This story doesn't seem to have much to do with the movie, but it reflects the serious unequal relationship that existed before the marriage began. Marriage is not a hero, and you are not anyone's savior.
Let's take a look at what kind of people the male and female protagonists are.
The heroine's name is Cindy, and her youthful appearance is really like a candy, with a rebellious and mischievous appearance under her youthful and quiet appearance. She grew up in a family with a broken marriage relationship. As she said, "the rest of my family (except my grandmother) don't speak, and they shout when they speak." people people. She has the best relationship with her grandmother, taking care of her disabled grandmother, reading to her, and discussing marriage and love with her. She aspires to be a doctor, she has excellent college homework, and her teacher says she has talent. If you only come here, is it portrayed in your eyes as an image of a pitiful but excellent and motivated good girl.
But no, the other side of her is that her private life is a little messed up. She has had sex for the first time since she was 13 years old, and she has not graduated from college. There are about 25 sexual partners in total. After having a relationship with her current boyfriend, she found out that she may be pregnant with EX's child.
The hero Dean is a complete romantic, idealist, and advocating freedom. He was born in a single-parent family. Although his father was a gatekeeper, he was also a "musician" who could play various musical instruments. He inherited his father's literary and artistic skills, painting, singing, playing instruments, and dancing. What's more intimate is that he helped the old man who lived alone to move his house (moving was his job at the time) and helped him clean up the house. The layout was very warm, and he came to visit him later.
There seems to be no problem, but not only that, he did not graduate from high school, and most of the time he dropped out of school because he felt that there was no help for him there. He doesn't like serious and formal jobs, and wants to be free from constraints. When they met, he was helping people move houses. After they got married, he still did the scattered work of helping people paint walls. It was his wife's words, "Every morning after drinking at 8 o'clock, go back to the house." work”, but it was the ideal life in his mind.
The film uses the two clues of reality and memory to proceed synchronously, strips the cocoon, and restores the contrast and changes between the two from love to marriage. It is worth mentioning that the movie's styling is really good, and the sense of age is so strong that I have been entangled, whether the hot and handsome Lan Yin in the memory clip and the bald uncle with brown glasses in the back are the same person. . From the fluffy shawl to the casual braid, the heroine has tiredness written all over her face, the bright and youthful dress has become dull and slovenly, and the loose breast shape is also unobstructed.
Apart from life and marriage, what else can make such a huge change in a person. But when the two came to an end, unlike "Revolutionary Road", the husband and wife played by Leonardo and Winslet did not have a particularly focused focus and contradiction, and it was the trivial and mundane lives that consumed each other. So as Tolstoy said, "Happy families are always alike, and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
The unfortunate beginning of this marriage started when Cindy found out she was pregnant with EX's child and decided to give birth, Bean offered to marry Cindy. The problem isn't that Bean has become the father of his own children, but that the series of unequal relationships that accompany it have been fixed in the marriage.
The first was that Bean was beaten, and he was EX by Cindy's rogue. At that time, he thought it was Bean that caused Cindy to ignore him. As a normal person, being a father who is not his own child is already very aggrieved, but Bean has done a good job. He treats his daughter Frankie as his own. At first, he couldn't imagine that it was not his biological child. And the child is also better than his father, which undoubtedly shows that Dean's father has done a very competent job over the years.
But you'd be lying if you said he didn't mind at all. That's why Cindy said in the car that he met EX, and he reacted so excitedly. At first, I thought this man was too sensitive, but only after understanding the cause can I understand. He has been the child of this stupid man for so many years. Dad, he was misunderstood and beaten at the beginning, but now his wife sees him, and seems to be hiding a little bit. And what irritated him the most was that Cindy said, "You won't feel so bad if you saw him, he's fat", he was poked in his mind, he did Feel so bad, he It's none of my business to refute fiercely, why should I care that he's fat or thin, Cindy said that he should have a sense of superiority, but he not only didn't, on the contrary, this is a long-standing heart disease of Dean.
That's why Dean beat up Cindy's male boss in the hospital. He vented his pent-up emotions on another man who was suspected of cheating on his wife. If he was beaten before, this is a kind of repayment from his heart.
The second is that the world believes that the family is right. Bean only revealed his education and family background when he met his parents, and he also talked about Cindy's future at the dinner table. In fact, this is not a particularly serious problem, but after dinner, Cindy Bean said "I know I'm not good enough for you". From the very beginning of this marriage, it was an unequal relationship. From Bean's point of view, he didn't even think he was worthy of Cindy in a worldly relationship, so he was the father of her child, saved her from distress, and was her knight. , Her hero, it seems that only in this way does he feel that he is worthy of her psychologically, so that even the scars he was beaten are like medals for his bravery.
In those days, Cindy's eyes towards Bean were more grateful and moved to a benefactor. She burst into tears at the wedding. Can you say that it was just because of love?
Therefore, the reasons and psychology of these two mixed together, coupled with their own personalities, have created the status quo of their marriage.
What is the status quo?
1 Lack of sex
At the beginning of the movie Dean is sleeping on the sofa, and the sex between Dean and Cindy in the hotel has also turned into a wrestling like marital rape, Dean growled how many times I have to be rejected, it shows that they lack normal sex life. Dean suggested that going to the hotel was also one of the ways to alleviate the situation, but it didn't work.
2
Not long after the violent language movie started, Dean jumped and scolded swearing in the face of Cindy who was driving too fast; in the audience of his daughter's music performance, Cindy who was late said that she had found the body of a lost dog, Dean whispered. He swears at Cindy for not closing the door properly.
3. The understanding of each other's career and the family role assumed
If the first two are just appearances, then this one occupies a fatally important position in the relationship between the two. First of all, Dean is a person who yearns for freedom at will. He doesn't like stable work, and he doesn't like to make money by "skills". It actually sounds a bit like the idea of Taoism. To be a "useless" person, his talent and ability do not need to be used. For any money, it's just for living, but Cindy obviously doesn't think so. She wants him to find a serious job, but it's not as practical as him to subsidize the family. Up, it's a pity.
And Dean obviously doesn't understand or support Cindy's career. He thinks that she spends a lot of time at work and doesn't have time to share with her, which is the key to their problem. At the beginning of the film, it is implied that Cindy has a good job opportunity, but she has not mentioned it to her husband for a long time, which also reflects her concerns in this regard, because Dean will not support her to a large extent.
This is obviously the life dilemma of a born husband and a WTO wife, and in the family role, Cindy almost bears the double pressure of supporting the family and taking care of the family. Dean's unstable form of work determines that his income cannot be the main income of the family. The source, and family chores like making breakfast, taking care of children's clothes, sending children to school are also undertaken by Cindy, Dean's role is just a big boy, he plays with his musical instruments, does what he likes to be good at, and then is with the children. Play. (So how could the child not be better off with him.)
Just like in the hotel, he was playing with props like a child, making strange noises and enjoying it, Cindy said this: "I thought we came here to get rid of the child and live a two-person world." The implication is that Cindy doesn't like Dean like a teenage boy. In front of this sentence, Cindy also added an interjection "Oh God", and she has even reached the point of disgust and disgust.
But the deepest reason is the heart disease of the two. Dean thinks he is not worthy of Cindy, but he is the father of her child, and he is very good to her daughter, so he is also worthy of her. Equivalent, so he can let himself go and do what he wants to do, as a matter of course. Cindy was grateful to him for saving her at that time, allowing her children to have a father and a family. She felt that she owed him somewhat, so she was reluctant to communicate with her dissatisfaction and kept protesting with a gesture of refusal.
Finally, it's fried!
It was bombed in Cindy's office, Dean was drunk and went to find Cindy who was working, and finally staged a tearful drama, like the gossip that the neighbors talked about who went to her husband's unit to make trouble, but this time The men and women were switched.
Although Dean enjoys enriching his life with his talents, those are not his spiritual support. Just like divorced housewives, we always say that because they have no career, they put all their energy on the family. They think they have worked hard for the family. So much, it deserves the same response in marriage, and Dean too, he thinks it's enough to save you and then love you with all his heart.
But no one is the savior of the world. The girl he saved has long been exhausted by life, and she is no longer what she used to be. It's just that he doesn't want to grow up, and he still wants to be a romantic and free idealist.
Finally, the moment of breaking up came, and the flashback was the clip of the wedding. The rhythm was getting faster and faster, and the frequency was getting higher and higher. I have to say that it was really cruel. The same tears, the same hugs, but the times have changed and can no longer be salvaged.
The last slump fireworks seemed to bid them farewell, watching them drift away in different directions.
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