the impact on the human environment for the growth of
Mary, 8-year-old girl. She is ordinary, ordinary to the point of not being beautiful.
Mary's dad worked a very mechanical operation in a factory - labeling tea bags, but his hobby was making models of birds - birds, meaning free to fly. And his ideal is to do the work of exploring metal.
I don't know what caused this man to not pursue his dream (Mary's mother said that Mary's birth was an accident, and it can be inferred that the child was born from an unexpected pregnancy, probably Mary's father was not ready for anything He became a father at the time), from the plot point of view, he used the money earned by his label to pay for his family expenses, probably for responsibility and safety. But in any case, we can imagine that this is a man who is not with us, and he has spent his life in such a state, so we can also understand why he is so reticent, to the point where he has little communication with his family.
And what about Mary's mother? It was an alcoholic woman who had a habit of "borrowing" things from the mall. It is said that alcoholism has become the third killer that threatens human health. In Europe and the United States, there are so many people who drink alcohol that Russia has issued laws to prohibit people from drinking and increase the price of alcohol. Generally speaking, most of the people who rely on alcoholism to survive are too stressed or dissatisfied with reality. Mary's mother married such a silent husband and was not capable enough to create a prosperous life for her family, which is estimated to be the main reason for her habit of drinking and petty theft. Of course, it is not ruled out that it has a lot to do with her own personality traits.
Mary's mother lacked care for Mary to the point of being unable to tie the buttons for Mary.
Because of this background, 8-year-old Mary naturally has no money to buy toys, but fortunately, she will make "fake" toys for herself - characters in her favorite cartoon "The Noblet Family" - thus It can be seen that Mary is a creative and adaptable child.
From the perspective of family therapy, children who grow up in such a family background are prone to have some psychological problems. For example, Mary, who was only 8 years old, told us through her mood ring that she was "depressed, unconsciously anxious", and because of This melancholy state is often bullied by teachers and classmates. Another example is that when Mary, an adult, encountered setbacks, she adopted the same coping method as her mother—drinking. And she almost chose to give up her life just like her mother did.
Max, a 44-year-old single middle-aged man.
When he was born, he was abandoned by his father together with his mother. When he was 6 years old, his mother committed suicide with his uncle's gun. It can be guessed that this "uncle" is Marx's stepfather. This is a man without a father, and a mother who has not fulfilled the responsibility of upbringing.
For children, maternal love means unconditionally embraced love, which gives us the most primitive sense of security and trust. But Marx obviously did not have these two things, so he would appear so uneasy and afraid of new things and talents.
Typically, a man with an absent father will either grow up unruly and unruly due to a lack of discipline and punishment, or go to the other extreme - cowardly due to the lack of a father's masculine example And backsliding, Marx is clearly the latter.
Therefore, I have always attached great importance to the influence of family on people. The appearance of a person is partly congenital (may not even have much to do with heredity), partly is the way of raising, and partly is influenced by social culture, but most The main part is the birth and the way of raising. For example, a person who is born with introverted and sensitive nature, if he encounters a cheerful, humorous, positive and optimistic family environment, it is likely to partially make up for the introverted sensitivity, so that the personality displayed by this person in adulthood may appear cheerful and outgoing.
Detailed mental illness
movies we made a very detailed mental illness cases show, in our lives is rarely a one-time to see so many of the typical symptoms in a small area, it is my intention to write this text ——From the perspective of abnormal psychology, we will gradually break down various typical symptoms.
Anxiety neurosis and anxiety personality disorder
Anxiety neurosis is divided into two categories, one is panic attack or acute anxiety attack, and the other is diffuse anxiety disorder. The typical symptoms of the former are obvious somatic sensations, such as shortness of breath, tremors, profuse sweating, and a sense of impending death. The latter is a feeling of anxiety that I don't pay much attention to, a chronic anxiety that goes deep into the bone marrow.
Clearly, Marx had both.
Whenever he gorged, it was this feeling of diffuse anxiety at work—which led him to develop bulimia. And Mary's letter had to be hospitalized because of the issue of love, which caused Marx to suffer a panic attack.
Almost more than seventy percent of neuroses are personality disorders.
In medicine, personality disorders are considered congenital. In addition to obsessive-compulsive personality disorders, there are many personality disorders, such as performative personality disorder (Sister Furong is a typical example), such as antisocial personality disorder (Zheng Minsheng), such as paranoia Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Personality Disorder, etc.
Traditionally, most doctors believe that personality disorders are basically incurable, and that most antisocial personality disorders end in suicide or are sentenced to death by law, but can be alleviated to a limited extent by psychotherapy.
But last year I heard that there have been cases of borderline personality disorder being cured, requiring a psychiatrist to treat with a persistent attitude for three years, or people with borderline personality disorder are lucky enough to meet a wonderful partner, Healing is also possible in this safe intimacy.
Second, binge eating disorder.
Marx's obesity is caused by binge eating disorder, which is actually a type of neurosis, which is difficult to cure and has a poor prognosis. At present, no very effective radical solution has been found, and many people are hovering between improvement and relapse. Currently, binge eating disorder is mostly treated by prescribing psychiatrists, but the treatment options are more cognitive behavioral therapy, but with little success. There are also aversion therapy. For example, Marx in the movie was "electrocuted". But aversion therapy is very harmful and generally not used. Because aversion therapy may have cured binge eating, but caused other problems.
People who usually binge eat suffer from anxiety. The action of eating can effectively relieve anxiety, because the feeling of food distracts the patient's attention and makes the anxiety feel dispersed. For example, Marx ate two extra chocolate hot dogs because of anxiety on the way to the Anonymous seminar for Gluttony.
Marx's growing obesity also illustrates the intractable nature of bulimia.
3. Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of Marx's schizophrenia are complex, and we need to separate them here.
1. Emotional indifference in schizophrenia.
Apathy is more common in the decline period of schizophrenia, and some people with organic brain lesions may also be like this. The main symptoms are lack of response to things that cause emotional fluctuations in most people, lack of inner experience, inability to express feelings, very cold to people, and often very rigid expressions.
It was a terrifying shivering thing for him when a woman Marx met at a seminar showed him love. Marx couldn't cry, couldn't express his feelings, and though he wanted to, he couldn't. He would get sick because Mary asked him about love in the letter, because he couldn't love, and he couldn't even make a smile.
He also can't know the emotions of others from their expressions, so he needs to carry a booklet full of various expressions with him.
2, schizophrenia words new work
one kind of schizophrenia. Patients will create some words, graphics or symbols by themselves and give them special meanings-usually what they think they are, or piece together several unrelated concepts or incomplete words into a new word to represent Some new meaning, and a firm conviction. So Marx mailed the new words he invented to the Harvard Dictionary Editors, hoping that they would include his new words.
The words Marx coined in the film are "bewilderment", which he interprets as "bewilderment and confusion at the same time", and "snow ash", which he interprets as "combination of snow and dust", and "Smack Hubble", He explained it as "when the bottom of the bag at the grocery store is found to be broken". I once saw an example in a book that someone created a new word for "male and female", which he interpreted as the word "married".
3. The true hallucinations of schizophrenia
Hallucinations are divided into true hallucinations and false hallucinations. The main difference is that the former is like the real - the hallucination is in a clear and precise position, the same as the objective thing, while the latter is not real - the position is unclear, inaccurate, sporadic, and not the same as the objective thing.
Marx's virtual friend named Mr. Ravioli when he was a child, he described as "invisible", but he often waved to this friend and said that he was reading a book in the corner, which showed that his hallucinations were real hallucinations.
Fourth, on Asperger's
movie referred to this disease, this is the first time I heard the word, so the following information from the Internet:
Asperger's Syndrome is a mental development disorders (that is to say Ya Sibo Psychiatric disorder is an extended developmental disorder of mental illness).
Its clinical features share many similarities with autism: the same deficits in social skills, and the same extraordinary interest in some special things. However, Asperger's also differs from autism: people with Asperger's have better language and cognitive skills than those with autism. On the other hand, many clinical studies have shown that people with Asperger's are more clumsy than those with autism. Most of the current diagnostic systems follow Dr. Asperger's observations on patients with Asperger's disease 50 years ago: In addition to lack of normal social skills (eg, lack of emotional interaction or sharing), patients also need to have the following symptoms:
i) Consists of one or more stereotyped and limited patterns of interest, with at least one abnormal in either intensity or object (e.g., intense fascination with encyclopedias, or overly fascinated by MRT routes);
ii) inelastic stubbornness to specific Routine or ritual behavior that is not functional;
iii) Routine and repetitive bodily movements (eg, palm slaps)
iv) Continued focus on one part of an object.
Law of Attraction
From the point of view of the law of attraction, similar groups of people will have similar amplitudes, so they can easily meet in life. Mary meets Marx, on the one hand, their upbringings are very similar - both being bullied and abandoned by the crowd, which may lead them to have a similar inner experience of life. Plus they're both lonely and long for friends, and their personality traits are pure and creative, and they like to watch the same cartoon (because that cartoon is about someone who loves to make friends and has a lot of friends) stories), even the taste of food is so close, of course, there is a very important point, they all have their own psychological problems.
Mary's neighbor Hesper, a disabled man who suffered from fear during the war, suffers from severe agoraphobia, so he has to shut himself up at home every day, and even asks Mary to help him with things like gaining trust.
The man Mary liked (who became her husband) had a bad stutter and was bullied for it, in Australia he belonged to the minority - Middle Eastern, and we later found out he was bisexual.
And what about Marx's neighbors? It was an old lady whom Marx described as "taciturn", and I suspect she may be autistic.
How interesting, they are such people, so they are surrounded by people who are similar to them.
We can also find this wonderful phenomenon in real life. For example, people who grew up in single-parent families are easy to meet partners and friends who grew up in similar families. For example, the friends around you always have the same personality type as you. , there is a proverb called "not a family, do not enter a family", and even includes a trick that some experts teach girls how to choose a boyfriend - see what kind of friends he is with, in fact, they are saying The Law of Attraction - We always attract people and things like us to our side because we tend to justify ourselves in the people and things around us. For example, if your subconscious feels you are humble, you may attract friends and lovers who think you are humble. So you might as well observe the people and things around you, I believe you will find a lot of things you haven't noticed.
Relationship is healing medicine
in the field of psychological counseling, there is a widespread, then called: "All psychological problems are relationship problems."
Because of Mary's presence, Marx began to have the opportunity to open up to others and speak honestly about himself. So Mr. Ravioli, his friend who had been in Marx's hallucinations for over forty years, left him, a clear sign of healing. At the same time, in the process of communicating with Mary, he gradually no longer rejected his anxiety, but took the initiative to adjust, and even relieved his neuralgia in the process of ironing Mary's letter.
And what about Mary? Max's friendship made her change from passively adapting to the environment to transforming the environment, and bravely pursue the life she wanted, and the "Love yourself first" on the heart-shaped chocolate that Max mailed to her gave her more inner strength, Let her understand the truth that a person without self is ineligible for love, let her start to focus on her inner world instead of focusing on the outside, enrich herself, satisfy herself, and finally marry the person she likes, although that People end up leaving with their same-sex lovers.
From the very beginning of our lives, we are in pursuit of a safe and loving relationship, a relationship that makes us grow, a relationship that makes us brave, and a relationship that empowers us.
Our first important relationship is the relationship with our own parents, the relationship between a daughter and a father, and the relationship between a son and a mother. It is the earliest relationship between a man and a woman. In this relationship, we learn to get along with the opposite sex. At the same time, we also experience the feeling of relationship with the opposite sex in this relationship. That is our earliest understanding of the opposite sex. We also learn how to manage relationships from our parents. If there is a problem in our relationship with our parents, then this problem is also very important. It may be reflected in our marriage relationship.
Our second most important relationship is our partnership.
If there is something missing in the parent, it is our only chance to make up for it, and what is traumatic in the mother-child or father-daughter relationship will also be healed in the partnership.
Whenever I meet someone who wants to love but is afraid of getting hurt, I tell them that if you put your heart and soul into the relationship and open yourself up in this relationship, even if it hurts, you will get something—you get something will be the ability to love. No one is born to love, and love needs to be learned. As long as you are sincere, open, and accepting in your relationship, you will have the opportunity to know yourself more fully, and thus gain self-growth. As long as you are willing to choose to look at this relationship, and the other person and yourself in this relationship, you will Gain more inner strength, and this strength, in addition to being used in the relationship between the sexes, can also be used in other areas, such as the workplace, such as life.
OR normal is not normal
a long time ago I read a long post on watercress, the theme of the post is about the mentally ill in the world. Although a lot of content is suspected of repetition and fabrication, I still see another world, a rich, vast, strange, and colorful world.
Sometimes I wonder what is a mental problem, or whether the experts who invented the concept of "problem" have penetrated the ultimate meaning of life, because in my opinion, the logic of many mental patients is actually very interesting, According to his thinking, those logics are completely explainable. However, those of us who think we are so-called normal, because we cannot understand their logic, we classify them as abnormal.
Well, Cangjie, who was the first to create Chinese characters—the characters we use now are all created by him, so is he a typical example of new words in schizophrenia?
What is normal and what is abnormal?
I prefer to regard those who have anti-social behavior as "abnormal". The "abnormal" mentioned here is not pathological, but that his behavior has harmed or affected others, which should be An abnormal mental patient who is locked up in a mental hospital. Then there are those who have lost the ability to work due to mental problems, or who have potential factors that endanger society, can also be classified as "abnormal" and treated as mental patients, and those who are only because they have a set of things that are different from others. People with the same logic, or just because they claim to be able to see something that others can't, are considered mentally abnormal, and I actually don't quite accept this view.
And a man like Marx, he should not be classified as abnormal, he can read and write, and through reading he discovers self-awareness, and insists on atheistic views, although lack of emotional experience, but that does not prevent him from having rich In the inner world, he can think about the philosophical question of the origin of the universe, he carefully observes the things around him, cares about the weak (donates money to the Stray Animal Association), he has the ability to work, can operate machines, and is gifted in mathematical operation, You can also read two pages at the same time. He also has a sense of humour, such as when he pretends to be a robot and jokes with Mary that fish get into the habit of smoking because people litter their cigarette butts.
In particular, he never did anything harmful to society—as exemplified by the fact that he was called up to serve on a jury as a prominent person with a clean record. And the so-called normal person killed all his friends at his birthday party.
In fact, Marx can do a lot. How much can those who claim to be "normal" do? Compared to the "normal" people who starved their mothers to death in their houses, Marx's care for his blind neighbor was invaluable.
SO, who is normal and who is not normal?
P. S After
watching the movie, my first impression is: the poor people living abroad are really good, a person who is not strong at work, has been unemployed for a long time, and can only do street cleaning even if he works, he can afford a house, He can afford a psychiatrist, an ambulance will take him to the hospital when he is ill, and he can afford chocolates for a few months, some people care about his gluttony, and what amazes me the most is that he can afford a typewriter .
Honestly, I'm so envious. I don't know when China will be able to do this. Uh-huh. Hereby sigh!
However, during this period of time, the school and kindergarten were not peaceful, so that some severely mentally ill patients had the opportunity to receive free medical treatment. This can be regarded as the dawn.
P. P. S
There is a very good passage in the movie, excerpted here, to share with everyone who sees this text: "I forgive you because you are not perfect, you are not perfect and I am, no one is perfect, even if Those who littered the door, I wanted to be anyone but myself when I was young, Dr. Bernard Hasshof said if I'm on an island, then I'll get used to living alone, with only coconuts And me, he said I have to accept myself, my faults and my whole, we can't choose our faults, they're a part of us but we have to live with them, but we can choose our friends, and I'm happy to choose For you. Everyone's life is a long sidewalk, some neat and others like me, with cracked banana peels and cigarette butts, your sidewalk is like mine, but not as many cracks as mine. Someday, Hopefully your sidewalks and mine will intersect and we can share a jar of condensed milk. You are my best friend. You are my only friend."
Accepting yourself is often harder than accepting others.
But we need to be brave and start by looking at who we really are without judgment. As long as we can seriously look at our true self without judgment, the day when we accept ourselves is not far away.
A person, only by becoming himself, can life be radiant!
P. P. P. S
likes the last scene of the movie: Mary came to see him at Max's house, Max was leaning quietly on the sofa, Mary went to the typewriter by the window, put down the parts of the printer that Max mailed to her angrily, and turned to see that the wall was empty The board, which used to be one of Marx's three major life goals "Noblet family" characters, he gave all of them to Mary. Mary sat next to Marx with the child in her arms, shook Max's big hand, and saw the expression booklet he was wearing on his chest. When she looked back, she saw that in a prominent place, there were her own tears that Mary mailed to him a long time ago. , the camera pans up, and on the mirror is pasted a photo of herself that Mary mailed to him when she was 8 years old, and then pans up, the letters that Mary once wrote to Marx, one by one, are pasted all over the wall in an orderly manner, Many, many, many. The voice-over sounded Marx's words: "You are my best friend, you are my only friend".
The music at that time was affectionate and soft, distant and long, which served as a good foil for the expression of emotions.
——I didn’t cry when I was watching the movie, but when I wrote this, my nose suddenly became sour.
Yes, I was moved by that love, by the love that flows.
View more about Mary and Max reviews
