Review American Horror Story

Sally Freeman: [after Ben presses the "Record" button on his tape recorder] He's going through with it and there's nothing I can do to stop him. We're supposed to sign the papers next week and that's it. 23 years gone with the stroke of a pen. I'm so upset. And I wonder if I'll ever be able to love or be loved again.

Dr. Ben Harmon: What was the reason your husband is seeking the divorce?

Sally Freeman: He says I'm very boring. I've tried to converse with him on a variety of subjects. Sports, for instance. I've even learned the names of Football teams he follows. Let's see; there's the Chargers, the 49ers, the Raiders, the Sea Hawks up in Seattle. That's the West Coast. And the Cardinals, they're in Arizona. I memorized them for him. I'm very good at memorization. I can still name the states and all of their capitols which I learned in the 6th grade. My memory helps with my work. I'm an accountant by trade, but I'm branching out into taxes.

[All this time, Ben goes from listening to spacing out due to Sally's boring rambling]

Billie Dean Howard: I think we're gonna get a pickup on my Lifetime pilot. And as soon as we do, I wanna bring you on as my guest.

Constance Langdon: I can't focus on your... career right now. I maybe looking at a rather Earth shattering situation.

Billie Dean Howard: Could we be talking menopause baby? Why am I seeing baby pictures?

Constance Langdon: Tell me... What happens when a human... copulates with someone from the spirit world?

Billie Dean Howard: Spirits aren't known for their potency.

Constance Langdon: Yes, but... what if there is, in fact, a conception?

Billie Dean Howard: You do know about the box? The Pope's box?

Constance Langdon: What the Hell are you talking about?

Billie Dean Howard: When a new Pope has been chosen and the bells of St. Peter's chime, he is shown into a small chamber next to the Sistine Chapel. They call it the room of tears, named for the sublime mixture of joy and sorrow that he must contemplate at this moment. He is brought a key to this box. It has been said that this box contains the ultimate secret. It holds the secret of the end of the world.

Constance Langdon: Oh, for Christ's sakes, Billie Dean, the cameras aren't rolling in here. Will you just cut to the chase?

Billie Dean Howard: This piece of paper reveals the precise nature of the Antichrist. A child born of human and spirit will usher in the end of times. It is the essence of evil... a perversion of the Immaculate Conception.

Constance Langdon: What are you talking about?

Billie Dean Howard: Oh, come on, honey. The Holy Ghost merely whispered in the Virgin Mary's ear and she begat the Son of God. If the Devil's going to use a human womb for his spawn, he's gonna want a little more bang for his buck.