Losing a lot of money, and being too addicted, leading to a mess of work, life, and relationships.
To my family, friends, girlfriends, I told too many lies, about quit gambling, about borrowing money...
Then I was tired of lying, and I couldn’t tell whether I quit gambling (or whether I was gambling or not)
... Maybe For the sake of my inner pride, perhaps to perfuse the pressure of the society, I often lie on gambling, not facing reality, not facing myself.
Because in my heart, I have always believed that my gambling skills are very good, and I will definitely win back the money I lost...
so, I’m still gambling, but I’m not lying anymore (does it mean that I’m more fucked and completely lost? What? I don’t know the answer...)
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But in fact, he dare not face his own weaknesses and lie for himself. Just like at a church exchange meeting, the person who spoke on stage slapped his face every word of self-reflection, but he was unwilling to admit, unwilling to accept, and finally left early.
Alcohol has long ruined his family and ruined the respect that others respected him from the bottom of their hearts. He knew it himself, but he just couldn't change it. It has always been like that.
This reminds me of an example from a junior high school chemistry teacher. I really didn't understand what she was talking about at the time, but now I feel too deeply moved.
The poisonous scorpion wants to cross the river, hoping that the tortoise can help him. He wants to cross the river on the back of the tortoise. The tortoise is unwilling, saying that you are a poisonous scorpion and you will kill me.
So the poisonous scorpion said, I will ride on your back, I won't sting you, or I will fall into the river and drown?
When the tortoise thought about it, it seemed to be the same, there was no problem. He gladly let the scorpion come up.
Then when the scorpion came up, looking at the prey in front of him, he always wanted to sting him. His habits and instincts drove him to sting the tortoise. Although he has been patient and persuaded himself, he still couldn’t hold back. , The poisonous scorpion stung the tortoise to death in the middle of the river, and fell into the river and drowned.
In fact, there is such a person around him, even if he knows that it’s not right to spend time and drink, even if he knows that it’s not good to do his work, even if he knows that there is only one dead end if he doesn’t work hard, even if he knows to continue to indulge, he can only let himself go, even if he knows that he is always hated because of his bad temper. Even knowing that he has a bad personality makes everyone who gets along with him unhappy. But they still can't stop, they can't control themselves, continue down, mess up everything about themselves, they can't face their instincts, can't control him. Even if they change for a while, they will go back and return to the same way after all.
Yes, does anyone want to be a bad-tempered person, a person with weird shortcomings, no one wants to be hypocritical and hypocritical, no one wants to do nothing and do nothing and pursue nothing.
But there are so many people who obviously don't want to, but they keep doing that. Like whip, they know their alcohol and drug addiction, but they can't control him, and can't face him directly.
I? I don't want to mess up everything about myself.
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