This is a book that can be understood by those with big brains and those with secondary diseases.

This is a book

that can be understood by people with big brains and middle-aged patients. Today, let's take a look at the book "The Alexandre Dumas Club". The author of this book is a Spaniard, and he also wrote a relatively well-known book "The Legend of the Mercenaries" - that is the big costume movie of the same name starring Uncle V, the male protagonist of "The Lord of the Rings" - what, the Lord of the Rings have not seen? Don't know Viggo Mortensen? It doesn't matter, they have nothing to do with our book anyway. Forget it! Then Alexandre Dumas must know, the three musketeers must have heard of it, and Blossom played a little white-faced villain in it, the Duke of Buckingham - it doesn't matter if you haven't heard it or read it, you just need to know that this is a very famous book A well-known book by the best-selling author. Finally - Johnny Depp always knows that, right? It's Captain Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean - yes, our popular lover Johnny Depp has starred in the movie remake of this book, but the movie is not called "Club Alexandre Dumas", and director Polanski gave it a nickname. There is a compelling film called "The Ninth Door".

When reading this book, I recommend that you bring in Johnny Depp's handsome and charming face throughout - this will effectively prevent you from falling asleep halfway through the book.
Yes, this book is full of literary grace, suspense but not thriller, and slapstick but no climax. If you go to see a movie... The movie is still a cut version, the same clear soup is watery and tasteless, so you still have to rely on it to read the book. Brainstorm!

Why is brainstorming so important? The last time I was tortured to death by a book, I was reading a very difficult translation of "Lady Chatterley's Lover". I can only say that I was unlucky to see a pirated book with all kinds of strange and fake characters and prints in it. The typo tortured me to the point of wanting to see myself short-sighted. When I watched the first half, I felt that my whole mood was as bad as the smog in this winter.
But I persevered-because I was able to open my mind and make up the heroine's brain as Adjani/Huppert/Sophie Marceau/Juliet Binoche/Kate Winslet when reading a book, until after the male protagonist appeared I made up the male protagonist's brain as Viggo Mortensen/Hugo Weaving/Christian Bell/Uncle Li Jianjun (the last name is so long that I can't remember it), so I corrected the typos while reading the book in great pain. On the one hand, the scenes of the gods and goddesses are in my head...
Although the translation is really torturous, but when I read the novel with the sexy and beautiful appearance of the gods and goddesses in my mind, it is still very emotional.

Okay, no more bullshit. Let's start reading.

This is how it started - our hero Johnny Depp is handsome - in this book his name is Corso, he is a professional book hunter, specializing in collecting all kinds of classic books and selling them to people around the world. Bibliophile trench. One day he got two books, one is the original manuscript of a certain chapter of "The Three Musketeers" - "The Wine of Anjou" - the manuscript of Alexandre Dumas, it is said that it is likely to be authentic, this is a great value. Money; one is "The Ninth Gate of the Dark Kingdom", a book written by a certain devil worshipper in the 18th century, and the author was burned to death because of this book, and these books are long out of print, if our protagonist If the book in hand is genuine, it will be super super valuable.
Then our male protagonist discovered two things: the first is that from "The Wine of Anjou", we can see the process of Alexandre Dumas's processing when writing the book, which means that the novel was not originally written by Alexandre Dumas, but someone ghostwritten The plot framework for the story was written, and then Dumas polished it to complete the novel. (In fact, everyone knows this.) The second is that "The Ninth Gate of the Dark Kingdom" seems to have something to do with the devil.

Then the male protagonist encountered some people who seemed to be very interested in the two books or one of the books in his hand. As is usual in the usual thriller novels, our hero is inexplicably hunted down—of course, it must be the people who want to snatch his books.
It would be fine if the male protagonist was an ordinary person, but our male protagonist is a very eccentric... a book lover.
His life is a universe connected by countless brain holes - that is to say, he is no different from our ordinary dead house two-dimensional two-dimensional youth - but his condition is more serious than you and me.
For example, when we mention the cute girl singer, we will think of Hatsune and Watanabe Mayu Ono Erina. When our hero mentions cigars, he will say that this is the Monte Cristo cigar in "The Count of Monte Cristo", and when it comes to gin, he will say that this is the usual drink of Alexandre Dumas in "The Three Musketeers" , if someone came after him - well, there was a man who tried to kill him and rob him of the book in his hand, so he said - FUCK! This man looks like Rochefort, the villain in "The Three Musketeers"! So, I'm the hero D'Addarion in "The Three Musketeers"?

→_→ It can be seen that this person is indeed a brain hole star, a late-stage secondary disease patient.

Then a sexy girl deliberately fucked him in order to deceive the book in his hand, but after the incident, he turned his face and refused to admit it, and was chased and killed by the angry woman. He reacted immediately - this woman is Milady! The plot of being chased by her after I lied to her to get out of bed is exactly the same as D'Addarion being chased by her after she lied to Milady in "The Three Musketeers"! That being said, I did notice it—I really am a D'Addario!
→_→ Why don't you say they are the villain Bond girls, you are James Bond, and you are playing Fleming's 007 script?

In short, the protagonist's brain opening was so unpredictable and shameless that it was far beyond the readers' expectations - the speed of my brainstorming did not catch up with the speed of his brain opening.

Then the male protagonist ran to Paris in order to continue investigating the two books at hand. On the way, he met another girl. The girl said, I am here to protect you as a guardian angel. The male protagonist said why, and the girl said, no why, hehe.
The male protagonist didn't realize that because he is a two-dimensional character, it is normal to have a protagonist's halo and a sister.

The man asked again: What's your name?
The girl said: My name is Irene Adler! I live at 221B Baker Street.
So the male protagonist was stunned: No! We are playing the script of "The Three Musketeers"! How did you cross over from the Sherlock Holmes crew?
The girl said: What is "The Three Musketeers"? I haven't read it yet. Could you lend me "The Three Musketeers"?

Fortunately, our male protagonist is a brainy star after all, and this girl is very sincere. When the Paris male protagonist was attacked again by the man "Rochefort" with a "scar on his face", the girl ran over to save him.
He asked sister: "?? Yo good skill oh where did you learn the martial art '
sister, said:" The Last Jihad with Archangel fighting, with the archangel learned. "
Men should indeed brain-hole star who, immediately react : "Oh! You turned out to be a devil!"

That's right, this girl is a demon. According to my guess, it may be Lucifer himself. She heard that the male protagonist was going to put together three books of "The Ninth Door of the Dark Kingdom", and she was very happy, because this book was written by Lucifer. , I thought that I had encountered my own brain-disabled fan, so I made a special trip to protect the male protagonist, and by the way, I was going to test whether the male protagonist's political ideology passed the test and whether he could join the party.
In addition, it is speculated that the devil is simple in thinking because he reads less books. She has only read Sherlock Holmes, so she made up the name of Erin Adler according to the book, and even wrote the address on her passport as 221B Baker Street Erin Adler - really honest. This kind of behavior is almost like a novice dealer who makes counterfeit money printing millions of hundred-yuan bills. In other aspects, all the watermarks, nicks and dark patterns pass the test, but the number on the bill is exactly the same.

The male protagonist has not realized that he is actually carrying out two story lines at the same time - in addition to D'Addarion's story line, he is also experiencing the line of summoning the devil in the book "The Ninth Gate".
But he immediately put aside the devilish girl beside him who looked like a plug-in, and carried her with him as a mobile NPC or free prop, and turned to wholeheartedly identify the story line of Alexandre Dumas' "The Three Musketeers" to continue exploring.

There is no need to talk about the next two things.
The male protagonist found in Paris that "Milady" had seduced his book dealer friend Labondi, and at the same time attacked them and stole his books, so the male protagonist believed that his friend was playing the role of Athos-because In the story of "The Three Musketeers", Athos is a friend of D'Addarion, who was seduced by Milady and then turned against him.
The male protagonist shouted: "It's time to solve the mystery! Milady, Rochefort, Athos, D'Addarion are all there! We should go to see the mastermind behind the scenes, Cardinal Richelieu!"

——Then his brother Labond and his sister Erin Adler both looked at him with a foolish look on their faces.
→_→ Just like this.
Then the demon girl asked him: "If you go to see those big villains, and they use guns to compare you, what will you do?" The
male protagonist replied very honestly: "Probably hide behind you."

However, the trend of things is strikingly similar to history - oh no, it is similar to the novel - the male protagonist actually arrested Milady in the novel "The Three Musketeers" by virtue of his ingenious brain. Real "Miledy" Linna and "Rochefort" were caught in the village.
However, on this night of thunder and lightning, the blond female villain did not play cards according to the routine when she met them for the first time, but instead slapped the case and debated with them excitedly about the male protagonist of "The Three Musketeers". , scolding the protagonist D'Addario is not a hero, not a man, not a thing - a libertine, a big fool, a miser, while Athos is an alcoholic and a macho... The

male lead and his party were all dumbfounded. .
——It seems that there is more than one male protagonist in this world who can't distinguish between the two and three dimensions of the bookworm's dead house!

In the end, the most sober male protagonist of them finally remembered the business: "Cough, we are not here to discuss Alexandre Dumas with you, I am here to ask for "The Ninth Door", that is my thing. The last Rochefort attack I took it away when I was there, and you killed three people because of this."
"Milady" was inexplicable: "What is the ninth gate?"
Male lead: "I'm so fed up! Okay , We have already played the finale, we should go meet Richelieu!"

Then he really met "Richelieu" - this person is actually a friend of the male protagonist, a certain book critic, Dumas novel The fanatical fan of Richelieu, who is wearing Richelieu's clothes and inviting him very solemnly in a certain underground castle -
"Sao Nian, I think you have a brilliant mind, you are still a middle schooler who died of illness, and you especially love to use your life to Cospaly's "The Three Musketeers", and the whole game is specially matched with our original script, I decided! Let you join our Alexandre Dumas Club!"
Then he greeted a large number of people - all Da Zhong Fans of Ma novels, of course, like our Coeser circle, are all well-equipped and rich. What's even more amazing is that most of the people in the male protagonist know - these people he met on the road of adventure, these props, just opposite the content in the "Three Musketeers" book.
"Hey, this is the XX bookseller, this is the XX Duke, this is the XX prince, who is this, who is his cos..."
"We, this fandom, spend so much money playing COS every year. Really, it's a good play - you see that 'Milady' deliberately stabbed a golden lily on his shoulder - in order to conform to the original. Every year we also scrape together to make a book - of course, it is a book for fans of niche fans. ...Look at how good our circle is! It just so happens that I think Sao Nian, you are also a

talented person , come on, join our Alexandre Dumas Club!" The male protagonist saw that these people are powerful Coser, more than himself Secondary two, he quickly said: "I don't want to play with you group of secondary patients, look at you guys - you all killed your life just to play Cos! Three people died along the way!"
"Richelieu When I heard it, I was stunned: "How could it be possible to die? We are all playing COS and not killing people - an old man died before because he wanted to use the publishing house in our circle to publish his own works - you Knowing that our publishing house is also its own work that has attracted fans, how could it be possible to publish a plagiarism of the level of Guo Xiaosi Tang Qi Gongzi? So I pointed out to him where and where his work was copied. As soon as he heard this, he immediately felt ashamed and committed suicide."
Then the male protagonist suddenly said, "Then the people who died along the way are none of your business? Aren't those two dead people arranged in the chapter 'Anjou's Wine'? The ghost soldier who drank poisoned wine for Dadalion?"
"Richelieu" is really none of our business.

Then the male protagonist thought about it, I have no problem with my brain, right?
Then the male protagonist slapped his head--oh! I have another book on hand!
It is the "Ninth Door", and it is said that those who have collected authentic works can summon the devil.

So the male protagonist finally remembered that there was a devil girl beside him, this walking plug-in - you can ask her!
Then the girl said why didn't you ask me earlier, let me tell you, Barabala, there are actually three authentic copies of this book, and the three are said to be able to summon Satan, Barabala~ Then you met me on the road The dead people in "The Ninth Door" correspond to the mysteries in the "Ninth Door", which are the dead Fa Barabara...
Then the male protagonist listened to her for a long time, and finally asked, why didn't you tell me earlier?
The girl said, how did I know then! I see that you are concentrating on COS Alexandre Dumas. You ask me how the story of Alexandre Dumas is going, how would I know? I only know how the script of the Ninth Gate is played, and I don't know how the script of the Three Musketeers is played.

The male protagonist immediately understood - it turns out that the devil is not omniscient!

Then the male protagonist goes to the behind-the-scenes BOSS of "The Ninth Door".
It turned out that this BOSS was also known to him early on—that is, the book collector who entrusted him with the task of identifying the authenticity of "The Ninth Door", while asking the male protagonist to investigate the relevant information of the book along the way, he followed the male protagonist along the way. Find the other two authentic copies of this book, and kill the owner of those books by the way.
Then the boss saw him coming and laughed wildly - you're late! I have collected three copies of "The Ninth Door" today, and I am ready to summon the devil!

The male protagonist said, I'm here to get the wages, I'm too lazy to care about you - you call, I'll watch you die quietly.
Then BOSS began to pretend, playing with a lot of bottles and jars and a bunch of weird props, and finally poured himself a glass of holy water or something, ready to go to heaven or hell.

Then the boss hangs up.
╮(╯_╰)╭Then the

male protagonist went out, the demon girl was waiting for him to go home with him under the sun, HE.

It seems that at the end the male protagonist has a hint that he has been assimilated by the devil - as for how to do it - the devil has taken a fancy to him early in the morning! ╮(╯▽╰)╭ has been protecting him from the very beginning~
As for why he fell in love with the male protagonist...

probably...
because
...the male protagonist has a big brain...

This story tells us that if you are ugly, you need to read more, and if you play COS, you need to work hard, especially those who are in the second dimension. , we must use life to open our minds, and we must wholeheartedly be a middle-level two-star person.

Maybe one day, Lord Satan will see that you have a brilliant mind and a talent that can be created, and will also put the book "The Ninth Door" in front of you... Then when you get the book, you must not pay for it. One 哂 ~ but to be very religious and earnestly follow the process of this book to COS it again.
Don't plagiarize →_→, don't snatch other people's fruits of victory →_→, you read the second hidden boss in the book, right? It stands to reason that all the levels of the ninth gate are taken by the actor himself. Yes, the boss himself didn't do anything, so he actually wanted to grab the book and go to see Satan himself? This is different from that Guo Xiaosi, Tang Qigong, who copied someone else's book and insisted that it was his own work. As a result, the boss didn't know where he died in the end. I guess he didn’t go to see God anyway. Even Satan doesn’t like seeing this person. Who knows where he died——╮(╯_╰)╭whatever~

Finally——You can see that Satan can also play, People have to choose a brainless fan to join their membership circle~ In fact, it is no different from our two-dimensional otaku nerd and nerd girl exchange circle. Originally, it was a simple matter to choose a member directly from some demon cult. She wanted the protagonist to play COS according to the book process. It can be seen that she also likes the kind of superstitious and eccentric and into the play. Secondary disease patients.

In a word, be a middle-aged patient, you must have fun~

(Finally, this book and this movie are not recommended to watch. Especially the movie - the Polanski who killed a thousand knives, he actually opened his mind in this book All the funny plots of "The Alexandre Dumas Club" in the cave have been deleted! Only the devil's game of pretending to be a ghost is left, which is really boring, especially boring.)

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