1
friend filed for divorce with her husband, there is no third party, it has nothing to do with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but really can't stand her husband's general principles.
A fuse is an extremely small thing. One morning, her husband excitedly prepared a hearty Western breakfast: omelettes, sausages, bread with jam and soy milk. The child ate bread, sausages, soy milk, and wanted bread. She was afraid that the child would eat too much, and told the child that if she wanted to eat another slice of bread, she had to give up the fried egg.
Her husband wants the child to eat fried eggs and give up bread, saying that it is for more comprehensive nutrition.
In the end, the child chose bread. Husband immediately lowered his face and sat on the sofa, refusing to speak.
She stepped forward to persuade her husband, who knew that her husband not only did not listen to the persuasion, but also said that she intended to impose her own ideas on him. She felt aggrieved and said that she just wanted to persuade him, hoping that he would like to open up, make big things small and small things. How can I say that, it makes my husband angry.
"You're a paradox, do you know that? You're forcing me to agree with you, and you want me to be happy. How can I be happy? You insist on agreeing with your opinion, and you're not allowed to have emotions. Change it to you. , are you happy?" The
friend said, "It's normal for two people to have different views. I think you feel uncomfortable when you are unhappy, and you just want to coax you. Why are you not allowed to have emotions? The two of you are together. Isn't it just to love each other?"
Her husband insisted: "If you make me happy, I will be happy. You are a paradox, don't you know? You obliterated the source of my happiness, and then made me happy again, Don't you think this is ridiculous?" The
friend felt aggrieved, unable to control himself for a while, and burst into tears. "Is it wrong for me to try to coax you? If I'm uncomfortable, I hope you can come and coax me!" My
husband sat on the sofa and was angry, not understanding what his friend was saying.
The friend cried for a long time. Seeing that her husband was not moving, she had to cry and say clearly: "I need you to coax me now. It's okay if you don't want to coax me!"
Husband walked over to her, patted her on the back with gravity, suppressed his anger, and said, "Be happy! Be happy! Be happy quickly!" He patted her twice, and went back to sit on the sofa. He went down and said, "Didn't I coax you? Why aren't you happy yet?" The
friend almost collapsed. When I saw the rental information on the road, I was heartless and sent a text message to my husband: "Let's divorce! I will move out as soon as possible." After that, I called to see the house.
This is really a "divorce caused by a piece of bread". The friend and her husband have walked all the way. There are no major conflicts, and small frictions occur from time to time. The reason why it was so out of control this time was that her husband had been reasoning with her intensively recently, and he had to make her speechless, and he felt that he had the upper hand when he ended the conversation by himself.
"I don't care whether his arguments are right or wrong, I am a woman and an emotional creature after all, so can't he tell me his feelings? I coax him every time! He still doesn't appreciate it, saying that I deprived him of his sadness. Right!" The
husband and wife quarreled to persuade him to reconcile but not to leave, but in this case, I really don't know how to persuade me. Emotionally, I identify with friends. As the saying goes: "Home is not a place for reason, and a relationship between husband and wife is not a reasonable relationship." This may sound unreasonable, but it is the truth of harmony between two people.
When a woman is married, she does not expect her husband to love her and care for her for a lifetime. Even if it was his eloquent eloquence and debating thinking, he would never have hoped that he would bring all this into his marriage and tell himself a big truth at every turn.
It's true that some people are very reasonable and can be reasonable, and some can even say that white is black. If this is placed in a debate conference or in a court, it will definitely lead to repeated praises present, and maybe even a "best debater" or a popular lawyer. However, home is a place that is maintained by emotions, and not everything needs to come up with a piece of evidence, sum up an argument, and finally make a closing statement.
Between the two, if they start to argue with reason, they will unconsciously hold a bunch of unrecognizable theories, and try to pull out a few cases to prove their theories. At this time, maybe you are in control, but you also push your partner to the opposite of yourself. He becomes your opponent in the debate, and you have to come up with more arguments to stimulate him, crush him, and leave him without a chance to speak. The more speechless he is, the better your odds are. Then, you'll be more impassioned, knocking the opponent down. In the end, you finally won. By the time you get on the podium, he has long since disappeared. When you are still mocking him for his lack of energy, you don't know that you have lost him.
When you repent and want to talk about love with him again, do you love Da Dao or do you love him?
2
A couple once appeared in the variety show "Love Defense". The woman said that the man was inconsiderate, and she had to argue for a few words, and she must win the argument. No matter what, the man can say something big. She couldn't take it anymore and wanted to break up.
The guests asked the man: "If you win the fight, and the other party
wants to break up with you, will you still fight?" The man said: "It will be great if you win, but you will regret it very much if you break up."
Then, Did you win an argument just to have a good time? No regrets even at the cost of a broken relationship?
People are all about profit and avoiding harm. If you win the truth, you will lose the intimacy. For a person who likes to reason, can't you understand such a simple truth?
Life is complicated and chaotic. Two people who come from different families and backgrounds will inevitably have a lot of friction in the details of "continuous cutting and chaotic". Many times there is no reason to say that as long as both sides take a step back, the rain will always pass. The sky is clear, the sea is wide and the sky is wide. If one side steps back and the other side doesn’t know how to “let it go when it’s good,” but instead approaches step by step, blindly focusing on self and always thinking that he is right, then not only the other side, but also the relationship between the two will be hurt.
Principles and rules are the norms by which we walk in this world. With reason and rules, the world will not fall into chaos. But the relationship between the two is different. When two people get along, tolerance and understanding are far greater than principles and rules.
Because of different births, growth and experiences, everyone has different understandings of the principles, and there is no absolute axiom. If it is reasonable to force the other party to admit their mistakes and admit your truth, then how can two independent people be integrated?
3
Have you heard the theory of bull mating?
Studies have shown that bulls mate with each cow only once. No matter how much people try to bathe the same cow, spray it with perfume, and blindfold the bull, the bull just doesn't mate with the same cow a second time. Because it's a "flowery bull", that's what it is.
This is not the reason I want to talk about today, but a set of theories identified by Jane in the movie "Déjà Vu". Moreover, she also applied this theory to her love life, believing that her ex-boyfriend dumped her because he was a bull, and only after dumping her could he find the next cow.
Whenever she proposed this theory, Eddie, who lived in the same room, persuaded her to put it down. "They are people, not cows. It is very painful to lose love, but good things will happen again." But
Jane not only recognized this big truth, but also carried it forward, developed a set of theories, published in fashion magazines, caused extensive attention.
In the end, she found that Eddie had been waiting by his side for a long time when she was talking about the big truth to herself. And she completely ignored Eddie's presence and company when she was eloquent in reasoning.
Fortunately, she finally overturned the "wrong logic" and chose to catch up with Eddie who left.
You see, even the movies are telling you that if you want to live in two places, you must let go of your big truth. Court is a better place if you have to be reasonable.
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