Worked up the courage to watch the last 2 episodes of "Queer as folk" and even though it was known before that Brian and Justin ended up breaking up, the only consolation to me was that their separation was so peaceful, even felt It makes sense that they could even announce to the crowd with a smile at their wedding rehearsal dinner: the wedding was canceled, without the upheaval of the first two. Maybe their fate was doomed from the day Brian brought Justin back to the attic for the first time. They weren't from the same world, they just met at a fork in the road. After all, they had to return to their respective tracks. live their original lives. Just when they were finally about to reach the end of their love, they suddenly discovered that they were both selfish people, they both loved each other in the past, not the current one who sacrificed himself for each other. The former Justin was young and frivolous, but they both loved the former Brian and the former Justin. The wedding is already in preparation, Justin named their new house Bri-tin, and Emt even went to the deep mountains in Sichuan, China to purchase golden gardenias, just because Justin said: This is a Chinese myth, and a lover will smell this flower. Love forever. Brian's love for him is hopeless, and after Babylon's explosion, he's a completely different person, no longer the Brian he used to be, the sexiest and hottest beast on Liberty Avenue.
Justin: What?
Brian: I said why don't you just lie still.
Justin: No, I heard you say the word "hug".
Brian: So what?
Justin: How? I've never heard you say that word, let alone you want to.
Brian: Okay, can you turn the lights off?
Justin: No. Brian Kinney is good at all kinds of sex skills, but never "cuddle".
Brian: OK, I use a word that irritates your nerves, forgive me, I won't say it again.
Justin: No, it's not just that. Every day we got married, the Brian I knew got further and further away from me.
Brian: I am here.
Justin: But it's not you. Look like you, feel like you, but you'll never, never go to the bachelor's last party and not be sexy, you won't like gardening but not interested in sex.
Brian: I'm just trying to make you happy.
Justin: I want you to be happy for yourself, not for me.
Brian: What about you? Yes, you are not going to New York anymore.
Justin: Fuck New York.
Brian: To conquer the art world.
Justin: Hell in the art world.
Brian: Why? because you are afraid?
Justin: I'm not afraid.
Brian: What's that for?
Justin: I don't want to go.
Brian: Bullshit.
Justin: I don't want to, it means nothing to me.
Brian: New York is nothing because of me.
Brian: I don't want to live with someone who sacrifices his life and calls it love.
Justin: Me too.
It was such a short story that made them cancel the wedding; it was such a simple reason that they gave up their 4 years of ups and downs and chose their own lives. The separation this time is not because they don't love each other anymore, but precisely because they both love each other too much and don't want the other party to sacrifice their lives for themselves. Brian turns into a docile beast, and Justin passes up a great opportunity to develop in New York. These are things they don't want to see and can't accept. So just when they were about to put rings on each other and make a promise in front of Crist: I do, they chose to give up, give up the marriage they had been yearning for, and give up this stubborn insistence despite all the ups and downs. love. I feel like the director made an April Fool's joke with us. In the previous episode, Brian said I love you and How about marry me, but in the next episode, while they were preparing for the wedding, Brian said They gave up on their weddings and their promise to stay together for a lifetime. At that moment, I could no longer express my feelings in words, I just felt that my heart was bleeding and my heart was aching. That kind of pain was unprecedented, unfamiliar, so painful that I couldn't shed tears.
Brian: What time is the flight?
Justin: Ten o'clock. I finally found a place to live. Daphne has a friend who lives in the East Village, but finding a place to work is difficult and expensive.
Brian: No problem, you're always in trouble.
Justin: I'll come back to see you and you'll see me too, we can see each other often.
Brian: You and I don't know, can't be sure, if we meet every other week, every month, or never. It's okay, it's just time.
Justin: You didn't return the (wedding ring)?
Brian: I didn't return it.
Justin: We don't need rings or vows to prove we love each other. You and I both understand this.
Brian: You did it.
Justin: What did it do?
Brian: Be the best gay you can be.
This is their last conversation. Justin chose to go to New York to develop his business, and Brian stayed in the same place, but he no longer went to bars and no longer had fun. He was always alone in that loft full of fond memories of his time with Justin, missing his lover. That kind of lost soul, that kind of downfall, that kind of sadness, that kind of loneliness, is the last thing I can bear to see. They merged their bodies one last time, but this time, Brian's strong possessiveness and Justin's shyness were gone, replaced by endless tenderness and deep love. The picture makes people not feel a trace of displeasure, but is infinitely moved. They kissed each other affectionately and hugged each other, because they both knew that this time they parted, they could not be sure when the next meeting would be, or whether they would never see each other again. Whether this night will be the last tenderness between them, will it be their farewell forever. Looking at the tears on their faces, my heart shrank again and again, I even felt like I was about to suffocate, the feeling of wanting to cry without tears really drove me crazy. I'd rather cry happily, but maybe it's not the deep heartache and regret. Looking back, Justin was so sunny, so innocent, and the excitement when he met Brian was hard to hide. Brian, the sexy beast, squandering his charm and seduction at will, never caring about Justin's truest love for him. They had quarrels, misunderstandings, partings, and sweet times. Remember the night Justin was injured, Brian had been watching over him in the hospital, and even for the next few months, he would stay outside Justin's ward every night without anyone knowing; The scarf stained with Justin's blood was wrapped around the innermost part of his clothes; he still remembered his loss after the surgery, thinking that Justin would dislike his imperfect self and rudely drove him away; he still remembered that he promised Justin to come home before 3 o'clock every night And the happiness on his face when he didn't do it a second time with anyone; remember the joy that flashed in his eyes when he saw Justin who was still safe in the ruins; remember when he held Justin tightly in his arms and whispered I love you softly in his ear; remember the sincere and warm eyes when he brought Justin to the new house to propose to him again; remember... There are too many memories, too many memories, and after all, this poignant love cannot be recovered. Would they have been together if Brian hadn't changed so much that Justin was a stranger, if Justin hadn't had a chance to develop in New York? We will never get the answer. But maybe the answer is still the same, because they don't want to make love a sacrifice.
You can't beat your ambition There's no perfect love in the world and everyone knows this Although you've given up your ambitions for something good, something new, or someone nice, we still lost to our ambitions There is no perfect love in the world but I still have hope in my heart that there is no perfect love for the prince and the prince Everyone knows this ambition to beat you and me and separate each other
In such lyrics, watching them blend with fire and water, the sadness spreads boundlessly. Perhaps such a tragic end was doomed from the start. When Brian realized that he had fallen in love with this kid 12 years his junior, he also realized that it was going to be a catastrophe. Domineering, he changed his way of life for Justin, changed his preferences, and even made Justin feel unfamiliar; Justin also gave up a lot because of him, such as the original quiet life and better development opportunities. So the love between them has become a sacrifice, which they don't want. So even if they walked into the auditorium and put on the ring as they wished, in the later life, the contradiction still exists. Instead of hurting each other again when the time comes, it's better to let go now and let the other party go back to the original life. This may be the highest state of love. I love Brian's wildness and the way he doesn't matter. Although he always refuses all opportunities to be loved and loved, whenever his friends are in trouble, he will always be there at a critical moment. Dropped from the sky to help them resolve the crisis. He didn't even want others to say thank you to him, but just gave it blindly. This sexy beast on Liberty Avenue flaunts his personality in his own way, flaunts his own mind, and no one can change him except Justin. He doesn't believe in love, he doesn't believe in marriage, and he never said: I love you. Until the explosion woke him up and made him realize that he was hopelessly in love with Justin, he finally whispered to him: I love you. Such a prodigal son never promises anyone easily, but once he says it, he means it seriously, so Justin is happy, and his waiting is finally rewarded by his lover. It's just that they are all sacrificing themselves to love each other, and this kind of love puts pressure on them, and this kind of love is unacceptable to them. So when they were about to reach the end, they still gave up, but it was so peaceful that they gave up, but it was painful. Their separation may not count as a breakup, because as Justin said: We don't need rings or vows to prove we love each other. Yes, their love is engraved in their hearts, and their love does not need to be proved, because their love has been tested and will never change.
Michael and Ben adopt Hunter, and their lives are finally stable again and move on like a Bliss train; Emt lets go of Drew because he knows the man is a kid in gay circles and he has to let him go Through the storm; Ted finally found true love, he and Blake finally have no scruples together; Mel and Lindsey left where they lived to go to Toronto, Canada - the city that legalizes gay marriage. Those who should go are gone, those who should stay are still staying, but things are different. At the beginning, they were happily in the noisy Babylon, looking for their own happiness, and now, the final picture is still in Babylon, but only Brain is dancing alone. That despair and loneliness filled his entire body. He went back to his old life, he was the same Brian he was, but now Brian doesn't have Justin by his side and his former friends, and he can only dance alone, dancing in a never-ending dance. This may be a fate.
Can't imagine how much this American drama has affected me, my life is full of him now. I feel like I'm living on Liberty Avenue, experiencing everything with the protagonists in it. But when I turned off the computer and returned to reality, I found that everything was just a dream. So I started to be unable to adapt to reality, and to be afraid of reality. I don't know what to do with myself, how would my life go on without Brian and Justin, without Michael and Ben, without Mel and Lindsey, without Emt and Ted, without hearing Deb's hearty laughter. Brian chose to run away from his old life to avoid thinking about Justin, so he was at home all day, even though Michael dragged him to Babylon, he still didn't dance, just wanted to run away. Until Michael said to him: You always be young, you always be beautiful, you are Brian Kinney. He seemed to realize who he was. He stepped onto the stage and started dancing, dancing to the music. Alone, he no longer exudes the confidence, domineering, glamour and sexiness that Brian once had, but loneliness and loneliness. Heartbreaking.
I'm not sure how long this American drama will affect me, maybe it will take time. But whether this time is long or short, I can't give my own answer. Everything is over, everything should end. I still have to go back to real life and face it all, even though I know I'll be thinking about sexy Brian, sunny Justin, cute Michael and others all the time, but so what.
It started with Michael telling everything about them, and it ended with Michael still telling everything: just like that, the music of the past goes on, it will always echo, no matter what happens, no matter who will be the President of the United States, just like our Disco
We'll still live as we sing in the song by Queen and music diva Gloria Caynor
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