The one who is "for you"
Text / Sofia
This article was first published on the author's WeChat public account: Years are silent but eternal
Actually this is just an opinion. I feel that for this movie, I finally understand why in the film and television industry, actors on the big screen are considered better than those on the small screen. indeed so.
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At the end of last year, when "Operation Mekong" was released, there was a saying that was particularly popular. "The reason why you can't see the darkness is not because there is no darkness in this world. It's because someone has tried their best to block the darkness from where you can't see it." Today, read "Wrestling!" "Dad", I suddenly remembered this sentence.
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To be honest, at the beginning of the film, when my father forced his two daughters to learn wrestling in order to realize his dream of becoming a world champion, the human rights thought that had been immersed in my body for more than ten or twenty years immediately popped up: As a father, you Have you considered the feelings of your daughters and have you respected their wishes? Or do you just treat them as puppets and slaves that you can control? They cannot have their own thoughts, they cannot have their own will, they cannot make their own choices freely.
But as soon as the thought came up, I thought of myself.
I was born in a small town in northern Jiangsu, where people see reading as the only way to change their destiny and realize the carp jumping from the dragon gate. Therefore, my peers and I have not learned any talents from childhood to adolescence. The only requirement of parents and teachers is to study hard.
As a scholar, before I went to college, I never thought there was anything wrong with myself, because of my good grades, I have always been envied by others. However, when I walked out of the small town and came to Beijing to go to university, everything was different. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't speak Mandarin, I can't do sports, I'm not good at all except that I look pretty and can write well. When integrating into the collective life, there is a sense of loss from being a star character to being a Miss Wallflower. Accompanying this is a deep sense of inferiority.
Therefore, when my son wanted to learn talent, I gave him two subjects, one was piano and the other was painting. The purpose of learning the piano is to let him show his talents before others, and to avoid the inferiority complex that I had in the past; learning to paint is to let others have a way of expressing their emotions later.
In fact, it was his own request to learn piano and painting at first. Because almost every child in the kindergarten class is learning the piano, he also wanted to learn it, but I forced him to delay it for half a year. I said to him: "Learning the piano is about perseverance. You have to think about it yourself. Once you really learn it, I will not agree with you to give up halfway." In the past six months, he has been expressing that he has thought clearly. , Make up your mind.
As the difficulty of playing the repertoire deepened, he really regretted it. He was going to give up, but I didn't agree. At this time, I played the role of a bad mother, forcing him to keep practicing the piano.
In fact, my own thinking has changed a bit by this time. In this place in Haidian, every child is multi-talented, and he has learned more than one or two talents. He is a generalist. Don't know the piano? OK, it doesn't matter, we are good at football, basketball, table tennis. Can't play ball chess? OK, it doesn't matter, we can dance and sing. can not swim? Oh, that's simply impossible. So, I don't expect my son to rely on the piano to show himself in front of others in the future.
However, at this time, the reason why I chose to play the role of the bad mother is because I want him to learn to persevere and not to give up. Don't give up easily just because it's difficult for you. At this time, it is no longer a struggle to learn talent or not, but a battle to shape a child's character.
In fact, every child will have back and forth. Without boasting in the slightest, my son still has some talent for drawing, and he likes drawing very, very much himself. As a result, after learning to draw for more than two years, he also got tired of drawing. At this time, I played the role of the bad mother again, forcing the child to persist. After about two months, he consciously began to paint again, and he resumed his original love. Also deeply regret.
In fact, children, especially underage children who have not yet developed their minds, often do not have enough ability to judge what they want, why they choose this, and what effect this choice will have in the future...even, there are Sometimes, even as adults, we don't know what we want. At this time, we need a person who truly loves us, considers us, and has the ability to make decisions for us to pull us and push us on the right path. This process may not be gentle, on the contrary, it is arrogant and domineering. However, a few years later, when you look back, you may be truly grateful to that person for ignoring your free will and forcing you to make choices that you were unwilling to do at the time.
Like Wrestling! In "Dad", the little bride of the same age told the two sisters that she wished to have a father like this, a father who considers her, a father who can provide her with another choice in the future, rather than let her be born. A father who is destined to be in the company of pots and pans, and only knows how to marry and teach children.
The two sisters had an epiphany at that moment.
When I reported my children to art classes, I had seen many people's remarks. Generally speaking, almost none of the speakers who grew up resented their parents for forcing them to sacrifice playtime to practice the piano. On the contrary, in addition to thanking their parents for their persecution, they resented why their parents did not force them to practice the piano. Bundle.
I think most of the audience in the movie theater were relieved when the little bride said "begging and not getting".
Not only in the matter of studying art, but in all aspects of life, even if our minds are mature enough, we cannot be omnipotent, and it is inevitable that we will be confused. Did you get up after a fall, and grope in failure? Or is there someone who can give us a hand and save us from falling? Who will you be grateful for?
Why in the girl's world, domineering president models are always particularly popular? It's because the pink heart has not grown up yet, and I hope that someone who "does good for myself" and "loves myself" can help me make the right decision. When we no longer look forward to the overbearing president, it is our heart that has been hardened by real life; we already know that the person who appears on the colorful clouds whenever we need it is just a beautiful hope; we have understood , the darkness of life still needs to be faced by yourself, not someone will block the darkness for you all the time. And the one who is "for our good" is a treasure that will never come again.
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