Wang Xiaobo wrote in the "Golden Age": aging is to press your hands on the beach, and then caress your face, you will feel that this is not your hand, this is not your face, but this is an inevitable existence in the future. God imposes a punishment called senility on each of us. I rubbed my face, but I felt a little lack of collagen, not the rough texture of the gravel. If this punishment is the sword of Damocles hanging over my head, then it may have just broken away from that filament. Fall down at a relatively slow initial speed.
Just because aging is a slow process, so slowly that we have just realized our long-cherished wish for growth, it starts silently. Fortunately, it is so slow that we have time to choose whether the content of life is rich or poor-at least when we were young, we believed in this choice and called it a dream.
There is a scene in the movie "Boyhood": the mother of the protagonist Mason crying bitterly when her son is about to move away, while using a few simple sentences to sum up her life-marriage, childbirth, divorce, get Degrees, sending children to college, and then the funeral-finally she said: I think life will be more than these.
Human beings are all like this. Once upon a time, I also thought there would be more, enough to hold up a good scene. In the teenage years, the teenage years with the longing for growth, each of us has a dream of heroes buried in our hearts, dreaming that life will either be ups and downs like a Hollywood blockbuster, go to heaven and earth, omnipotent; or deep and eternal. Poetry collection movement, with compassion in heart, long song should be weeping.
But not at all. As soon as the restlessness of adolescence is over, people can't wait to degenerate into social animals. Nowadays, I am frying ramen in the kitchen after get off work. Next to me is the shredded cabbage that I just cut, which is meticulous and evenly laid out on a cutting board like a temporary sculpture on the beach. Outside the window, the moon was as cold as water, pouring down on the ground with time, and like any ordinary night, everything came more pale than originally imagined.
Such day-to-day real life is the end of the dream of a hero. People say that the saddest thing in the world is the twilight of a hero, and the second is the marriage of a beautiful woman. It is nothing more than a fall from the peak of life to daily life. . It is true that this kind of fall is frightening. We are afraid of aging and even death. It is better to say that we are afraid of regret. When looking back on our life, we find that our life is highly modular, and compared with others, it is just mass production on a different production line. Of similar products. Yes, I found that my life is no more than these, so I regret it, because I feel that my life is too short because of regret, and I feel that my life is even more meaningless.
After saying goodbye to his mother, Mason drove on the highway to a foreign land. The lyrics of the soundtrack were: Let me go, I don't want to be your hero. This is the sound of broken heroic dreams, and the start of ordinary life—and you and I have forgotten that ordinary is eternal—before this scene, the director used two and a half hours to describe a boy from six The process of growing up to eighteen years old. During this process, Mason asked his father: What is the meaning of all this?
The father smiled. He said: Is the meaning of life important? The important thing is that you feel something.
The word "meaning" has been given too much weight by us, even though the meaning of "meaning" cannot be clearly interpreted. In the composition class of elementary school, the topics that appear most frequently are "Remember a Meaningful Thing", "A Meaningful Visit" or "A Meaningful Day in Summer Vacation". This kind of repetition is used to emphasize the importance of life. significance. It seems that the theme is very emotional, but it has never withstood any scrutiny, because under such a title, it is not surprising what kind of content is narrated. What's the point of making a plate of fried noodles after get off work? Yes, the significance of this dish of fried noodles is: I am self-reliant, I am thrifty and housekeeping, I can take care of myself in life, and I am full of fun in life... As long as I am willing to take the time to deconstruct, everything in my life will show its meaning, not to It’s so grand to save the world, but it’s just the tiny thing that can be seen under the transmission electron microscope.
Just like the process from six to eighteen years old, neither you nor Mason can be earth-shattering-we have never had a vast so-called "meaning", not for a moment. But we are still growing up while enjoying the push of time and space, and finally become rich and full adults, not the most special one who has escaped from the times, but the simplest face in the floating life.
At the end of the film, Mason and his friends are sitting under the celestial sky. They say: We can’t grasp the time, but time grasps us. The relaxed expression on his face seems to have gone through most of my life, and already has a lot. a lot of.
In fact, it is true, the deceased is like a husband, reluctant to give up day and night. We must admit that life is a flowing process that will eventually flow from graceful prosperity to exhaustion and depression. Any attempt to violate this iron law cannot happen, which means that no one can be in the river of life-even if It is an attempt to retrace or stay. The people around you and me come and go-just like those supporting characters in the film are not able to appear in the protagonist's graduation ceremony-but the stories related to you and me all happen in this long river. Upstream, the flow of people is as fresh as ever in spring and summer day and night.
Life and its meaning are contained in these moments, even if these moments do not bring death or take away, it is impossible to construct anyone's heroic dream. Because time has captured them, everything captured by time will become eternal after turning around. To use a four-character proverb that has been abused, this is probably called "live in the present."
Since then, I have gradually ceased to be afraid of aging and the regrets that accompany aging. I have never thought of asking any psychologist or Zhihu netizens such as "I am twenty-eight years old this year, and I often feel that life is meaningless." , What should I do?" question.
Even if I have in my life, it never seems to be more than I imagined.
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