I once wrote a very high-profile sentence: "I have no interest in youth." If I were to explain this sentence myself, it would probably mean that I could not define the stage of youth. Many people say that youth is 18 to 25 years old; It is said that youth should be 16 to 30 years old. In general, no one can give a definition to youth, or a woman like me, as Duras wrote, or as Jiechen wrote - "getting a pen and getting old" early, There has never been a so-called youth. I don't seem to have had the so-called teenage stage, and even when I was fourteen, I've never been obsessed with pink, never been obsessed with plaid shirts, and never been interested in dolls or anything like that. I seem to have been obsessed with prudence and old things early on - but, I was obsessed with a boy, and this must be considered youth, because there is no saying.
So youth is a mood for me. That kind of mood is hot, but after youth has passed, the mood is cold. how to say? Some people say that Eason Chan's singing "Exaggerated" is hot, and Lin Zhixuan's singing "Exaggerated" is cool, which is probably the feeling. It's too hard to describe. So some people value youth, and some people don't. I think that youth has passed away in the past, and it is no big deal. It does not mean that youth has passed away and it must be regarded as a very regrettable thing. Some people say - "Youth is a state of mind", what exactly is a youth state of mind? How to tell the difference between being passionate and irrespective of the consequences.
So watching movies like The Blue Door, for adults, is the best way to pick up the mood. One of my girlfriends said that after watching "The Blue Door", she especially wanted to call the boy she had a crush on in college. I asked what would you say if you could get through? She laughed: Say, just chat, say I liked you back then, and then I would greet you, or laugh.
One sentence brought me back to the "hot" mood back then. "I like you" is so obvious when I was young, I probably wouldn't say it even if I bit my lip. When I say it, the world is turned upside down, even if it snows in my heart in June, there will be no stories. Youth is to figure out, to be obsessed with you standing behind me, but I can hear your breathing; to have dry eyes and sore nose, to have you stand far away from me, it is the love of my next class that makes us every day. Passing by, but there is an inner drama of life and death. I want to lie down on the table in the morning in summer, look up from my sweaty arms and find that I am the only one awake, and there are math problems on the blackboard. Or stand downstairs with a bag of dumplings waiting for someone to "appear by accident" and then cool off. This kind of thing is the reason why adults love to watch youth movies.
Many women have told me that after experiencing a certain event in their life, that literary, hot feeling suddenly disappeared, it was like magic. The so-called youth or adulthood is a momentary thing. At that moment, you were relieved and decided to pick up or put down a person or a relationship. That incident may be a person walking home a certain day, or a sudden fried egg fried rice one day; or a sudden one day when I looked up and saw a silver cloud in the sky. At that moment, you realize that your heart is "cold". This kind of coolness is either sadness, melancholy, or vulnerability, or you suddenly realize that time has passed, you are an adult, and you lift up your hair like a mature woman; looking in the mirror in high heels, you feel that the person is strange, calm down—the most important thing, Let go and start walking forward.
I am the same. My "youth" boundary is due to a blind date. The 24-year-old I spent five days with the man and found it wasn't right, so we each said goodbye happily. On the way back, there was an old man selling fruit. I bought some and walked back to my apartment in the dark with a bag of apples. In the dark aisle, I suddenly bumped into another emotion like I bumped into a ghost. The wind that night blew away all my enthusiasm and shackles. Three days ago, I was still reading Baby Anne's book, but Since then, I've been silent, calm, and I don't like to talk about gossip. I began to love to devote myself to the mundane world, discussing marriage and stocks. Then calm and joy quickly became my regular state. My youth seems to be "warm" dissipated overnight and stopped overnight. Looking back, there was no surprise or joy at that turning point. That night, I walked through my "Blue Gate", so I really believe in the existence of such a gate of time.
Since then, all the stories that happened before this point have been called youth by themselves. So youth has no age limit. It represents the point from which you start to recall the past. So for many people, before the age of fifty can be called youth. But youth must have a theme song, there must be a male/female protagonist, and there must be a love story. Who said that love is the most deteriorating thing in the world, I firmly believe that love still exists in this world, accompanied by youth; just like I firmly believe that the sun will still rise, accompanied by the end of the sea and the sky. When this is "cool", it is easier to aftertaste, and the taste of aftertaste is better. Youth must be considered youth, but youth is not only young.
Someone asked me where your youth went. I feel that my youth has always been in my heart. It could have been yesterday, or it could have been a long time ago. I have been trying to maintain that "hot" mood, but I was afraid that it would be too hot; so gradually I started to learn to be "cool". My husband is my high school classmate. Occasionally, when I look at his beard and fat waist, he will think of his thin bamboo pole in high school. He also always remembered my high school haircut and white shirt. They are young witnesses to each other.
Some people are born to age easily, like me. The most important thing is that some are suitable for staying in this "cool" atmosphere, which is why I think I am more suitable for middle-aged people than young people. I can't grasp the "hot" well, it is easy to be presumptuous, easy to suffer, and easy to have accidents; I am suitable for "cool" to live. I never allow my friends to drag me to a concert, because it must be me who is crying. So, youth is gone.
But I never deny the artistic conception of youth, it is really beautiful. Let me tell a story to end. One of my girlfriends, after watching "The Blue Door", remembered her high school boyfriend, so she made an appointment to meet. At that time, he already had a family and children. In the cafe, she met for the first time after ten years after studying abroad. She looked at his beard and leather shoes; he looked at her necklace and Prada's handbag, and suddenly each other was dumbfounded. Laughing, and then they chatted with each other like old, lost friends. Looking back, she told me that the air seemed to be condensed, and she seemed to have never felt so relieved. Just like when she walked out of the cafe, she felt that she was very young at the age of 30. She still loves his past, and he loves her past too. She had never been so convinced that there was a simple place in the heart of man, behind him like a shadow. She feels that the mood of youth is to believe in love. For her, the blue door has never been opened to her.
So she feels that youth is there as long as you look back. Don't look back, never exist, "like a dream".
"What are you doing?" "I'm from the swimming team's guitar club. I look pretty good. What's wrong with me?" "What are you doing?" "Just chasing you" "I'm very troublesome"" I'm in trouble too."
PS: In the end, he will become someone's Li Daren.
View more about Blue Gate Crossing reviews
