I watched this movie in a private cinema in Chengdu. There was something wrong with the subtitles at the beginning, and they couldn't be displayed. I saw Miss Bird jump out of the car and watched it many times.
I wasn't a big fan of these kind of gloomy coming-of-age movies, Gosling's Blade Runner is on the bottom left of Miss Bird's page, but when I saw this redhead (god knows how much I like her hair color) When the young girl opened the door viciously and jumped out of the car full of mother's vicious words, I felt that even without the subtitles, I would have to endure it and watch it.
Her eyes were so fierce as she jumped, and her mother's words were so harsh and so familiar to me.
- What you can't do, whether it's getting into a college on the east coast, getting a job, or whatever. You can't even get a driver's license.
- You only care about yourself and never care about others, Christine.
I wonder if mothers all over the world have highly similar vocabulary when they swear at people. They will be furious at the incompetence or laziness of their children or just trivial things, and classify such behavior as selfish, Unfilial, arrogant and incompetent, etc., and then sneered and cursed one by one.
Those words that may be the most vicious in the world come from people who are supposed to be the closest to you in this world.
Miss Bird, holding back tears, angrily jumped out of the speeding car.
And I, on Christmas Eve a few days ago, wiped a handful of tears and rushed out the door in the middle of the night in the foggy city.
Why is it that you are my mother, the one who should understand me best, yet you call me incompetent, trash, unable to do anything? Why can't you support me, encourage me, or talk to me calmly about what we think about each other? Why, why, we have been together for a long time, but when we are in the same room, we still do our best to hurt each other? I am not selfish, I am not a selfish person, I want to share your worries for you, I know the burden of the family, and I also want to contribute.
What I want to say is always hot in my heart, and it turns into an icy knife as soon as I say it, and because I know all the weaknesses of the other party like the back of my hand, every sentence goes straight to the point.
Miss Bird's mother said, do you know how much you cost us?
My mother said that the tuition fee for the next semester should be figured out by myself, and don't think about taking another penny from me.
When we grow up and have our own minds, when all the slander, name-calling, and cursing are of little use, the money connection can still allow parents to maintain their authority.
We are not your property.
- how much it cost, tell me, please tell me, I will pay you back later, so, so,
So please don't say anything like that again, so please set me free.
Every shot of mother and daughter getting along in this movie silently shouted to me outside the screen: You too! It's very painful, run away from them!
- Mom, can't you praise me?
Miss Bird put on that very nice pink dress, but her mother still looked disgusted and felt that nothing was good. And me, I try to do what I'm supposed to do.
Can you compliment me?
When I came home from winter vacation, I didn’t find the key my mother gave me for a while. She was so angry that she threw her bag and yelled at me: How can I have a useless daughter like you, don’t go to school until you find the key . I didn't put the dishes away when I was washing them, she didn't even look at me, and she sneered again. I retorted, eloquent and arguing. She couldn't say anything about me, so she pressed me with unfilial and disrespectful parents. In the end, like pouring out all the negative emotions, I used the unbearable nouns and adjectives without thinking. The high-pitched voice cursed.
I hid in the room, the lock of the room could not be turned, just like no matter how much I covered my ears, those words could still get into my ears hilariously through the gaps, like the whispers of ghosts.
- I scold you for your own good.
But what if this is the best version of me? What if this is the best version?
I wanted to cry, but I didn't, I just grabbed the hem of my clothes. I don't have the courage to say this to my mother, mine is terrible, I know, but I can't change it now. This kind of me, the worse me, the me who can't make you proud, is it that you can't accept it. But what if I can't get better.
The lack of self-confidence and identity, the unanswered expectation and the desire for continuous growth, who has been looking forward and forgot to look back, who is stuck in place and longing to be rescued. And because they are the closest blood relatives, they are also arrogant and arrogant, and they will never look back, so they cannot admit their mistakes, cannot forgive them, and care about every injury.
So there is no going back to the old days.
When I left home, I almost missed the plane. I dropped my luggage and ran to the check-in counter. My mother picked up my luggage for me and trotted after me. She was wearing high heels, and she ran carefully with every step, I heard the sound of "da da" and looked back to see her breathlessly stopped in front of me and handed my luggage to me.
She said, do you know how to check in? Do you know which gate to board? Is it in time?
It seems that I am still the little girl who relies on her for everything, but it seems that I am really still that little girl, and I have always made mistakes, confused, can’t do anything well, fragile and sensitive, and can’t stand any criticism. .
can you hug me
Can you compliment me?
Can you not be so cruel?
I remember when I was a freshman in high school, I was beaten to pieces in the so-called top class, and when I went back every weekend and cried under the quilt, she still scolded me for being useless, crying for such a trivial matter, and I just didn’t work hard. . I'm getting angry and yelling at her, can't you comfort me?
She froze for a moment, grabbed me out of the quilt a little stiffly, and hugged me. We are rarely close, even watching TV, not sitting on the same sofa. And that time, she hugged me stiffly and said, come on next time.
I burst into tears, snot and tears, and her shoulders were wet, I grabbed her clothes on the back and cried out of breath.
And now, I took the luggage that she handed over, and the words were stuck in my throat for a long time, and after all, I couldn't say it.
I said, I'm leaving.
She stood up straight, still as good-looking as ever, and she said, um.
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