C.C. Baxter:
I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You think it's the end of the world - but it's not, really. I went through exactly the same thing myself.
Fran Kubelik:
You did?
C.C. Baxter:
Well, maybe not exactly - I tried to do it with a gun.
Fran Kubelik:
Over a girl?
C.C. Baxter:
Worse than that - She was the wife of my best friend. And I was mad for her, but I knew it was hopeless. So I decided to end it all. I went to a pawnshop and bought a forty-five automatic and drove up to Eden Park. Do you know Cincinnati?
Fran Kubelik:
No, I don't.
C.C. Baxter:
Anyway, I parked the car and loaded the gun... Well, you read in the papers all the time that people shoot themselves, but believe me, it's not that easy. I mean, how do you do it?
[cocks his finger, and points to his temple]
C.C. Baxter:
Here?
[points to his mouth]
C.C. Baxter:
Or here?
[points to his chest]
C.C. Baxter:
Or here? You know where I finally shot myself?
Fran Kubelik:
Where?
C.C. Baxter:
[indicating kneecap]
Here.
Fran Kubelik:
In the knee?
C.C. Baxter:
Uh-huh. While I was sitting there, trying to make my mind up, a cop stuck his head in the car, because I was illegally parked. So I started to hide the gun under the seat and it went off - pow!
Fran Kubelik:
[laughing]
That's terrible.
C.C. Baxter:
Yeah. Took me a year before I could bend my knee - but I got over the girl in three weeks. She still lives in Cincinnati, has four kids, gained twenty pounds. She sends me a fruit cake every Christmas.
