"Please call me by your name" is a film highly recommended by my good friends. To be honest, I watched it as a scenery film. It is always sunny, the grass, the court, the swimming pool in the sun, the dining table in the yard, Riding a bicycle and calling friends for a ride, the hero lives in paradise. Since the attention is all on the good life of the people in the play, as for the plot, it is not infiltrated at all, maybe it is not very attentive, and most of the emotional turbulence between men and women cannot be obtained. My friend patiently helped me sort out and explain many details from the perspective of being gay, but I still don't feel it.
I thought about it and said frankly to my friends: One thing that makes me unhappy about this film is that the girl who was used as a test or cannon fodder, she is innocent, and she should not have been hurt. I don't know if female cannon fodder is the standard for basic romance films. There is also such a character in "Brokeback Mountain". The wife of one of the male protagonists was married, cheated, and then divorced. I remember there was a scene where she was She cried and confided the hurt her ex-husband had done to her in that marriage, and vented her anger, grievance and resentment to the fullest. I was watching the film with a friend, and he was dismissive of the wife's accusations and unabashedly expressing his disgust. This also made me very uncomfortable at the time.
Whether it's "Call Me by Your Name" or "Brokeback Mountain", these two female characters were deceived and used without any fault, however, from the protagonist's point of view, their pain is not Worth mentioning. Even in "Please call me by your name", the girl finally took the initiative to show her goodwill to the male protagonist who hurt her, and also expressed her desire to be friends forever. I don't know if she already knew the boy's sexual orientation at that time, but I think the girl's cuteness and kindness are far more beautiful than the love in the film.
Many years ago, my friend and I tried to discuss this issue, but ended up breaking up, even briefly.
One of my friend's boyfriend is a conservative Chaoshan man. He has a blind date under the arrangement of his family and is about to get married. When we talked about this, I was very angry, I thought this man was very shameless, I even said to my friends "don't let me know who he is, or I will definitely post and screw up his marriage!" Friends think I can't Li Yu, he believes that gay marriage is a matter of course, but also a forced choice, there is nothing to blame.
At that time, we were both very young, we were very aggressive, we would talk harshly at every turn, we were equally stubborn, we liked to go to extremes, and if we disagreed, we would get into trouble.
After many years, we can finally discuss this contradiction again in a calm and friendly manner.
Friends think that it is boring for me to understand a movie by substituting the victim of a supporting role for me. After all, the plot serves the protagonist.
I told him that in "Lan Yu", Chen Handong was also married, but I didn't play because of it. I remember that Chen Handong and his wife were seriously just a marriage of interests, probably because the film did not describe their emotional scene, and his wife appeared as a strong woman in the business world, whether in terms of interests or feelings , did not suffer any obvious damage and loss (the general impression of the plot is so, I can't remember the specific). And the "female cannon fodder" in "Brokeback Mountain" and "Please Call Me by Your Name" are all sincerely devoted to the relationship with the male protagonist, and were hurt without knowing it. Most importantly, this kind of harm is completely avoidable and completely unnecessary in my opinion. (emphasize)
The point we argued back then was that my friends believed that gay men actually passed on part of the harm society inflicted on them to women, and they were also victims, but I don't think so. There is also the factor that I "stand and talk without back pain". As a heterosexual, I cannot personally feel the social pressure faced by gays. I simply think there is nothing wrong with being single all my life. If you are afraid of being hurt and want to hide your sexual orientation, it is not difficult. Even if you really want to find a humanoid marriage to reduce stress, there are many flexible ways to deal with it. For example, I once pretended to be a friend's girlfriend to go back to his hometown with him and help him deal with his family. In short, you should never hurt a stranger.
Years have passed, and now it's time for us to discuss this issue again. The friend found a lifelong partner. The two came out to their respective families, and have been living together for several years. They bought a house this year, and the second half of their life is settled.
One point I want to mention is that my friend's mother is an uneducated rural old lady. She can't speak Mandarin, can't read, and can't even recognize ten Arabic numerals. For her love for her son, she bravely accepted his son's sexual orientation and accepted his son to bring his boyfriend back to the countryside for Chinese New Year. Does it sound incredible? However it did happen. Therefore, how to say, not hurting others, not hurting yourself, and having happiness, sounds difficult, but it is not as difficult as imagined.
As a result, the friend's position is not rigid enough, and our discussions don't need to be as tense as in the past. Finally, we can barely reach a consensus. Even in heterosexuality, there is a lot of scum who deliberately deceives and plays with other people's feelings. Aside from the sexual orientation factor, if the protagonist in the film is heterosexual, it is not advisable to use a girl's feelings as a substitute or a test product.
Friends say that when almost every gay realizes their sexual orientation, a panic will arise in their hearts, because it means that life will enter hard mode. So many people will rush to find and verify an exact answer. The behavior of the male protagonist in the movie can also be explained in the same way.
Well, I can only weakly hope that everyone will not undergo such a test, whether men or women.
View more about Call Me by Your Name reviews
