This article was first published on her film "Cinema from a Women's Perspective"
——————————————————
The addition of new members to the family is undoubtedly a sweet but definite burden for working women in the rising stage of their careers. Anyone who has ever been a mother knows that giving birth to a child will not only drag your body down, but also drain your energy completely. However, the heavy halo of "balancing family and career" is still hanging over women's heads, as if being a mother The three heads and six arms are what they should be.
What about the child's father? As the talk show "Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife" put it: "As long as he changes a diaper once in a while, everyone will spread flowers for him." -- no risk of delaying his career.
This is a good talk show, you can dig a lot of deep meaning from the hilarious elements of shit, urine and fart, although some native Chinese may feel a little uncomfortable with Huang Ali's bottomless rant. But to be honest, she did inspire me and made me want to do a local version of Tucao show: "Fuck you hot mom! 》
There is no other reason. Most Chinese treasure mothers sneer at the crown of "Iron Lady", but rush to the reputation of "Spicy Mom". After all, in traditional Chinese culture, in addition to taking the child well, the mother of the child must restore a loose body as soon as possible, remove freckles and wrinkles, and maintain the ovaries. Outsiders think it's your fault.
career pursuit? nonexistent. Chinese hot moms should not be too enterprising. Their most suitable occupations may be stable jobs within the system and micro-businesses. Before getting married, they counted their appearance, cup geometry, and education with their fingers, hoping to catch a golden tortoise-in-law and exchange their conditions to the greatest extent. Because of this, after getting married and having a baby, what they discussed in the WeChat group was not how to balance children and career, but how to lock up children and husbands. In the final analysis, Chinese husbands and children are essentially the same. As long as they don't pay attention for a moment, they will be hooked by the outside world.
Stop, it's a little farther. But isn't that the way young mothers face the world? You never know how many to-dos you'll face and how many big challenges you'll have to shoulder alone. The reputation of "being a mother is strong" and "great mother" is obtained, but no one helps at all! As for career, it's probably the least important item on your life list. Isn't it just for this reason that many companies do not recruit women?
In this way, Huang Ali is definitely an outlier. Whether in the United States on the other side of the ocean or in the homeland of Asia, she is an existence that cannot be classified.
Wearing her signature red frame, leopard-print dress, and gleaming gold flats, Ali Wong on stage looked like a pretty ordinary pregnant woman. The belly-packed comedian has given birth to another child in three years. She's not like other celebrity moms, like Ivanka Trump, who is always brightly basking, shuffling between work and family, or Sheryl Sandberg. Always in high spirits, one person is a team. But she, who looks sloppy, mourning, and violent, has indeed succeeded.
She has achieved a magnificent turnaround in three years. From the beginning, the tickets were hung on the American version of "Free Fish" (Groupon.com) and no one cared, to soaring all the way to $1,000 and being madly robbed. She can be described as a typical representative of the reverse wind . You know, that is the American comic dialogue industry dominated by straight white men. She is an Asian woman with a big belly, a non-mainstream in a non-mainstream - she just bloomed in the cracks of the rock.
There have been many wonderful discussions on the content of talk shows, I believe I do not need to repeat them. In fact, I am more willing to talk about the shining points of Huang Ali. What inspiration can this counter-attacker with dual niche identities (female, Asian) bring to women who want to forge ahead and overcome obstacles?
consciously output
A few days ago, I chatted with Mao Gongzi of her shadow to discuss what is the key to the success of contemporary women. Mao Mao said a word, I particularly agree. First , she says, is to be seen . And this process requires you to get rid of your shyness and consciously export your own values and attitudes. It is not until you are noticed by the outside world and discovered by key people that you take the first step.
Asian women, especially Chinese women whose virtues are not fighting, humility and decency, are always taught to be obedient in the process of socialization and should not show too much edge. Therefore , it is more difficult for young women to maintain self-awareness, while consciously exporting personal opinions, and learning to ignore negative external evaluations . This is a process of inverse growth, requiring you to spit out the poisonous milk and grow back scales.
In an interview with The Washington Post, Ali Huang mentioned that she attended an all-girls school, which was "an important part" of her life - "I don't have to worry about what the boys will think, it's all about unloading the burden. ." Huang Ali was not without emotion.
In the girls' school, girls are no longer the stares of their male classmates. Their body awareness, the budding of eroticism, the innate sensitivity and insecurity of women can all be discussed in the public space . Perhaps based on this growing background, she has developed the habit of being "outspoken" on stage. But at the same time, she is a special member of the girls' school-Asian identity, with a Vietnamese mother and a Chinese father. The inevitable cultural collision has provided a lot of fresh inspiration for later creations.
In this way, it is not to let everyone go to the girls' school for further studies... but to regain the right to speak that has been taken away by society. After all, apart from you, no one can represent your true demands.
Revisit your "weaknesses"
Speaking of this, do you remember Wang Ju, who is also from a girls' school? When responding to Wang Ju's confusion, that is, "Why is my strength not bad, but still not as popular as those players who are just beautiful", Ma Dong said: "The greatest degree of difference is the greatest degree of need. ." I thought so.
Huang Ali knew that she had a special status, but she did not deliberately smooth out her edges and corners and tried her best to blend in with the crowd. On the contrary, she is very good at using uniqueness to add points to herself. Netflix executive producer Brian Volk-Weiss commented on her: "I know exactly what Ali stands for... She's great, loves her job, and has a unique voice ." It's clear that being different is the biggest advantage, And her audience thinks so too.
When she was in college, Ali was "soaked" in the comedy club for a long time. After graduating, she also often performed in various clubs, and even created a record of nine shows in one night between 2009 and 2011. The eloquence and excellent typhoon on the stage are inseparable from years of repeated practice. Being an ethnic minority, she inevitably used ethnic jokes as a selling point at first, but she was not framed by this limitation when she stepped up to a higher level.
Since she was pregnant with her first child in 2016, Ali Huang was very worried that the baby would end her comedy career. She fell into thinking: Is there any way to make the child become a new starting point in her career, not the end? At this time, she made a major decision: to make fun of the pregnancy.
This decision became a major turning point in her career. On the show Ali Wong: Baby Cobra, Ali Wong made a big joke about her seven-month-old belly, mocking her own body, and mocking feminism, and the result was...a phenomenal response. This is something her male counterparts never expected and could not do. At this moment, Huang Ali seemed to jump on a rocket and soared into the sky.
After the birth of her eldest daughter, Huang Ali once told the media: "I discovered, and other mothers have gradually discovered that you don't have to obliterate the true part of your character in order to fulfill the image of a 'perfect mother'. You can always keep it original personality."
Looking at the trajectory of Huang Ali's life, you will find that she is actually a complete feminist, but she dares to say: "Feminism is the worst thing in history, because we used to have no work." She is already two The child's mother, however, exposed her past romantic affairs on the stage, and her special status does not hinder vulgar taste. This sense of contrast is like a clear stream, which not only surprises the audience, but also finds a reason to follow her.
Malcolm Gladwell pointed out in "Tipping Point: How to Make Popularity" that there are three elements to make popular: one is to make your information more concrete and visual, so as to have adhesion; the other is to make your information more influential The characters spread for you; the third is to use the scarcity effect to make your information more acceptable. I think these are reflected in Huang Ali's comedy. An Asian woman with a huge pregnant belly, according to common sense, should be gentle and kind, exuding the brilliance of motherhood, and will not be full of feces, urine, and filth, but Huang Ali has the courage to break the routine. The other half of the audience, the female audience, expressed their underappreciated voices and filled the market vacancy in time.
This is not only courage, but also a strategy, which is worth learning from creators in all cultural industries. To stand out from the crowd, you can't play by most of the rules, you have to take the edge and turn your disadvantage into an advantage in order to find a place for yourself. Of course, the premise is that you are really excellent, otherwise it is grandstanding to be different for the sake of being different.
Continuously hone professional ability
So put forward the last point (last but not least), you need to constantly temper your professional ability, so that you have a solid hard work . Even if you are questioned, you will not lose your self-confidence. This confidence will undoubtedly add luster to your career in turn. As long as you feel good, it will really get better.
Every person with firm will and clear head will find his own stage. For women, the key to winning in a world made for men may be not to obliterate their innate qualities. This is a strategic behavior, but first of all, you need to do a good job of psychological construction, that is: I am my own standard, there is no flaw, and there is no need to correct it.
Self-marketing is very necessary, very necessary, so you also need to overcome your unease, take a step forward, use your strength, and tell the world aloud your name. Once you've become irreplaceable, no one can question who you are - no matter how fringe your identity may be.
When it comes to success, in fact, this is a cruel thing, just like rowing against the current, either to advance rapidly, or to stagnate or even backward. The same goes for Vanity Fair, either stir it up and let it spring water; or stay away from it and let it be calm. If you don't go all out, you're actually inaction, especially for women who have been dominated and dominated for a long time.
So if you decide to take a step forward, you must first get rid of the weak mentality, use careful observation skills, and seize every opportunity to overtake at every corner. Just like Huang Ali, it was only after 11 years of working in this industry that she ushered in the first breakout point in her career.
When her light reaches our eyes, she has been burning for a long time, and will not stop for a moment.
References:
[1] Ali Wong's Radical Raunch: A comic and writer addresses the last taboo of female sexuality, Ariel Levy , The New Yorker, 2016. 10. 03
[2] 'Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife' Presents A New Gold Standard For Comedy, Andrew Husband, Forbes, 2018. 05. 14
[3] Meet Ali Wong, comedy's newest star, who filmed her breakthrough special while 30-some weeks pregnant, Jessica Goldstein, The Washington Post, 2016. 07. 23
View more about Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife reviews
