I went to the doctor and said, "I have ringing in my ears".
The doctor said to me, "Although tinnitus is a life-long incurable disease, it won't kill you. Once you get used to it, it won't bother you anymore."
It's like, I find someone and say to him, "I feel lonely."
That person will also probably say, "Loneliness is not a disease, it will accompany you all your life, but it will not cause you to die. As long as you get used to it, it will not bother you anymore."
But what if I just can't get used to the quieter and louder my ears?
In fact, children will remember childhood things very clearly, like J remembering the breakfast before his mother committed suicide, like A remembering the playful eyes of his stepfather.
In fact, children also like to touch the skin of the person they like very much. For example, J found himself eager to touch A's fingertips, like A was wearing his biological father's weird baggy jacket all the time.
In fact, children are not good at apologizing. For example, J will only clumsily grab a few flowers and hold them in front of her chest to apologize to the girl. For example, A knows that she shouldn't lose her temper casually, but she doesn't know how to say sorry.
Well, also, children are actually afraid of being weird because they don't know how to deal with it. Just like J always thought he was a classic psychopathe, like A thought he had the specialty of annoying anyone.
Did you find it? Not really little kids, it seems like some adults too, like...
All the people who love The end of the f**k world.
The other day, I learned a word, cosmic boredom.
With this theory, it seems that everything in the human world can be meaningless, just a means to kill time.
Interesting, the word, at least got me out of the cosmic boredom for a second.
We taunt everything, but in the end it's to stop taunting, because taunting is used too much and it's boring.
People who are not comfortable with being bored say to others, "This world is a shithole, everyone seems so boring but pretends happy."
99% of the responses you get are, "So what? After all, everyone is doing the same thing. We have to live, anyway."
See, that is why we want to escape from boredom to sth meaningful.
But the other 1% is that we'll meet that person and dance with him to the music with our eyes closed.
do you believe it? I believe.
After all, in this crazy world, a psychopathe who wants to kill another girl will completely fall in love with her after 48 hours and sacrifice all of herself to protect her.
For what?
Well, maybe it's about throwing af**king finger at this f**king world.
I'm human, I have feelings, and I can't pretend that I feel everything in this world, including tinnitus, including loneliness, including boredom, including all my passions.
Isn't that crazy enough?
So, when you find someone and say, "I'm so lonely!", he'll say, "I'll play music for you!"
I said, "I'm so bored!" He said, "Can I read you the book I've read recently?"
I said, "I love being with you!" And he would say, "Would you like to go dancing, tango".
Then don't doubt it, that person is not an indifferent person, but a lover.
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