Four years ago, I first fell into a deep emotional meltdown. Since then, I have been studying psychology. A personality disorder is a type of personality that can never be corrected. I compare and analyze the scale, and once felt that I belonged to borderline personality disorder. I used to feel powerless because of its incurable nature. Now, January 2012, August 2012, and January 2013 to date, I'm once again in a crashing situation.
Growing up, my family said I was a bad boy, said I was hopeless, and said what would happen to a person like me in the future. My family loves me, they just don't express love at all. In their well-meaning but vicious curses, I also developed a self-loathing mentality of inferiority. When I'm down and in bad shape, it's easy for the negative dark energies to devour me.
The heroine said at the end of the film:
Crazy isn't being broken...
... or swallowing a dark secret.
lt's you or me...
...amplified.
lf you ever told a lie...
... and enjoyed it.
lf you ever wished you
could be a child forever.
This is where this film inspires me the most.
Am I really hopeless? of course not.
Aside from always having problems with my family, I get along very well with other people and friends. Although I'm not very social although I'm not very talkative although I don't have many friends. However, they are all very close friends.
am i dark? Of course not.
While it's easy for me to take things to the worst, it's easy to get discouraged, and it's easy to think about the scariest and darkest possibilities. However, I am always willing to believe in the best possible, brightest side.
In order to resist the feeling of helplessness in my heart from childhood to adulthood, I developed the habit of positive thinking.
There are always two sides to the world. The sensitive me is easy to perceive pain, and the other side is that it is easy to perceive kindness and happiness. The easier it is to sink, the greater the gain after going out. The more you understand the darkness of depression, the easier it is to have compassion.
Don't self-label, it's a lazy idea.
Depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder. . . These terms, don't just stick to yourself. Otherwise, it will self-identify and self-suggest, so that it will really become like that step by step.
My biggest problem is escaping. Faced with difficulties, I have no confidence in myself, so I choose to hide in a place where no one sees it, and sink. However, time will not let anyone go. As the years get older, the accumulated problems will become more and more numerous, and they will crush me to death.
Suicide? In fact, I don’t dare to live at all, it is very difficult to live well.
"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness does not receive the light" In the state of sinking, it is actually quite accustomed. Even if you know that this is the rhythm of death, it is really difficult to leave this soft, rotten and comfortable state. Just like drug addicts have a hard time detoxing.
girl, interrupted. The girl who was interrupted.
Most of the girls I know are of good quality, and they are all on their own way of growing up. Comparing them, I have been stagnant for a long time. Especially in the early twenties, when this opportunity cost is high.
I am very demanding of myself, and I always feel that I have failed too much and my friends are ahead, so I will give up on myself. I hate to look down on myself, perfectionism is the problem. What I love about good girls, and what I hate about myself, is self-projection. Probably because I was used to being abused since I was a child, which led to my values, that the good and the beautiful are worthy of being loved, and the bad are not worthy of being loved.
In fact, I know that this is narrow-minded and paranoid. All relationships may be explained by projection and identification. No matter what the objective reality is, treat the same me, if I respect myself, like myself, and be satisfied with myself, then others will treat me that way; if I hate myself and feel that I don’t deserve to be loved, then others will agree with me. Therefore, whether others treat me coldly or tenderly, the root cause lies in myself. Put yourself down, then no wonder others look down on you.
However, I am convinced that everything happens for a reason. Every time of loss, depression, and pain, God has arranged for you to give you a chance to be reborn. How can we start anew without death?
Pain made me a nine-rate philosopher. This is actually not bad. After all, the sooner you experience difficulties, the more painful it will be, so that you can have a long memory and resist the unknown accidents on the long road of life in the future.
As long as you are alive, slowly and patiently climb out of the well, don't stare at the boundless and deep darkness under you, it will make people dizzy, but look at the warm light at the wellhead, then you will definitely come out, out of the dark moment.
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