You can't always get what you want,
But if you try sometime,
You might find,
You'll get what you need
Beautiful seaside scenery, rolling blue waves hitting the cliffs, spacious, bright and well-designed sea-view villas, and middle-class elites of handsome men and beautiful women. With the theme song of "cold little heart", the episode starts slowly.
In this seaside town of Monterey, people are gentle and polite on the surface, but they are actually hidden. It seems to be all kinds of trivial things in life, but it can't hide the confrontation and disputes. None of the women care if they anger others, and no one is easy to get along with. Maybe this is life itself. The drama shows us a picture of middle-class life.
************There are spoilers in the text, please be prepared to watch ************
Celeste is a noble and beautiful professional elite who used to be a partner of a law firm. He met the tall and handsome Perry, fell in love, returned to the family as a housewife, and had a pair of lovely twins. This is a pair of extremely beautiful people, and on the surface they are extremely intimate and envious of others. In fact, her husband Perry has a strong desire to control, and once the intention is dissatisfied, he will resort to violence.
Unlike the middle-class elite here, Jane, a young single mother, has a painful psychological trauma of being raped. She came here with her son Ziggy, who was raped and gave birth to her son, hoping to start a new life. She loves Ziggy very much, and worries that he will inherit the genes of a rapist and become an abuser too. She was constantly in this complicated worry. She tried her best to give Ziggy enough love and trust, and buried her troubles in her heart. In the face of school girls accusing Ziggy of violence, she also stood by her son. Under her loving care, the younger son became a gentle, intelligent and lovable child. On the other hand, Jane couldn't get rid of the pain of being raped. She suffered that she was weak and did not resist. She was full of resentment towards the abuser, and fantasized countless times that she could kill the abuser.
Madeline is the most complicated and difficult to describe woman here. She is a woman who is always in a state of struggle, talkative, alert, passionate, compassionate and righteous. According to her husband's description, she has the characteristics of being attracted to people who have been injured.
Madeline's combative personality is something to appreciate. And I think she is the most suitable housewife in this era. But even then Madeline has a lot of troubles. Her overpowering has also caused her family members to resist her. Such as the deterioration of the relationship with the eldest daughter; her cheating. These troubles reflect her inner anxiety, a pursuit of career and passion, and the impact of traditional family values.
Her husband Ed is indeed the best person for her. Every time I watch Madeline and Ed talking and arguing, I can feel Ed's deep understanding of her, Ed's gentleness and rationality, which is like a mirror for Madeline, seeing myself clearly and comforting my heart. But Madeline always hurt him inadvertently.
This is another Desperate Housewives genre series. Focusing on women's topics, discuss women's marriage and family troubles. But what struck me the most was the depiction of violence against women .
I once understood that violence mostly occurs in families with lower education levels. One is the original manifestation of the husband's incompetence; the other is that the wife does not know how to resist and escape. But here, I feel that violence against women can be everywhere.
Celeste in the play is a Kochi woman. Husband Perry is also a senior white-collar worker. Perry's violence hides deep. He was tall, handsome and polite. Dutifully caring for the child, pampering Celeste. Perry's violence begins with violence and ends with passionate sex. Although Celeste is mentally uncomfortable, he just thinks it is Perry's slightly twisted love. View violence as a manifestation of intense sex. Until the psychoanalyst pulled out the bloody truth layer by layer.
Celeste believes that a common problem with violent couples, because he also participated in the violence and beat Perry. And deceive themselves into thinking that both are attracted to violence, as if there is no way to be sexually interesting without violence.
When the analyst rhetorically asks, is every time you hit Perry you hit back? Do you feel like you're going to die in the process of being violent?
Celeste was silent at this time, but still felt that it was only a small problem in the husband and wife, and this small problem should not deny other good things.
However, as analysts say, Perry's violence continues to escalate. Celeste finally found out that she knew she was suffering from domestic violence, but was ashamed to admit that she was the victim.
The process of the analyst peeling the cocoon layer by layer also surprised the audience. Hidden violence can actually exist so naturally in life. It is not the escape that is difficult, but the Stockholm mentality of the victim, who suffers without knowing it. The whole process was shocking to watch.
There are 10,000 solutions to violence, but initial identification is the hardest.
"He was only emotional for a while; he was a good husband and a good father; I couldn't ignore all the good things between us"... All kinds of cover up, but it was inevitable that domestic violence happened again and again and gradually escalated.
Where do men's violent tendencies come from?
At about the age of thirteen, boys develop a real awareness of violence, their aggression, their will to power, their interest in challenge... The man feels the will of his own in his fist, enough to make him Feeling supremely certain about yourself. Against all offenses, all attempts to compress him into a thing, the male resorts to blows and shows: he does not allow himself to be surpassed by others, he wants to be at the center of subjectivity. (Beauvoir)
Sometimes we think that male violence is the root of all evil, but this raw fire of violence is the beginning of aggression, a sense of entitlement, and the challenge of exploration.
Progress in society has given people more civilized ways to transform violence into other ways of exploring, challenging and conquering. But many men are still unable to transform the raw fire of violence deep inside.
Why are women so often the victims of violence?
Just as men drive the individual's subjective consciousness through violent consciousness in the process of growing up, so that the individual tends to attack, challenge, and conquer; while women gradually give up their violent consciousness and accept their physiologically weak position. Therefore, vulnerable women are easily targeted by men.
She endured it blindly; the world didn't need her to make up its own mind, and it had the same face. This physical incapacity manifests itself in a more general timidity: she does not believe in powers her body has not experienced, she dares not act, resist, create: she is doomed to obey, to endure, only to accept a ready-made place in society . She believes that the order of things is given. ...especially a challenging attitude that is so important in young people, they know almost nothing about it...she is especially not allowed to commit violence. (Beauvoir)
So how can vulnerable groups such as women fight back?
Violence is an inescapable topic of feminism. On the one hand, it comes from the physical weakness of women and the social domestication of objects after growth; on the other hand, it is the inevitability of the original expression of men.
In "big little lies" we see Jane, who has been violently injured, buys a gun and keeps practicing. Jane, who owns the gun, feels that she has become stronger and her heart has been healed a lot. After a woman is subjected to violence, she will find herself in a vulnerable position and feel powerless as a person. This situation can be a blow to the whole person, and all previous confidence has been destroyed.
Constantly strengthening herself is what Jane insists on in the pain, and buying a gun is a more direct method.
Celeste was enshrined as a goddess and family dominance after being raped by Perry. This made Celeste not admit that she had been raped until the analyst reminded her that every time she was dominant after being raped, and soon Perry was raped again and regained her dominance. Celeste emerges from the confusion with the help of an analyst. Take the initiative to seek outside help when you are distressed and confused.
Madeline is the toughest of the three women. Although it is a bit annoying on the surface, I think it is the type that has evolved better among women. I really envy Madeline's character. She is the link between several women in different encounters in the play. Whether it is a heart-to-heart or a scheming, Madeline's enthusiastic and righteousness makes the women gradually break away from their lonely inner world and start interacting (even fighting each other).
In the end, whether it is good or bad, women suddenly come together in tacit understanding in the face of violence from the male world, fight together, and keep secrets together.
It fits the female theme of women help wowen that we often say.
Yes , women need to stand together to face the plight of women.
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