This isn't a movie review, it's my mom's diary
Sacramento is far away from Beijing, where I was born and raised. The story of Lady Bird and her mother in this unfamiliar city moved me in a mess in front of the screen. There are no ups and downs in life, no exaggerated characters, and no pretentious small fresh traces. This is a rare and sincere story of youth, mother and daughter and growth, a story dedicated to all the girls who once cried in their hearts to escape. their movies.
I don't have the habit of keeping a diary. The process of watching this film is like picking up the memory of growing up that I have almost forgotten in the past. I never left the district where I lived from kindergarten to graduating from university, let alone Beijing. Before going to university, I was almost confined to a small circle near my home. I remembered that going to Xidan was troublesome, and going to Xiangshan was like leaving Beijing. I often lie on my desk and stare out the window in a daze. It is the top floor of the residential building across the street, which has been converted into a pigeon house. Every day I see pigeons flying out in flocks and flying into the blue sky at that time, my heart begins to rip, I always think, if you finally fly out, don't come back. Regrettably, they returned to the cage obediently every night without exception.
The days at that time are really calm when I think about it now. I just go to school step by step, take exams, take vacations, and then go to school again. My relationship with my mother is generally stable. When I was young, I was disciplined a lot, so that when I was there with my mother, when other adults asked me questions, I couldn't help but watch my mother's eyes first. However, once my mother found out, she glared at me and said, look at me. At that time, I was very aggrieved but didn't know how to deal with it. This happened to me when I was about 5 or 6 years old, and that image has been etched in my mind. My sensitive self-esteem may have planted the seeds of rebellion ever since. I began to be reluctant to let my parents control my thoughts, and I gradually learned to obey on the surface, but in fact I didn't care. So the mother-daughter struggle began quietly. My mother didn't like my taste in clothes. She once put on my new shorts and told me how short they were. She removed the yellow embroidery on my black trousers, so they became regular black trousers. She was furious when she saw me listening to my new tapes before the exam, and I threw away the tapes I hadn't had time to listen to. My mother always praised her friend's daughter in front of me. I never saw her from beginning to end, but there was always a huge shadow of her in my childhood. I dislike my mother's control of me in trivial matters. I feel that studying is to avoid being scolded by my mother, so whenever I have the opportunity, I secretly watch TV, listen to the radio, read comics, and read a lot of books. I was too lazy to argue with my mother, so I kept the world I aspired to to myself. As soon as I arrived in the winter in Beijing, my mood was very gloomy, but I comforted myself in my heart that I would definitely leave here and go to a completely free world. I am pretentious at heart, and I also have a Lady Bird in my heart.
It was only after I went to college that I found out that Beijing is actually very interesting. When I saw Lady Bird driving around the city for the first time, the joy was like the first time I made a subway to Haidian by myself. Suddenly I realized that I had never paid attention to those streets. Pedestrians are so lively and interesting. Youth is the self. I used to be confined to my inner circle and feel sorry for myself. Later, I realized that what you yearn for may be around you. What really binds you is your heart, not a city. Beijing has become very big and rich again. My mother seemed to let go of me all of a sudden, and I began to seriously think about my future life, and I began to calm down and study hard. I gradually fell in love with that kind of life. Later, I went to the United States to study and stay to work and live. I came into contact with many different people. I began to understand the stories of them and their parents, and I gradually realized how amazing my mother was. She never disciplined me only on my living habits, but never imposed a specific life plan on me. She borrowed Jane Eyre from the library for me, she introduced many beautiful women to me, she protected my childish inner self-righteousness, she never attacked my unrealistic delusions, the free mind I wanted, I always had it, and in the end she made me grow into someone who could choose what I wanted to live with. When I grew up and every time I told my mother about my decision, my mother always said, I feel good. I think my mother's only expectation for me is to have a strong and independent soul to face the unknown world. She is very smart, she broke such a big truth into ordinary life. In my struggles with her again and again, she passed on the best version of me she wanted, and I gradually reconciled with her and myself during these years of struggle, and continued to find a better me on this road. I talked to her last week, and she said, I don't think you should work too hard, so I laughed, and I said you don't look at who cultivated my character.
Mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, these timeless topics create so many unforgettable movies. I like Lady Bird because it's so ordinary. The clip of complaining about my daughter's walking posture in the store, I really smiled knowingly, I think many girls can laugh, it reminds me of my mother, she once didn't like me talking in long voices. Mothers are very nagging, because only they can observe your life in detail, guess your heart, hope to give you the best, and hope that you can love yourself as she loves you.
As I write this, I start thinking about my mother.
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