110 minutes, my mind was full of him. first love. After four years. I have never forgotten him.
Sullivan's departure, Camille's reluctance does not understand. I always like to be in a heroine's situation and think, what would I do if I were her. Does she look like me. Maybe she loves Sullivan as much as I love him. Anyway, I love him. The one who gave you all you wanted when you were at your purest. Leaving aside betrayal and quarrel, my memory of him is getting better and better, but those unhappy things are always things I don't want to think about or accept. At noon, I woke up from sleep, played "I Miss You So Much", stared at the lyrics on my phone, and let my memory hover. I miss you so much, but I don't show a trace. When I was reading at noon, my friend told me that he was also in the bar last night, just like the last time. I'll be cranky. Did he go to that bar because of me, was it the last time we met again, that table, I would think so. As if he was obsessed with me, I would feel that he still belongs to me. I like him, always have. However, looking at his appearance, thinking about his appearance, I feel that what I like is another impression, a feeling. But his life was so bad, and we were at such an awkward age, and reason kept me from doing something stupid, like confessing to him, this is the first love, you will never forget it, and it will always be beautiful. Is he also like other young couples who have children and get married? If so, I will completely forget him, although I don't want it, I am too chasing after the perfection of feeling. The heroine ends up with an older architect, and she says she loves him too, but not in the same way she loves Sullivan. The male protagonist abandoned her twice, either because he didn't love her, or because he felt that he couldn't be together anymore. The heroine's mother said, why is it still him, when can you forget him. The heroine looked at her mother and did not speak. I know she will never forget. Because that's how I am. I wanted to contact him. I saw that he was unconscious in a bar last time. I knew he was not doing well. My friend said, don't be too soft. I just want to see him get better. Jumping out disturbed my mood. Tried to be a normal friend, it turns out to be impossible, I still can't do it. Will it be better in the future?
Sullivan traveled for 10 months and ended up staying for three years, and I admired the courage to explore the calm. In the last letter he wrote to the heroine halfway through, he said that he didn't want to be with her, not because he didn't love her, but because he wanted peace. That kind of feeling that seemed inexplicable but deeply explored the inner world, I think I too Yes, but I am more determined, I want to have him or even want him to die, but that is the past, now I just want him to be happy, is it true that I have gradually become mature, but in love, especially for the first love , is difficult to say mature. He abandoned her twice, and each time I thought it was reasonable, at least I could guess, first love is like this, it's out of reach. Goodbye, first love. Goodbye, my ex lover.
2013.07.30
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