There is a kind of girl who is smart, beautiful and capable, has super ability, has always been independent, and rarely asks for help. She is well-connected, has many friends and excellent conditions, but she is rarely seen in love. First, she has a high-sighted perspective, and second, she thinks she has enough ability to take care of herself. However, the most important reason is actually: She doesn't believe in love. I don't believe that love can last, and I'm not sure that I can get away safely when I'm in love. Instead of having to endure the sadness after love is broken, it's better to never have a good beginning. The heroine of the movie "No Strings Attached" (No Strings Attached) is a typical example of this. She and the Summer of 500 Days of Summer (愛夏五百日), and Love and Other The heroine of Drugs has the same principle: insist on maintaining the relationship between the two in the category of "like". I would rather maintain a sexual and loveless relationship with the male protagonist who sees each other than to put troublesome love into it. You can have sex, but you can't have love; you can have pleasure, but you can't have emotion. Therefore, they are accustomed to doing the opposite of ordinary people. The most intimate body in love becomes a safe place in their eyes, because the passion is only in a flash, after it passes, it passes. In the beginning of love, holding hands and kissing innocently became a behavior they deliberately avoided, because the tenderness often stays in the heart for a long time, thinking that it is over, but it can't be over. They believe that as long as they don't give up their hearts, everything can be under self-control. However, people who are more afraid of losing control are often the ones who are most likely to lose control. Because I'm afraid I'm too dependent on one person, I don't want anyone else. In the movie, the heroine tried to avoid the hero from entering her heart. He made a special CD for her, which she deliberately didn't want it to be. When her MC came, the two of them hugged until dawn and did nothing. When she woke up, she shouted hysterically: "It's worse to wear clothes than no clothes!" "This hilarious sentence faithfully reflects that she is gradually falling into love, and therefore she has a feeling of anxiety that is overwhelming! I don't want to lose control, but I am getting out of control; I don't want to love, but I love more and more. This is: love! I think of an excellent and beautiful friend. For many years, she has always been around for suitors, but she has never promised anyone’s pursuit. She has always been passionate about her friends, but as long as she finds that a friend who talks about everything becomes a suitor, she will Immediately resolutely draw a clear line with the other party. She always said that she did not have a strong desire for love. I believed it to be true before. After getting to know her, I realized that it was not that she did not need love, but that she was afraid that love would eventually break her heart and make her unable to recover. She is like the heroine in the movie. Once she decides to love, she will do everything, but at the same time as she does everything, the excessive emotions will also unconsciously scratch each other. She doesn't want to lose control of herself, so she prefers to keep a distance from love. Not loving, not not wanting to love, but not daring to love. As a result, I slowly understood: People who are not easy to love are often people with deep affection. It is precisely because of the deepest feelings that you must be careful in love and follow the same steps. I am afraid that if you do not pay attention, your heart will be broken in love. After that, it's hard to love. No love or no love does not affect the continuation of life, but affects the psychological feelings. As long as the feeling you like, your heart will not fluctuate sharply. Without the fluctuation of your heart, people will not suffer from gains and losses, and they will not be on the normal track. I think they are really scared It's actually myself. I am afraid of becoming hysterical under the endless friction during the process of love; I am afraid that once I surrender my sincerity, I will let the other person ask for what I want; I am afraid that I cannot bear the sad ending, and I gradually become wronged and seeking perfection; I am afraid that love is gone. From now on, the heart hollowed out in an instant is like the desolate situation of broken ruins. I can't bear the separation, so I can't be brave to love. I prefer to pretend to be chic and turn around and leave, thinking that I can be light without love, but I don't know that I am in love. I just say that I don't love. People who are the most difficult to be light and windy tend to say that the clouds are light and windy. The more she cares, the more indifferent, the more sad, and the more humorous she seems. Maybe she is really afraid of herself, who is weaker than anyone else and completely vulnerable after she is unarmed. Just like many years ago, she could not face the cruel facts of the death of her father, so she forced herself to become independent and let herself no longer depend on anyone. She thought that this was strength, but in fact, the true strength is to admit and bear. My own sadness, and believe that no matter how sad, the world can bear it. Family affection is like this, love is like this, so are all feelings in this world. If you don’t believe it, you will escape forever. I always think that instead of pretending to be happy, it is better to be really sad, because we can only live in a numb way if we face our own vulnerability and honestly need others. It’s not difficult to live. The difficult thing is to live with feelings of joy, anger, sorrow, and joy. Life is actually meaningless, but if you can deeply feel love and being loved in just a few decades, then, in the fleeting time, perhaps You can leave a long-lasting warmth. This is the meaningful life in my heart, and it is also the reason why the heroine finally bravely pursues love at the end of the movie. The few American movies that I watched recently coincided with "sex" first and then love. Although Eastern people's views on "love" and "sex" are not as open as Westerners, I always feel that whether it is love first and sex later, or Sex first and love second. For most people, sex and love are always inseparable. The only difference is the order difference caused by the difference in cognition. Just like most people think the "four steps of love", the order should be from first base to fourth base, and gradually progress to the stage of "love" with "like": holding hands, kissing, caressing, making love. However, "love" does not have any rules at all. In the movie, you go to third and fourth bases, then back to second and first bases, go to bed first and then date and hold hands. The result is still the oneness of sex, and the last thing left is: love! Perhaps in all intimacy, what subconsciously desires is the temperature of being close to people, including the real desires of physiology and psychology, no matter what kind of fit it is? Will gradually give birth to a subtle feeling, one day, be a bed partner If it is equated with love, love will show the most charming joy in the world, and connect each other's hearts with long-term warmth. Such a relationship will no longer be a bondage, but a beautiful bond. Of course, as long as there is love, it is inevitable that we will be hurt. If we are afraid of being hurt, we dare not love, what we miss will be the most brilliant fragments of life. I believe as much as the heroine’s mother: "This world can bear all your sadness. 』So don’t be afraid! Be brave to love before the end of the world! Originally published in:http://blog.sina.com.cn/aiyung
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