My name is Berridge Jensen, a student at the University of Munich Law, this year six In January, a story spread to Munich and swept all over Germany. A man from Rothenburg ate a young man. It is said that the victim was a student of our school's medical department.
Oh my god! Maybe I've seen him, maybe we've passed each other up and down the stairs or across the lawn, maybe we've met at a party or a public class, but now he's dead and the news is blocked, It is saddening and curious that the victim's actions during his lifetime and the evidence left behind suggest that he was willing.
Who will be eaten voluntarily?
Maybe I should ask Holland about cannibalism, he is a history student, but the priority is to attend the hearing, my professor was invited, but he told us privately that he was not so reluctant, after all cannibalism Rare, rare and sinful, he was afraid that he would get emotional, I said he wanted to accompany me, he declined me with my gender, and I was angry.
But I will not give up, actually I am very interested, a Hungarian girl I know is a friend of the victim, she once kissed me in public, which made me humiliated in front of my classmates, so she owes me a favor, she has to testify in court , so I went to her to help persuade my professor.
In the end, my professor let me go, but I had to help him take notes. On the day of the court session, I deliberately tied my hair and dressed up to be strong, so as not to be stopped by the bailiff, so I sneaked into the courtroom and successfully met that person.
Arthur Kirkland Rostow.
He was pale when he was brought up by the two, and his eyes were light in color, like crystal clear turquoise water, so again, the emotion they conveyed was unfathomable. Most of the people invited were experts, so there was no so-called excitement, and he looked more helpless and marginalized than he thought, maybe he was suitable to be a lone ranger rather than stand trial in broad daylight.
What's interesting is that when he came in, he mumbled and kept repeating the sentence: "I saw it, I saw it..." .....
I don't know what he saw, but it didn't seem to People care about that.
There is no need to repeat the details of the trial. I think this matter is not a case but a tragedy, so I wrote it into a novel.
Well, the story I'm going to write next stems from a real event.
Before reading it, I would like to ask you, my dear readers, two questions.
Question 1: Are you willing to atone for the wrongs others have committed against you?
Second question: Is it wrong to find someone who can see through your inner darkness and stick together?
You may be wondering what my role is in the world behind the story, but that doesn't matter.
Because whoever becomes the author, the story belongs only to them.
(-5)
People return their souls to their hometown after death.
Alfred lived in three places in his short life. He moved to Mamba, Germany when he was ten years old, and then came to Munich when he was sixteen. He spent his childhood in warm and dry Utah, which was once an uncultivated wasteland.
Salt Lake City was his first home, but in most cases, Alfred was always willing to live with his father in the mining area. The mining area was located next to a canyon, with several laps of thin steel rails surrounding the entire area, with occasional forks extending into the wild. . Alfred likes to sit on the dirty minecart, and when it's at the top, just a little power, "Whoosh!" He slides down with the car, down the moderately sloping track , the desolate weathered scenery unfolded in the field of vision, and there was the sound of dry wind in the ears.
Until later, Alfred went to elementary school, so he stayed with his mother in Salt Lake City. Once a neighbor came to visit and brought their young son Matthew, who was the same age as Alfred, and the two ran to the children's room and played." Doctor and patient", the purpose of this game is that one person strips naked, and the other person treats him, Alfred happens to be the one who strips naked, and Matthew squeezes here, squeezes there, and finally touches that. Where little boys are curious, this scene was seen by the mother who pushed in the door, she slapped Alfred hard, and three months later, she committed suicide.
Alfred attributed his mother's death to his own despair, and more than once during those three months he overheard her kneeling in her room and praying to God for help and to drive away the demons that plagued her husband and son.
Every time he heard this, he twisted his face and tiptoed away, his whole body trembling with pain, and his heart was bleeding.
However, he never knew what he had done wrong.
Arthur Kirkland Rostow was born and raised in Germany. His parents were English. Peace was not a long-term situation at that time. Under various persecutions, they traveled across oceans and seas, traveled mountains and rivers, and came to the Holy Roman Empire at that time. , and finally settled in a small place in Bavaria. The locals jokingly called their hometown "the city saved by drinking", and foreigners called it Rothenburg.
Arthur's father was a craftsman, working in a small private workshop in the city. He was once an apprentice and now a master. In the workshop where sawdust and dust were flying, he made the violin for the beautiful music.
This is a kind of fine craftsmanship. From material selection to sound beams, from synthesizing to assembling, every process must be precisely sized and polished. There is no room for mistakes. Therefore, in order to make the results and wages look good, people rarely bring relatives into the workshop.
Arthur was very curious about all kinds of finely crafted work. Before going to school, he often went to hide in the yard outside the workshop, hid under the wide open wooden window and peeped quietly, watching his father play the red-painted violins one by one. Hanging on the wooden beam of the piano, a trace of strength made it tremble gently, like the convulsions of a hanged man before he was dying.
My father wouldn't let them come to see him at work, but he wouldn't refuse to play a song for his wife and children after dinner. The piano case was dark brown, and the leather made it gleam golden under the light. Take it out from there. The violin is like a dream, sometimes playing Sarasati's sad wanderer, sometimes Bach's bizarre Chacon, the family is Catholic, and my father often plays the Ave Maria, the passionate allegro or the plucked pluck of the beautiful left hand. Interspersed and alternated, it is not only to get closer to the feelings, but also to show off the skills.
Whenever this time, my brother Scott smiled perfunctoryly and didn't seem to care that much, because sooner or later he would inherit his father's craftsmanship, and his mother had no feelings for violin and music. In a small house that carries a family of four, she rarely goes out.
But Arthur loves this segment, the closest he's ever gotten to the violin in childhood. Being able to watch how this beautiful instrument is played, while laughing or playing to the beat, this interaction is precious and touching, with a warm divinity that preserves Arthur's soul and keeps the possibility of darkness seducing him as low as possible. lowest.
Arthur only later learned that his mother had a two-way handicap, but she was already buried at that time. The cemetery was on the outskirts of the western city. The adult Arthur stood in front of his mother's tombstone, which was briefly engraved on the dull and whitish marble cuboid. Her whole life, as if her life had just opened her hands to emit a weak golden light, the time carriage swept across the ground swiftly and savagely took away her soul.
The ordeal that Elizabeth Rostow endured at the beginning was not a double handicap. She suffered a stroke. Compared with the physical pain, the mental illness seemed insignificant. The former was just a walking dead at worst, while the latter opened a gap for the birth of death. Along with it comes abandonment.
In college, Alfred got a chance to listen to an underground band by himself. The venue is in an empty parking lot. It is gradually dilapidated because it is far from the city center. The disrepaired hardware facilities have become a paradise for decadence. That night, a large number of young people flocked to the venue to indulge in pleasure, enriching themselves with legal and illegal things, just like Valp Demons dance on the night of Ghis. The dazzling white light flashed, and Alfred looked up from the crowd and saw the band's name was Spiegel (Mirror), the band members were standing in the center of the stage wearing priest's vestments, and a young singer was whispering in Old German. recite:
/ The stars are bright, and the faint traces of the fire on the eve of the celebration on the eve of the double moon are reflected on the inn. Death will shake the earth and the creation must be reborn It became so far away that Alfred widened his eyes and slowly pressed the nose pads of his glasses to the bridge of his nose. Just when he thought he was hallucinating, the singer's voice suddenly changed into a hoarse voice:
/ The storm came suddenly! Wake up sleeping children! /
The rough gravel galloped on the eardrum in an instant, and the roars of the drums and bass continued to follow up, as if they were about to completely destroy something. The frenzy of the atmosphere swept the space like a flame.
/ The iron hoof is clanking, the distant destruction is quietly approaching, the horn is hoisted, the weapons are picked up, the warriors and the servants are dead and the blade is bloodied/
/ The unknown evil in the dream of the sleeping child wanders beyond the jungle, the dead mother stretches her voice, the melody is sweet, drunk and blurred/
/Double The moon merged into one Silent tears fell, recalling the distant years like a dream /
A moment of heartbroken pleading, a moment of domineering prophecy, Alfred looked at them in amazement, feeling a red dragon coming from The abyss beneath him climbed upwards with a deafening roar.
Then he listened, turned around suddenly and struggled to squeeze through the crowd and ran to the bathroom. In a small cubicle he unbuttoned his trousers quickly, his right hand moved quickly, panting heavily. What made him feel the smoky dead space and the frantically dancing physical contact around him, he noticed that most of those people were men.
A flash of light flashed across his brain, and Alfred saw himself standing in front of a huge mirror. In the mirror, he was naked and unshielded. He looked timidly at the world outside the mirror, but he did not look at it. Know nothing. Oh, no wonder the band is called Spiegel.
He suddenly understood why his mother prayed back then, and also understood why his father did not want to go home, the meaning of the game, and the reason for suicide. The truth made him cry against the dirty wall of the toilet.
Alfred committed suicide that night with a small blade.
Of course he didn't succeed. His Russian roommate went back to the dormitory shortly after he cut his wrist. Seeing this scene, he hurriedly stopped the bleeding. It is said that Alfred had been crying at that time: "Mom! Mom! Why should I be born? "
Father murder may happen often, but mother murder is absolutely not allowed. Your mother can dedicate her life for you, but you must never take it away. In Alfred's mind, he simply did the most treacherous thing, and it was indeed him. killed his own mother.
He has not been able to laugh since.
Thirteen-year-old Arthur watched as his father stuffed his luggage into the trunk of the old Ford. The daily necessities gradually changed color in his eyes, turning gray like the ground under his feet. Scott walked through the hallway. He came out with something in his hand that Arthur recognized as a piano case containing his father's violin, which was picked up by a pair of rough hands and tossed at random on the pile of luggage.
Inevitably, the piano case was infected by the disease of the luggage, and at first it remained the original color, then slowly grayed and slowly died.
Deep brown with a light golden sheen, it was once an old sunlit tree.
My violin is gone.
As the engine started making noise, Arthur said silently in his heart.
He suddenly jumped in front of him and grabbed the car window on the driver's side. The sudden emotion made him cry loudly: "Dad! Take me with you!"
"No child, you have to stay and take care of your mother."
"But, you Can't leave me alone!"
"Go back Arthur. You hurry up Scott!"
"Dad!"
This feeling forced him for the first time to get up his courage, and after his brother got into the car and started to drive, he ran after him. After a short walk, the sand and gravel on the ground were rolled up by the tires. He didn't care about his eyes, he passed through the dusty yard, and wanted to run out.
"Arthur!" The voice made him stop at the junction of the yard and the road.
Elizabeth stood in front of the door and called to him. She had seen enough of the dust rising from the rear of the car, not to mention that standing for a long time made her lower limbs hurt: "Come in, child! Pour me a cup of tea!"
She said and walked up the stairs, opened the door and walked away Enter the house.
A few locks of hair were in front of him, and Arthur didn't dare to push them aside. What just happened continued as if he had been remembered. Starting from the corner of his left eye, something gradually escaped from the world, slid to the right, and swept past. Thin hairs, without any obstruction, are as soft as water or gauze, detached, and vanished.
Arthur opened his eyes wide and found that in his field of vision, everything had turned into one color, instead of gray.
He turned his head and looked into the courtyard, where his former and future home was hidden behind a few oak trees, looking through the window, it was dark inside, silent and cold in the summer.
He can't see the color.
(-4)
Arthur stood in the doorway, watching the classroom bathed in the morning light, with pale light reflected from the table, the curtains fastened on either side of the window, and the classroom was empty. He walked in slowly, holding on to the door frame, and there was now one person.
The blackboard eraser was placed on the lecture table, and Arthur picked it up and put it back in the blackboard slot. The dust rose and danced up and down in the beams of sunlight passing through the window, with an invisible pattern.
With his schoolbag on his back, he followed the aisle formed by the desks to the back of the classroom. The last row by the window belongs to him. Sitting here can avoid the sight of the supervisor, and can also see the scenery outside the window.
Arthur sat in his seat, took out the picture book he borrowed yesterday from his schoolbag and prepared to put it on the desk. In addition to professional books, newspapers, and literary works, the school library also has a wealth of picture books, which he occasionally borrows to read. The lights at home are always dim, and reading dense words is very tiring, so he likes these picture books. They usually Draw simple patterns and write few words. So they express more meaning than can be seen.
He took out the picture book, it was Innocenti's "House", each picture shows the different postures of the protagonist in different seasons and years, this house has lived from the beginning of the twentieth century to the present, This book is reassuring.
Then Arthur opened the board on the desk and saw the textbook inside was poured black with ink. In the morning light, they can no longer reflect any light.
"Don't you have a dad?" All day, Arthur waited for someone to ask him this, even though everyone knew the answer, but unexpectedly didn't ask him, it was ignored instead, Arthur was completely ignored, excluded , In the group activities of the physical education class, no one was in a group with him. He sat on the bench and watched others play. The scores of the two groups rose little by little. The score cards were flipped from time to time. Shoes, I found that my shoes were broken. At the junction of the front upper and the sole, a gap was widely cracked, like an open mouth. Arthur tried to put his fingers through the "mouth", and was pierced by the thumbtack inside. Nail seam.
He ate lunch by himself, and two groups of people passed by. The first group poured the leftover stewed and mushy cabbage on his plate, and the second group poured out the edible things on the plate and the first group. All the cabbage left for the help fell on his pants, and they did it without sneering, without extra gestures, not even a word, it all seemed natural, it became a trash can, and Arthur was like Silent like a trash can, he was scolded when he got home that night.
Arthur once had a dream that he wanted to be a violinist, he didn't need to be high enough to enter the Philharmonic Orchestra, as long as he could make a living, or even as long as he could, he was willing to leave this place and travel around with his violin, Become a wandering artist. This dream was taken away by my father and brother, Arthur watched the car drive away that day, the people in the car did not turn back to answer his call, nor waved goodbye to him, they never saw each other after that, like a memory always remain in the past.
Arthur no longer touches the violin, but he will show a vague desire for things like strings, or sounds that are sharp no matter how they are adjusted. These abstract things have no place in life for the time being, so Arthur will The longing is buried deep in my heart, day after day, like the bullying of those in the school.
This situation was broken by chance. At noon that day, Arthur was still eating alone. He suddenly sat across from him. He raised his head and looked at him inadvertently. The other person had an outstanding face. Arthur didn't mean to communicate. He just glanced at it and immediately threw himself into his lunch. At this moment, the man said, "They've always been annoying, right?"
"Who?" Arthur raised his head again, He noticed that there was no lunch in front of the boy.
"Those who bully you." He frowned.
Arthur turned back cautiously, those classmates who often bullied him were sitting at the dining table behind him talking and laughing, Arthur turned back cautiously and looked at the boy silently. The other party shrugged his shoulders handsomely and helplessly: "Don't want to express an opinion? Well, are you free tonight?"
Arthur still looked at him cautiously, but he was always free, so he nodded slightly.
"Very well, let's go together?"
Really? Arthur stared at him suspiciously and nodded again.
"That's it!" He gave Arthur a slack hammer on Arthur's shoulder with a fist, then stood up and pushed the chair away.
Arthur sat alone, wanting to laugh badly, but his cheeks huddled together in pain.
/ Evil is the face of the devil is detestable /
/ The disgust of only a glimpse comes from the heart /
/ The face is familiar after seeing it for a long time /
/ I can endure it and feel pity and embrace it /
This poem is engraved on a slate The slate was placed diagonally in front of a stone statue with an indifferent face. Alfred read the words on it slowly, translated them into English and told Matthew, who was standing next to him, dressed as most North American As casual as anyone, Alfred's black short trench coat looks old-fashioned compared to him, even though he is the younger of the two.
Just after Alfred found out about his sexuality, Matthew Williams came to Germany to find him, and by then he had succeeded his father as a pastor in Vancouver, just for a short time. The visit was far away and the purpose was simple. When Alfred met his former friend, he was not surprised by the great changes that had taken place in him. The silent films of the last century were dim, stiff, and without sound. He relived the past like rewinding, and then the past really turned into a movie.
Like himself, Matthew's face has changed a lot. He only left a little shadow on that face in his childhood, but he still has a pair of blue eyes that are often seen, and short blond hair with fluff. There is a kind of calm wisdom in him, as if the years of practice in the church have made him accustomed to suffering, suffering from others.
If the guess is correct, Matthew is also one of the people who killed his mother back then.
"We have read this poem." Matthew concluded after listening.
"When did we read it?" Alfred wondered.
"Not me and you, but with my parishioners."
"Does this poem add anything to your teaching?"
"It keeps us from living evil, and living evil."
"Evil "
Sacrifice, for example."
"Don't be stupid, who would think of sacrifice."
"Of course it's you. Alf, why do you think I came to see you suddenly? The school notified your father last month. , he found me again."
"He gave you money?"
"Stop kidding! Of course I volunteered."
"Then you are really at a loss, I have nothing to do, you don't need to persuade me, I am only responsible for you My guide, I'm not responsible for being your believer."
"Alfred!" Matthew frowned and shouted, but he looked around immediately, and his expression softened when he turned back: "Why on earth did you kill yourself? I don't Remember you had this tendency before."
"...Matthew, we haven't seen each other for a long time, and my heart has not been unraveled."
Matthew stared at him silently, and finally whispered: "Your Mom?"
"Yes, my mom." Alfred also whispered, the two of them were talking to themselves as if they were afraid of waking the dead.
"I've never understood why she died, the only sure thing is that she doesn't love me anymore." "Alf..." "But last month, I got it, I was in that place watching a bunch of men I didn't know... There was a reaction. I know why she hit me when I was playing games with you, and after that she didn't say goodnight to me, and three months later she ended herself because I'm gay and like her husband only to men Interested!" At the end, his face turned red, and he spoke faster and faster, almost wanting to shout, Matthew grabbed his shoulder and reassured him: "I know, I know."
"Matthew... I will definitely go to hell."
"You can't judge yourself, only God can judge you, it's not your fault, what you have to do is make up for her." "She died." "Then make up for the world, make up for the whole world. Universe. Do everything you can to make amends."
Alfred looked at him fixedly, and Matthew said slowly: "But don't hurt yourself anymore, it's not worth it, and it won't make up for anyone. You should be an angel, stay away from The devil."
The boy asked Arthur to be called Spiegel. Before getting to know Spiegel, Arthur was used to being alone, but the two of them were inseparable for a while, and Arthur was used to acting together after a long time. He thought that this might be the only one when he was in school. friend.
Spiegel is funny, but he hardly talks to anyone other than Arthur, and he always finds Arthur alone and tells him something new.
"I know an interesting place, do you want to go together?" "What is it?" "Do you want to watch it?" "Yes."
Rothenburg has a theater dedicated to showing underground movies, and many people have nowhere to release their desires People call it a cult holy place, but every time you go to this place, you will evoke more desires, and more desires need more exciting channels to vent, and gradually decline, and you will never be able to enter the brimstone fire of hell. calm. But for young people this is heaven on earth.
A blurry and blooming thing was thrown onto the screen from the depths of the film. As more and more things were thrown up, Arthur gradually recognized that it was the human fat intestines and heart, lungs and liver. The wailing of the lungs, the serrations rubbed against the iron table, and sparks splattered a string of sparks. This sacrificial ceremony was bloody and pious. The cross with the name of the devil was hung upside down on the wall, the tears of the black candle were condensed on the candlestick, and the altar was filled with bright red. The fruit and juice flowed down the table to the ground, winding thinly and slowly to meet the blood.
"How about this?" "It's scary.." "Horrible?" "I think it should be scary?"
Spiegel stopped talking, and the two leaned back in their chairs and fell silent. In the world of the film, sacrifices Gradually giving up the struggle, only the chanting of the believers resounded in the high cave, a special effect of smoke surged from the ground, and the center of the magic circle that summoned the devil also released more and more intense white light.
Arthur suddenly blocked his eyes.
"That kid over there! Hurry up! You're not old enough to watch a movie of this level!" A beam of light shines from a distance, it's an expelling light.
It was the theater administrator who came to check the tickets. Arthur immediately jumped from his seat and ran down the aisle with his face covered. He wondered why Spiegel didn't run away with him. Maybe the administrator didn't see him.
Not only this kind of transgression, Spiegel and him have many similar hobbies. Under Spiegel's recommendation, Arthur got another picture book that made Innocent mention it, which became Arthur's favorite after that. There is not one of the picture books in the book. It is very short and called "The Star of David". The yellow five-pointed star on the cover is nondescript. Later, Arthur realized that it was a combination of the shape of the five-star and the color of the great Jewish satellite. Star of David.
The picture book is incredibly short. There are only ten pictures. The story is also very short. The story of the train for the survival of the child, the first reading will only think that this is just a memoir with the label of family love and trauma, but if you think about it carefully, you will find that the climax of this story has an almost infinite effect on empathy.
Arthur watched it over and over twenty times, almost breaking his heart in the end, but he resisted every urge caused by a sore nose. After all, he didn't want people to know that he was moved by a picture book, even if Not even Spiegel.
Arthur didn't want anyone to laugh at the feelings he gave. But he clearly underestimated what Spiegel knew about himself. The mother had rarely come into his house since she was ill, and only on a frightening rainy night would she perhaps run to her son's room to make sure he was still there, and that day he invited Spiegel to his room, He opened the window towards the yard and let the other party step on the wooden boxes piled up at the back of the house. The two of them were nestled in the thin and light-transmitting sheets, reading one book after another with a flashlight, and the light of the flashlight penetrated outside. , the two half-lying on the bed were like a wriggling ghost, Spiegel took the "Star of David" pressed at the bottom and pointed to the cover: "Are you crying?" The little teasing made Arthur feel embarrassed, and he shook his head in denial.
"You must be feeling bad, who did you think of that paragraph?" he said, turning to a page that happened to show a baby being thrown out of a train wrapped in thick velvet cloth.
Abandoning the most precious person is just to let him survive and live better, but at the moment of abandonment, thoughts and regrets immediately begin to grow, occupying the body and mind. I want to die with you.
"I haven't figured out.... who can choose."
Why tell the dream to others? It cannot be shared with a second person like death, and the dreamer can only bear it alone, chewing on its meaning, asking what it wants to tell itself and how it should be done. Instead of writing it out and turning it into someone else's story.
After Alfred said goodbye to Matthew and got on the tram, he already regretted the meeting. Matthew's words were like a riddle, with no answers, only countless questions.
As the tram passed between the two buildings, the sun fanned out over the carriage, and for a brief moment he was bathed in light, before the tram returned to the shadows again.
A middle-aged woman got on the bus between the stations, looking like the mother of an older child. Alfred watched her walk past his seat, covered her face and mumbled, "Mom, how can I compensate you."
(-3)
Children need the guidance of their mothers to grow up, but even if this link is missing, growth cannot be reversed. The first of the two to grow is...
Alfred looks at the clock on the wall again, this is his tonight The second beer, but it was the fifth time he looked at his watch, and this kind of party couldn't make him happy.
His friend Elizabeth was leaning against the wall not far away, talking to a tall boy. In the dim light, Alfred saw that they were both smiling and flirting, and the cups in their hands became The decoration, only when there is a chat or laughter, will I raise it to my lips and take a sip. I guess I have long forgotten what I am drinking.
Elisabeth Hedwig, a middle-class Hungarian girl, pampered makes her rebellious, hot and bold. As early as at the college entrance party, she came out gorgeously and kissed the Belgian girl who was in charge of the drum set on the stage. Winning off the field was a vulgar whistle.
The blond boy, with the face of a pure Aryan (although this word for racial classification is not popular now), the name is also an authentic German flavor, Ludwig Beshmit, who likes to study in the same The school is two years higher than their older brother, which is well known for a long time.
Such two people can't even be rivals in love, let alone lovers, so Alfred wondered what they were talking about.
Elizabeth seemed to feel the gaze staring at her, raised her head to face Alfred's gaze, she immediately waved her hand excitedly, Alfred moved his eyes away and pretended not to see, but out of the corner of the eye he could still see the two of them , The girl seemed to pat the other person's shoulder, and then walked towards this side, Alfred lowered his head and fiddled with the wine glass, showing an unexpected appearance.
"Hey!"
Elizabeth finally came to this side and touched him with her elbow: "Why are you alone?"
Alfred gave her a gloomy look, the light shining on Elizabeth's makeup, she looked radiant.
"I've always been like this," he replied sullenly.
Seeing such a friend, Elizabeth could only shut up, and the two leaned together to drink silently. In fact, there was nothing wrong with what she and Ludwig were talking about just now, but she knew the reason why Alfred was depressed.
Elizabeth suddenly tilted her neck and drank all the wine in the glass. The spicy taste of the beer hadn't disappeared. She whispered,
"I thought this would make you happy, sorry."
"You know it can't." Alfred Answered in a low voice, still staring elsewhere.
"I-I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you here alone, Alfred."
This sentence made Alfred turn most of his body to face Elizabeth: "I'm not because of this, Isa, I just Didn't want to come, didn't want to come in the first place."
"I know, I know, so I'm sorry."
"Okay, it's okay."
Alfred put the cup on a small table, turned and walked towards the gate behind the dancing crowd go with.
"Alf!" Seeing this, Elizabeth put down her glass and quickly followed.
Just as she ran outside the door, Elizabeth shuddered, and hurriedly hugged her arms and wrapped her coat tightly around her body. The warm atmosphere of the party made her forget the cold outside. Alfred knew that she was coming out. Standing next to the letterbox, lightly treading on the surrounding weeds with the toes of his shoes.
"Let's go without saying hello to Mr. Roderich in advance, he'll get angry at the grades." Elizabeth walked over quickly, her heels clacked on the ground, she was a little annoyed, but she remembered that she made Alfred When De accompanies himself and leaves him, he feels uncomfortable.
Alfred didn't answer her. He looked up at the sky. The night sky in Munich was pure in color, like fine black velvet. The air was cold and fresh. Don't know the names of those stars.
Being able to become friends with Elizabeth is entirely out of the goodwill of the other party. If he hadn't had that experience, he might have walked alone on the university campus.
Alfred studied medicine and Elizabeth majored in psychology. In an elective course on borderline personality disorder, the two of them happened to sit together. Elizabeth borrowed a computer from Alfred to check the information, so they mixed up. A familiar face.
After class, the teacher was gossiping and sent an MMPI test as homework to the public mailbox. Alfred didn't care.
As a psychology student, we all know that every question in MMPI has a point, a senior psychologist can get any score according to personal preference, he/she can pretend to be a paranoid or a hysterical patient, so A test in hand is equivalent to mastering a real or false personality.
But Alfred didn't cheat. He didn't even get a full 5 on the lying question. What he didn't expect was that his test answer sheet was directly uploaded to public resources by him (who might be playing a prank?), although it was anonymous. , but everyone is still talking about who the owner of this test is. Maybe it belongs to an extroverted activist, maybe it belongs to a ghost guarding the corner of the classroom, because according to the positive value, the tester is very likely to be a homosexual.
At this time, Elizabeth helped Alfred, and it was the teacher's elective course. She took the initiative to ask to take the stage, and the test was shaken out by her very decently. After listening to this, the classmates understood it. Yu Xin's appearance, after all, Elizabeth's public coming out of the closet was widely circulated at the time. Germany was no better than some other countries in that she still had subtle feelings on this matter, but her frank and frank statement made this subtlety look dirty. So we don't mention anything about testing.
Elizabeth was a hot-tempered girl, but Alfred felt the long-lost maternal care from her, and it was for this reason that he would hardly refuse Elizabeth's requests, such as accompanying him to such a party.
"Alf...Actually, you don't need to be responsive to me, you know, I'm just worried about you." Elizabeth walked beside her, her brown hair was layered and shiny in the collar at the neck, as if a Hold the luxurious silk.
"It really doesn't matter, Isa. In fact, everyone is worried about me now, including Ivan. In fact, you should know that I don't need to be treated specially. You are a psychology student." "You are really harsh, You are a medical student, but you don't cherish life." "...Forget it, I want to go to a movie." "I'll accompany you?" "No, you have to go back to the party, myself. go with."
Alfred sat in the cinema to watch a movie with a ticket of 7 euros. The literary and artistic sentiments had no special effects. The male protagonist made a landscape painting for the heroine with broken seashells picked up by the sea. The heroine hugged him shyly. The waves behind him swept the sand and gravel to make a lingering sound, the dark clouds like velvet slowly spread over the sky, and a seabird swept across the sky.
This scene is touching and romantic, but Alfred can't forget the scene that occupied the picture a minute ago. The shells make it look like broken mountains and rivers, and the slender traces are like tree roots and old oil paintings, and the fear is vaguely long. Into his heart, after realizing the ominousness of the painting, Alfred left the theater early.
After returning to the dormitory, Alfred turned on the computer, and the main unit hummed lowly. After a few seconds, a thin white light traversed the screen, like opening a treasure chest, and the place where the light traveled became wider, and then After another ten seconds, the bright screen slowly dimmed, revealing the icons on the desktop and above. Those icons were very common, except for the usual software, only some files were left.
Alfred stared at the icon at the end of the second line, which was displayed as a web page. The screen brightness was not high, and a dim light spot gathered on his glasses. How long, some memories quietly floated up from the water, he remembered his mood when he visited this website for the first time, like stealing forbidden fruit, like discovering a new world, he quickly clicked on every webpage, browsed hungrily, grief, Injury, despair, self-defeating, this is a spiritual journey to find the same kind. Everyone here has turned the id and death instinct into pictures and made them clear to the world. Alfred holds the mouse and clicks on the website.
In fact, it was only here that he could find some solace.
Arthur has also grown up, this is just a physical growth, a compulsive right given by nature - he has to celebrate his birthday, but it is difficult to cope with the physical and mental changes, he is alone, he is withdrawn and cold, in fact, Arthur just lives in his own world excessively. Elizabeth restricts his going out and binds his actions with love, and she herself is a sick person. Over time, Arthur has a hard time reading the hearts of normal people. He knows nothing about common sense. , once the spiritual world is involved, people who know him will definitely say that he is gradually hollowed out, although only Spiegel is such a person.
After all these years, Spiegel stayed with him.
He grew from a boy to a man, his voice thickened, his shoulders widened, he was still thin compared to his peers, and time may have changed his appearance and hairstyle, but the traces of childhood are always hidden somewhere, such as after a broken nail has healed , will always form a thin white line at the break.
Arthur likes to repeat his youthful behavior, going to the library to borrow books, and occasionally visiting that theater. Its original business has been banned and replaced by old black and white movies of the last century. He does not smoke, drink, or make new friends. Friends, no parties or dates. He is still a lonely middle school student in the school, not an adult.
After graduating from school, Arthur took a job as a clerk in a small company. He usually used a computer to enter data and forms for others. Every time someone gave him a task, he couldn't help but look back at him. , because they look like a colleague who has always been melancholy and sluggish, and the profile of the profile is very elegant and attractive, and some people even offered to help him draw a profile portrait.
This job allows him to support himself and his mother, which somewhat dispels some of the shadows that follow from the past. Their lives gradually stabilized and became as calm as stagnant water.
But every weekend, Francis comes.
Arthur remembered the day when his mother's condition deteriorated, the afternoon haze was heavy, dark clouds with gold rims piled up in the sky and approached Rothenburg, the radio repeated that there might be rain in the next two hours, the air smelled of dampness, restless disturbed.
At the time, Arthur was kneeling on the ground to put together a jigsaw puzzle of Vincent van Gogh's self-portrait, the light shining on the picture through the dirty window, and the artist who had lost an ear looked so sad. The trick of jigsaw puzzles is to work out the outermost border first, and then slowly fill it in, which is how almost everyone socializes, from the outside to the inside.
Sometimes when he was tired, Arthur straightened up and looked out the window. There was a small road. In the usual times, when a car was occasionally driven, it was dusty, and few people passed there.
When Arthur bowed his head, out of the corner of his eye caught a dark shadow, the other person was standing outside the window, peeking into the house through the window, the edges were blurred, the color was dark, and he was as thin and tall as the legendary Spider-Man, seemingly through the eternal glass window Monitor every move here, casting shadows on the soul.
Perhaps due to the low pressure, Arthur suddenly felt a suffocation, he coughed a few times, and put his hands on the puzzle.
There are 1,000 pieces in this puzzle, most of them are turbid color blocks and strange shapes. Arthur spelled out three sides of the square. When facing the bottleneck of the last side, anxiety caused him to bite his nails unconsciously.
It's hard for him to get a little psychological compensation from the little things to replace the lack of affection, but he has to.
Mother fell into a drowsiness when she was a girl red, the whole house was silent, Arthur stood up pale, and slowly rubbed against the rocking chair made by his mother to sniff her, but the sharp whistling from the kitchen frightened him to stop, Ya. Se quickly looked at the source of the sound, with the horror on his face of being caught in the underground cinema.
It was the sound of the kettle boiling, and it carried the sound of rain that suddenly erupted outside the house, with indescribable horror and urgency.
"Mom?!"
The sound of rain covered the sky.
Half an hour later, "Dangdangdang!"
Arthur opened the door and saw a body wrapped in a raincoat standing outside the door. He didn't know what to say for a while. The rain hat was so low that he couldn't see the person who came. Face.
"The Rostows?" the guy under the rain hat said, and Arthur nodded.
"A stroke patient had a transient fainting? How is she now?"
"Fortunately..." The
other party seemed to smile happily: "Fortunately, the map is detailed, so I still found it under such heavy rain." Tick tock want to go inside.
"Excuse me..." "I am the nurse sent by the hospital, and I will take care of your mother in the future. Hello, are you the master of this family?"
Francis is a failed painter, after realizing that he has no connection with the art of painting , he went to the funeral home as a makeup artist, and later became a nurse. His daily job was to instruct Elizabeth to take medicine, massage her stiff limbs, and sometimes show off her cooking skills.
Francis came from Tours, France, which is surrounded by many fruits, pleasant scenery and abundant products, but he abandoned all this and came to Rothenburg. Although it is also a beautiful city, it is not as good as the climate there. Francis did not explain. The reason for leaving home, every time he smiled and changed the subject.
This soothing brought temporary peace, and Francis took the place of his early father, giving Arthur the care he lacked. There was always teasing and childish malice in his eyes, but Arthur knew it was fake. Francis was a good man, better than most, honest and frank, he took care of Elizabeth for a long time, had known the mother and son for almost ten years, he still regarded Arthur as a little boy, and Arthur knew about Francis' life Very little, that's enough, that's safe.
There was a loud noise from next door that drowned out the sound of the TV, and Elizabeth called him again, shouting that her arm hurts and that Francis must come. Arthur called Francis, and a quarter of an hour later, the knock on the door rang on time.
Francis brought hot compress equipment, settled Elizabeth, and the two came downstairs. The lights in the whole room were dim, and the living room was no exception. Francis made a pot of tea and put it on the table, and chatted with Arthur.
"Arthur, are you too attached to this place?" Francis asked, staring at him. Arthur didn't know how to answer, so he said, "I love my mother."
"But you shouldn't be so alone."
"...I Not alone." Arthur muttered in a low voice and raised his head, he saw Spiegel standing outside the window looking in, was that the dark shadow he saw when he was a child?
"No no no, mom doesn't count."
"...Maybe I'll find someone when she dies."
"You should, your mom is indeed getting worse."
Then they stopped talking, just watching silently teapot.
When they went up to replace Elizabeth's equipment, the two passed a few rooms. Francis pointed to the name tag on the door and asked why this was not removed. Arthur looked at it and saw Scott's name on it.
"This is what my mother put it on, she won't be happy if you take it off."
Francis nodded, and then he saw Arthur's house number and stood there without leaving:
"Can I take a look?" he asked without question: "You know, you can tell a person's story from the bedroom."
Arthur was silent for a moment, and twisted the door handle for him.
This is a neat, dim, featureless, emotionless bedroom with a shell-shaped sconce, with a small lamp inside, casting a dim warm light on the wall through the glass cover, reminiscent of five The cells of the Hay Prison centuries ago.
Before Francis came, Arthur was sitting in front of the TV, holding the remote control nervously. He was attracted by the picture on the screen. It was a film about sadism. The low cost made the picture vulgar. Prying off a man's fingernails with an awl, Arthur doesn't like the blood, he likes what comes next - the sadist eats the pried off nails with blood. The constant screams from the sound made the room more like a prison cell.
"Sorry sorry, I shouldn't be watching this!" Arthur embarrassedly went to unplug the power, but was stopped by Francis, he walked around the room for a while, and came to a conclusion: "You should break the window to let the sunlight in."
Ya Se shook his head: "My room doesn't face the sun."
"Well...do you remember the doll I gave you? The tin soldier doll I gave you when I was thirteen."
"I remember."
"It was in Where?"
"..." Arthur avoided Francis' eyes and looked aside. Spiegel, who was standing outside the door, entered the house at some point. He sat on the bed, between the two of them, holding hands. Holding his chin supported, he waited for the answer with interest.
"I ate it." Hearing this, Spiegel smiled.
"Eat it? All of it?"
"Yes, cut it piece by piece and eat it."
[Why do you do this. ] Alfred typed slowly and pressed send.
【what why. 】Someone replied to him.
【Why abuse your own body. ]
[Just to stay awake. ]
[…]
[Abusing the body, keeping the soul intact. 】
【I see. 】
【How about you? Why are you here again? ]
[I also want to keep my soul intact. ]
Elizabeth's illness was indeed getting worse. Arthur took half a day off every day to take care of her at home. She slept more and more time, and finally almost lost her sobriety and confused day and night. Her voice was flat and emotionless. Her face was also expressionless, her eyes were sluggish, and she spied on other people's behavior through the air. Her voice was dead and terrifying, like a wooden frame blown by the wind knocking on the wall behind.
"Arthur, Arthur, come here, dear boy, don't go, I'll die without you. Promise me never leave me."
She needs me, but she doesn't love me. Arthur didn't answer her, just repeated these two sentences silently, without a ripple in his heart.
The rain and snow in April are hitting the land aimlessly.
"It's raining." One day when Arthur was cutting bread, Elizabeth, who was sitting on the sofa, suddenly spoke. Arthur turned his head to look at her in surprise, and found that his mother was also watching him: "When this kind of rain falls, go to sea This is a legend."
Her voice was calm, like the sound of running water from a deep valley. But Arthur didn't understand what she was talking about.
The wind is no longer fighting, the rain is falling, and the white noise of the rain is reassuring. Arthur suddenly remembered that he didn't pay for the things he bought on credit at the store, so he put on a raincoat and went out, leaving Elizabeth at home alone.
But that day, when Elizabeth opened the door, she happened to find a leak, and the sound of clattering caught her attention. She stood up, leaned against the wall to find the loudest place, and finally moved to a door, which was the entrance to the basement, nothing special. , she didn't bring a light, but just walked down the stairs in disrepair, three feet of rain in the basement.
Since then, her and her son's lives have been changed.
Arthur stood on the steps watching the coffin being loaded into the car.
Losing a loved one feels like a coat you've been wearing for over a decade suddenly falls to the ground and disappears, and you still seem to remember the feeling of grabbing at the corner of it, yet as if you've never owned it.
Without anyone to accompany Arthur suddenly back to his teenage years, father and brother carried the violin in the car, everything was as ethereal as a dream, the engine started, everything was taken away, the feeling of doomed to lose made him Suddenly I realize that I can't stand being alone.
Turning back to the house and closing the door, leaning against the door, he was the only one left in the house. He pulled his hair in pain and yelled, "Spiegel!"
This time Spiegel didn't show up, he didn't listen to himself call. He called Francis again, just as he had called the emergency center the day they first met, and the call went through, Arthur holding the microphone at a loss for words.
"Arthur?"
"Mom...she died." The
silence lasted for nearly half a minute, Arthur made sure that the other party was still there, and Francis let out a long sigh on the other end of the phone, Arthur thought to himself, he Wanting to comfort me, want to say something useful, who knows that the other party suddenly said: "Then now you can leave the boy and become a man."
What does this mean?
"Do you know why I left Tours in the first place?" Francis paused and whispered: "The reason is very simple, we have five children in our family, and one day I got lost, but no one found it, and no one Came to me, the people I met on the road never asked me where I was from, but someone always gave me money, I walked a long time on my own, got in a van, and then I came here, and was taken in by a couple, the woman She was thrown out by her mother on the way to the concentration camp, and she was adopted by her own family."
Arthur was speechless, he suddenly remembered the "Star of David"
"Now, I know where I came from. , is capable of going back again, but I can never go back again, Arthur, you understand, growth is irreversible, you have to accept."
"Beep beep—"
Arthur put down the phone. Only then did he realize that Francis was right, that he had always been a child, he might believe in God, but God would not save him, God would not bless the lonely bird, and would not give hope to those who are immersed in the past. Maybe something should be given up in order to continue, to find someone who needs more, something must be given up, and Elizabeth stayed in this house forever because she refused to give up on herself.
He thought of Spilger. In the future, there will be no mirror that can reflect his childhood. For those born in darkness, light is short-lived, and night is eternal.
He walked down the stairs slowly, the broken places were mended, the water was drained, he walked down step by step, into the deep darkness, and pressed his forehead against the cold wall, there seemed to be water gurgling from far away Flowing out, hearing the sound but not seeing the source, he was baptized a second time in the sound of the water.
Water can be either amniotic fluid or the sea of consciousness.
Arthur pondered silently, feeling that the world was plunged into pitch-black water, with an unknown light source shining from above, he opened his eyes and slowly moved upwards, and saw Spiegel swimming over like a fish, and the way the other party paddled the water with the children. The style is flexible, like waving goodbye. So Arthur reached out and touched his palm lightly. He quickly swam to the top of Arthur's head. The white light shone through the water. Arthur stared at the light source and the slowly rising figure of Spiegel. until it disappears.
[Goodbye...]
Arthur raised his head sharply, panting like drowning.
He remembered the question Spiegel had asked him that day, when he was suddenly pulled off the blanket before he had time to think, and when his mother was still standing, her chin was above her eyes, she looked at him coldly and asked, "I Didn't I tell you to sleep, why are you still reading with your flashlight on?" Arthur wanted to tell Spiegel to leave quickly, but when he glanced beside him, he didn't see anyone, the light of the flashlight hit the wallpaper, and there was no light. The place appears dark and void.
[Your name is Spiegel, Arthur Spiegel. I created you, my friend, I don't need you anymore, goodbye. ]
Arthur calmly said goodbye to the past, wondering who could be his true companion.
(-2)
[I long to find a companion who will not leave me, but become one with me. ]
Arthur came to work early, the office seemed to be filled with cigarette smoke from last night, everyone said good morning to each other, Arthur put the lunch box and paper package on the table.
"Good morning." A voice sounded behind him, and Arthur turned to see a female colleague who leaned against the door and tilted her head to say hello to herself.
"Good morning."
"You look very tired."
"I was busy last night, and I made lunch for you."
"Oh my God!" The female colleague seemed surprised, she looked at the table, there were four computers on it, among them Three old-fashioned machines hummed together as fans, a lamp, and there seemed to be no sign of lunch, but she shrugged and said, "That's great! We'll have it at noon."
"Yeah." Arthur watched her leave and turned to face his desk, rubbing the paper bag with his palms uneasily.
In fact, he brought quite a few things, bacon and bread in a paper bag, in addition to small sausages with boiled cabbage, poached eggs, boiled potatoes and boiled strawberries, the woman who greeted him in the morning His colleague smiled at him as he sliced the bread: "This tastes good, what is it made of?"
"Heirloom recipe."
"No no no you have to tell me I can't taste what it's made of." "Come on, Arthur He won't treat you with human flesh, and he's not Hannibal!"
Arthur smiled reservedly, silently observing the masseter muscles of the people around him bulging from chewing, the expression of people eating animals is content, but Human beings are also meat.
[There is something growing in my heart that needs to be seen]
Arthur is standing in front of the desk cutting something. There are many picture albums he read when he was a child on the table, each of which is fragmented, and the cut pages are spelled out with a pothole. , the mouth and eyes are too large, the bridge of the nose that connects them is too thin, the chin is twisted, the limbs are deformed, and two pages form his torso. This man looks split and weird, but the book is not edible.
Another time, for two weeks in a row Arthur collected bread cores and used them to form a rough male body without limbs and head, Arthur cut its torso with a bread knife for dinner, no side dishes, no cream, he Imagine that what you are chewing is a living body and let out a sigh.
Arthur felt like Wagner in Faust, creating countless hormonal crus, the only difference being that he ate them.
[This does not satisfy me, I want to eat a real person. 】
The Internet is indeed a free place. Compared with reality, it can accommodate more people. Arthur sat in front of the computer and watched his announcement appear at the top of the forum. The moment he issued it, it was like tying his chest. As the three circles of iron hoops exploded one after another, Arthur felt an unprecedented ease.
After about three minutes, the number of emails in the inbox increased rhythmically. These emails came from different places and had different topics. Arthur looked through it roughly. One third of them thought he was joking, and one third of them thought he was joking. Upon inquiring about the reason for his plan, and only a fraction of the remaining third sent photos agreeing to be his "meat", Arthur chose someone who lived in Bamberg because there Close to Rothenburg.
The first guy who came was very young, his skin was slightly dark, and he seemed to be of Spanish descent. For some reason, looking at the other party's ambiguous smile and full of tattoos on his arms, Arthur felt that he was very unreliable and could not guess his inner feelings. true and false.
But he still took the young man named Antonio to his remodeled basement. The surrounding walls were covered with insulation blankets, a large iron table with a chopping block was placed in the center, and a bathtub was leaning against the corner. Floating on it....
"I said, you are so cool! The props are very realistic." The other party complimented enthusiastically. Arthur didn't answer, just let him take off his clothes and lie on the cutting board, wrap him around him to keep fresh Membrane, the other party did as he did, very much in line with the appearance of the to-be-slaughtered person. It was the wheezing in his mouth that annoyed Arthur, and he thought it wouldn't make it hard for people to breathe.
"Most of the meat is here." Arthur used a black mosaic pen to draw a circle and shade the front of Antonio's thin thighs: "And the buttocks" "Yeah.. there!" Antonio seemed excited interface.
"The meat is thick enough to make a steak." "Yeah, tender and juicy!"
Arthur didn't care if it was just screaming, but his gasps got louder and Arthur wanted to shut him up, But he just opened his mouth, and then bent down to get the chain under the chopping block.
"What's that?" "It's the chain that hangs you."
The other party's expression seemed to stiffen, and then he said with a smile; "It's very cold here." "Yes, to keep your meat fresh." Arthur replied without turning his head, and pulled one from under the table a few steps away. Rusty iron bucket: "For blood." Antonio stopped talking, just moaned nervously, and Arthur began to hoist his feet, his moans getting louder with height: "My The brain is beating violently." "That's blood back into your brain." Arthur pulled up again: "When I cut your neck, the blood will spray me all over."
At this time, something unexpected happened to Arthur. , Antonio's moaning turned into a sob, and he cried: "I don't want to do this... This is not what I thought..." Arthur stood there wondering what to do, Antonio raised his head with difficulty and stared with tears in his eyes. Him: "I thought you were just a sadist....I don't want to do that!" He lay down in frustration as he said this, whimpering.
Arthur understood that this person was really unreliable, which disappointed him. He slowly put down Antonio and whispered, "I said it all, I need to be serious."
The second night after the disappointment, Arthur Waiting for the second email.
When he was cleaning the table, the "ding-dong" sound of new mail made him stop, the computer emitted a faint white light, and a dialog box appeared in the center of the screen. Arthur wiped his hands and walked over, and clicked to read with the mouse:
[I will Dedicating myself to you...
This beginning made Arthur's heart beat faster, he quickly covered his face, and after a while, let out a deep sigh, he let go of his hand and looked at the email again:
[I dedicate myself to Here, let you eat me raw.
I'm ready, tonight I'm dripping,
you can trust me, I'm almost swearing in making this decision,
if you really want to do it, you need real victims who come to you willingly , I would like to be that person.
Just hope you're not a prankster and don't disappoint me. 】
Pulling down the picture of the sender, Arthur's fingers trembled, and he stared at the boy sitting in the dim light: his features were blurred, his outline was dull, the color was cloudy, and his sitting posture was nervous and nervous. But it can be seen that he is in his youth, and maybe he has just reached the required age limit, which is terrible, but in line with his expectations, Arthur bit his finger and slowly replied:
——【I just want to eat your meat , I'm very serious, do you have a full body photo? ]
——【Can you see the photo? I just wanted to hope you weren't a prankster, I'm relieved now, I hope you can eat me, this is what I need since I was a child... Are your teeth strong? ]
——[You look delicious, I hope I can eat you, I sent a photo of my teeth]
Both hands are tapping the keyboard in front of them, they are planning the same thing, and they are the only ones who know And the client, maybe after the fact most people will say it was a crime, but there are no victims. Their life trajectories are converging.
——[Very neat, it seems that you have good teeth and can bite my muscles. I would like to see blood flowing from the corner of your mouth. Don't leave anything behind after you kill me]
- [I'll handle it, don't worry. If you can, get off at Rothenburg an der Tauber tomorrow evening at six and I will meet you at the station. Do you want to continue? 】
Click, click, click——
——【I have to compensate to make my soul complete, I have no retreat, only forward. ]
The medieval city had fallen into a dead silence, but Arthur heard a voice gradually ringing: rumbling rumbling—like rolling stones, roaring trains, whimpering lava, growing more violent, rising into longing after wave .
He knew all this was coming, and they were coming to the city by train tomorrow night.
[Someone is looking for me. He is a distant and real companion. 】
The next day, Alfred asked the teacher for half a month's personal leave and got on the train to Rothenburg. The moment the train started, he felt like he was out of his body. He waved his hand and kissed goodbye on the platform in a hurry. There is no one he knows, and no one knows him. The road to redemption is long. He is different from other people. What he wants to go to is the end, which means eternity, and he wants to leave the Red Sea.
"Our Father in heaven, may people honor your name as holy, common sense is not willing to confuse me, I can only choose to stare into the abyss." Arthur stood in front of Elizabeth's tombstone and prayed silently.
I'm not afraid of anything, I'm indestructible, I can face everything. Life must come to an end, my Father, please show me how to keep my light forever.
"One day I'll fall into the dirt, into the darkness, into the fire, amen."
I'm praying, what's wrong with me. What's wrong with me.
Alfred leaned against the car window in vain, and later Elizabeth told him the end of the movie, and she went to see it too, the heroine was seriously ill, withered irreversibly, and the
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