helpless nostalgia

Jedidiah 2022-03-24 09:01:22

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" returns to the warm line! In the fifth film of the series, the plot design and characters have been completely hollowed out, with no new ideas, no breakthroughs, and completely old-fashioned. The special effects are even more mediocre and pitiful, and the 3D effect is basically absent. I can only use sentimental stalks to increase popularity. The only hilarious point in the whole film is Keira Knightley's affectionate kiss with the Elf Prince! It feels like it's time for this series to end! ps: If you haven't watched the first four, I suggest you don't watch this one!

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Extended Reading

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales quotes

  • Captain Jack Sparrow: Who are you?

    Henry: My name is Henry Turner. Son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.

    Captain Jack Sparrow: Ewww. You're the evil spawn of them two.

    [pause]

    Captain Jack Sparrow: Does mummy ever ask about me?

    Henry: No.

    Captain Jack Sparrow: Oh go on. She call my name in her sleep?

    Henry: She never spoke of you.

    Captain Jack Sparrow: Are you sure we're talking about the same people? He's a cursed eunuch. She's golden-haired, stubborn, pouty lips, neck like a giraffe, and two of those wonderful...

    Henry: Yes! Yes, it's her.

  • Henry: [whispers into a jail cell] I need to speak with you.

    Captain Jack Sparrow: [attacks Henry from behind, holding him against the cell door] Hand me your sword.

    Henry: I don't have a sword.

    Captain Jack Sparrow: What kind of soldier has no weapon?

    Henry: I'm currently wanted for treason.

    Captain Jack Sparrow: So not the very good kind then?

    Henry: I'm looking for a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow?

    Captain Jack Sparrow: [let's go of Henry] Well today's your lucky day. Because I just happen to be Captain Jack Sparrow.

    Henry: [in disbelief] No, it can't be. I've spent years searching for... this. The great Jack Sparrow is not some drunk in a cell. Do you even have a ship? A crew... pants?

    Captain Jack Sparrow: A great pirate does not require such intricacies.

    Henry: Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment? The risks I've taken to be here? Are you sure you're *the* Jack Sparrow?

    Captain Jack Sparrow: The real question is, who are you?