comprehension is so weak in the face of the unexpected sadness that follows."
…
It's a simple movie. And it has successfully turned simplicity into power.
What impressed me most is that the film describes the whole process of nailing the coffin when the relatives say goodbye to the body. It shows in detail every action and detail of the electric welding of the first layer of the coffin lid and the hammering of the nails on the second layer. The most sensational place has no flowers and no music. Only cold knocks and mournful weeping. From then on, life and death are separated. this is life.
Towards the end, the father went to the record store to find the CD that his son liked. A sad and pure English song rang out, and at the end the seagulls flew the song again. Although it's a bright ending, the music makes you feel that the sadness of the dead lurks in the air and will never die.
After a dark night, the images and music from the movie are still flashing in my mind. I suddenly remembered that distant afternoon, your question. So I want to write something.
Fortunately, the sun outside the window was so dazzling at this time, some heavy words were thrown out of sight, as if it was still far away from our life...
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