Originally, I had lived without pain or shame, thinking that life was like this, but no, seeing the eyes of the teenagers washed with water, my heart suddenly filled with sadness: It turns out that this life is all a comfortable mistake.
We used to be girls too.
So upright, so innocent, so like a human-shaped magnet, attracting and being attracted, to establish a life connection with a young body, an unknown field.
At that time, peach blossoms were blooming in front of the courtyard, Li Huabai was still in the back of the house, and grandparents were still there, sitting on old rattan chairs, one talking about her past and the other about China's past. In the semiconductor radio, Shan Tianfang also joined in the fun, telling "Three Heroes and Five Righteousness" murderously. The mountains in the distance are silent, the birds are undulating, the mother is cooking dinner in the kitchen, and the floor surrounded by hibiscus is yellow and broken.
At that time, I was stubborn and stubborn, and I was studying very late because I had to compete for the first place. At night reading to the turning clock, I was so sleepy that I turned down the candle and burned the bedding out of countless black holes. The next day hanging in the double-pole, contacts Zheyue: "Did not see the first school that comes out of this?."
At that time, like "evil", obsessed with Louis Koo, we chatted about his dorm room, a variety of tones, light and heavy And timbre, competing to express the same meaning: "handsome handsome handsome handsome!" I also like Andy Lau, but because he looks too much like my dad, his goodwill is greatly reduced. Zhong Hanliang is also a fresh meat singer, nicknamed "Little Sun". He is a new favorite, not as popular as Guoer. After more than ten years, the feng shui cycle, he and his status changed.
At that time, I bought a soft-cover copy, and the title page said: Songbook. The whole class copied the lyrics to each other one by one. Hand it to someone, eyes down, but there are countless eyes on the body. "You're good at writing, help me copy the song!" After preparing for a few days, this sentence is still shocking.
At that time, I walked a long way to dance, and when I came back, I was alone. There were bright lights under the Phoenix Mountain. There was a bakery selling sweet-scented osmanthus tea cakes on the side of the road. One day, a female classmate, whose relationship is not very good, said, I will treat you to dinner. Just one, fragrant to this day.
There are also some names, some old people. To this day, still young, still with dew, still representing those dreams, the carved railings are still there.
In that bright age, the pomegranate blossoms were blooming, and the trees were running wild in the fields.
He stood downstairs, riding a bicycle, tapping on the ground with one foot and putting the other hand in his trouser pocket, calling out to the people upstairs. After a while, several people came down, whistling sharply, like a flock of huge white birds, riding bicycles in the twilight and leaving quickly.
I turned back at midnight, singing along the way, "Nothing at All", intense, arrogant, and hormones flowing everywhere. After the singing, the others have stopped, only he is still singing:
I used to ask endlessly when will you go with me,
but you always laugh at me that I have nothing,
I want to give you my pursuit and my freedom, but
you But always laugh at me for having nothing
... When will you come with me
... When will you go with me I have
never heard such a voice in my life. So fearless and dazzling, the rest of the rest of his life is set off like a bleak wilderness.
Thinking about it, I had no intention of saying to my tablemate during the day, I like this song. He sat next to him and listened.
But not the one you like.
The boy who stopped at the tip of my heart was another one, with long forehead hair and a good basketball game. But I dare not say it, nor will I say it. In the summer vacation, walk a long way to the town's public phone booth and say hello to him. It was his landline, and the number was memorized by heart. Sometimes, he picks up and has nothing to talk about. Just to say, how's your homework going? There's still a month before school starts, so boring...
At that time, the sun hit the glass door of the phone booth, exploded like popcorn in summer, and rolled down.
Youth does not know the future.
There must be a flash of lightning that hits us with a bang, not a second earlier, not a second later, just at that time, when I saw that person, there was a bang, and it was over. In the years that followed, in the sweet sequelae, the dizziness at that moment was stretched for a long, infinite time. This goes together.
One day, a singing boy called someone to come to the classroom and said to find me. After he went out, he was standing at the other end of the corridor, standing in silence.
It was the same night as now. A fragment of stars in the sky, a fragment of lights in the distance. The wind in the hall came and went, and the teaching building looked like an emphysema patient. We leaned against the railing and neither spoke nor moved.
Two awkward people.
It's not about lingering, and it's not "Shh, listen, everything is silent as a mystery". Just hollowed out my heart and had nothing to say. Confused. Every inch of air is tangled.
What's the matter?
Stop standing here.
Don't come again.
Sure enough, there was nothing after that, and it ended without a hitch. Lost people.
The school organized to see "Titanic", he sat in front of me, and he was very clear. The whole process was turbulent. He looked to the left, looked to the right, but didn't look back.
It was almost dusk when we exited the stage, and clusters of people, holding hands and squeezing together, enthusiastically regurgitated the plot. When he turned around, he saw his eyes in the crowd of densely packed people, shrinking and hurting, as if the voices of people were full of people, and they had nothing to do with him. How many eyes I have encountered in my life, only that one look makes me think of it, and it is still sad.
That's it.
Only in this way.
Without Xu Taiyu, never resisted authority, never stubbornly defended one's own interests, never practiced a skill to perfection for one person, just read, just took an exam, just used fantasy to give artificial respiration to a mediocre life, let a flower Every morning and evening, every tree flickered faintly again.
The rest is lackluster.
When she met someone, she said, when she was young, she was neither crazy nor bad, and she felt unwilling to think about it! Mistakes in the future will not be easily forgiven.
The day before yesterday, I went to see "My Girls' Generation", and sitting next to me was a woman of the same age as my mother, wiping away her tears. At the end of the curtain, I sighed faintly, ah... ah
... I want to fall to the ground and start all over again, I want to wipe out the wasted ten years, I want to love again, destroy and build again . However impossible. Nor is it possible.
All the past is the cornerstone of a person's identity. Because of Xu Taiyu, Lin Zhenzhen became today's Lin Zhenzhen; and we became today's us because of Xiaoming, Xiaohong or Xiaoqiang.
It has its own glory and its own sorrow.
There is strength, and there is hesitation.
In "My Girls' Generation", someone said, "Youth always starts to shine because of one person." Hearing that, I almost cried.
I suddenly felt that Girls' Generation is not a noun, but an adjective.
The texture we miss the most in our life, the cleanest emotion, the softest, stubborn and saddest state, the person who wants to talk the most... are all defined by it tenderly, and then stored in the thesaurus of life , to decorate the rest of our boring lives.
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