We all need to heal ourselves in relationships
Lee lit the fireplace to keep warm after his friends were gone. Then he went to the convenience store to buy things, and when he got to the door, he found that the house was on fire, because he forgot to put the fence of the fireplace, and a log jumped out. Only his wife was rescued, and he watched police wrap the bodies of his three children. Afterwards, he went to the police station to record a statement, and because he did not violate the law, he was released.
This is the objective fact part of the tragedy.
Lee went back upstairs after his friends and found the children's room too cold, but since his wife would get a dry nose from the heater, he lit the fireplace to keep him warm. Then he went to the convenience store to buy things, and when he got home, he found that the house was burning because he forgot to put the fence of the fireplace, and a log jumped out. Only his wife was rescued, and he watched police wrap the bodies of his three children. He watched all this in horror. His wife was in great pain. He wanted to comfort him, but she turned her head away and ignored him completely. He then went to the police station to take a statement, his eyes filled with remorse, despair, grief and guilt. But since it was not against the law, the police told him he could go. He couldn't believe that he didn't need to be punished for the tragedy caused by his own mistakes. When he was out, he took the opportunity to grab a policeman's gun and attempted suicide.
This is the complete story.
Lee's wife, the mother of three who lost her three children, and she was totally uninvolved in the whole sequence, had experienced the damage from the fire herself, so she was a complete victim. And her husband, as the one who caused this catastrophe, and as her closest living person, naturally became the villain, the object of her pain and grief through cursing. Lee's wife also only saw the first story. Then the two divorced. His wife hates him. When his wife met him later, she told him that she was sorry and didn't consider Lee's feelings at that time. She only knew that her heart was broken, but she didn't realize that Lee's heart was also broken. Lee was also very regretful and painful. . She realizes the second story, but Lee is reluctant to reconcile with his wife. Lee dreamed of children in his sleep, and the children said Dad, why are we burning? He felt that the children hated him.
The hatred of Lee's wife and children towards him is reflected in Lee's guilt. He felt that he was responsible for this tragedy, and he felt deeply remorseful. He himself accepts only the first story. But looking closely at this disaster, Lee's original intention was to take care of his children and his wife. The essence of this disaster was an accident. As the police said, anyone could make a mistake, and it did not break the law. Therefore, it was reasonable and reasonable. After the initial guilt, he should forgive himself. But as he said, he couldn't.
Before the accident, Lee was a husband and a father, but because of the accident, he lost both identities. Physically, the children died, he was no longer a father, divorced his wife, he was no longer a husband. But at the psychological level, he felt that he had killed the child, and he couldn't forgive himself, so the guilt formed a connection with the dead child in his heart. He was still a father and was ashamed of the child's father. The guilt of the wife also forms a connection with the divorced wife, a husband who is ashamed of his wife. After losing the physical connection, the psychological connection makes Lee feel still in the family relationship in the psychological sense.
In the movie, Lee's wife cried and wanted to reconcile with Lee, but Lee was hesitant and unwilling, just wanted to escape. Because once he reconciles with his wife, it means that he no longer owes his wife, and the wife will leave his heart. However, when he received a call from his wife, when he saw his wife and his current husband, his inner love was still the same. After all, they were not separated because of a broken relationship, but in reality, they couldn't be together anymore, so they could only psychologically Levels don't let go, keep in touch. In the same way, he praised the children of his wife and his current husband in the same way as his son, which is also continuing the connection with his own children. If Lee forgives himself that he doesn't feel guilty about his wife and kids, that means the psychological connection is gone too. The psychological connection is the most important of all relationships and the last connection after the physical relationship disappears. If the psychological connection disappears, it means that the other person in these intimate relationships really disappears, then the intimacy disappears, and the Lee who has an intimate relationship with them will also become meaningless with the disappearance of the relationship, no value of existence. When a person has no relational connection and feels meaningless and worthless, although he is still physically alive, he is a walking dead and his heart is empty. He lost touch with the world. Therefore, even though guilt drags Lee down and makes him humble and engage in the lowest level of work, anyone can be bossy and dejected, but guilt has also formed the core of his survival and has become his meaning and value of existence.
But this meaning and value are not the truth of life, they are just support before people encounter major setbacks and have no courage to let go. So the movie has a very important development, that is, Lee becomes the guardian of his nephew after the death of his brother. Lee begins to intervene in his nephew's life, and his nephew also intervenes in his own life. Although Lee still can't completely let go of the past and can't really assume the role of guardian of his nephew, in fact, he has established a connection and a relationship with his nephew. He is already reshaping his connection to the world.
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