You made me, but you destroyed yourself.

You are beautiful, admittedly beautiful. You are also very gentle and considerate in your childhood impression; a woman who always does things properly, with flowing skirts and fragrance on her body, a quiet and quiet woman. Although the education level is not high, it also makes people feel good and knowledgeable. You love us, especially me. Shuangxiu often puts me in the back seat of the bicycle. We go to the cinema together to watch movies. At that time, Jackie Chan was the one who watched the most.

Then I don't know since when, I grew up a little bit, and the common language with you is less and less, and the disputes are more and more. Think about what we all argue about? Sometimes I say a joke, and you don't catch the joke and accuse me of being stupid and ignorant. I don't reply very much, and every time I naively use the method of anger and cold war. Of course, many times I am not good, wrong. I've always been mean and snarky - but that's because you're the only person I can throw a tantrum against. I thought I didn't need to be calm and restrained when facing you.

But this is second - I can live with you not understanding me, because I also have trouble understanding you a lot of times, but I can't stand your image gradually crumbling in my heart.

I suddenly found out that my mother was just a layman. You would lie, scold people, and use a philistine face to care about a few dollars and a few cents when buying things... I watched coldly from the side. You, it is hard to believe that this is the mother who raised me and lived with me for 20 years, and it is even more difficult to associate this image with my childhood mother. Have you changed, or have you always been this way?

Now, when you are gentle and kind to me, I can still feel that I love you very much, I can't live without you, and I want to live with you forever. But more often than not, your behavior makes me keep saying to myself - you are in menopause and need to be forgiven. At this time, I think I still love you, but I just want to leave this home independently one day.

I never thought that maybe I killed you with my own hands, the originally beautiful girl, the self that was sealed in your heart.

I never thought about how much you gave up to raise me. Because of my existence, you have to face all the difficulties of reality more bravely and bear more unbearable pressure. It's life that wears you out bit by bit and slowly turns you into what you are - no longer cute (I'm sad to use that word too).

A good life can indeed preserve a person's innocence, kindness, beauty and loveliness. When you are a daughter, you must be loved by everyone when you don't worry about food and accommodation - you are so beautiful, and you know how to behave in the world. Until I have a daughter, I will take off my gentle, hard armor and fight in the real battlefield and fight for me. It was my existence that pushed the ruthlessness of reality to you. I want to be nice to you in the future and earn a lot of money for you, so that you can live comfortably again and become a kind, amiable, even elegant and interesting old lady. It might be a little hard to do though, you know I'm not that interested in money.

You made me, but you destroyed yourself. I am very depressed.

View more about I Killed My Mother reviews