Second cut: cut away love and planted seeds of selfishness.
Third cut: cut down honesty and planted seeds of lying.
Fourth cut: cut down adventures and planted mediocrity. The
fifth knife: cut the obedience and plant the seeds of illegality. The
sixth knife: cut the seeds of good and evil. The
seventh knife: cut the nature and plant the seeds of destruction. The
eighth knife: cut the innovation. , planted the seeds of machinery
ninth knife: cut off appreciation, planted the seeds of jealousy
tenth knife: cut off the competition, planted the seeds of hatred in
our family education is the forgotten child of nature, is the excellent quality of children ruthlessly blunt Education. It is time to reflect on our family education. Chinese parents hide ten knives in their bodies. Parents often use these ten knives unknowingly, so that the child's natural innocence will disappear step by step.
The first knife: Cut down democracy and plant the seeds of power.
China's democratic reforms should be said to have made considerable progress. Chinese people are used to living under autocracy. In a traditional Chinese family, the parents are also the emperor of the family. They say no to two, and forcefully decide what the child should be and what he
can't do. It is estimated that children will not kneel down anymore, but have we achieved the most basic democracy in family life? For example, have parents sought their children’s opinions on matters involving children’s interests? When there are disputes within the family, are there any democratic methods to solve the problem?
Parents are always accustomed to using simple and rude methods to make decisions on behalf of their children in the name of "all for your good." And this kind of behavior slashed away the democratic consciousness in the child's mind, and made him feel that power can overcome everything.
The second knife: Cut off love and plant selfish seeds.
When you tear your face with your brother to raise your elderly parents, and fight with your sisters to divide the inheritance of your parents, have you paid attention? To have a pair of panic eyes watching your performance suspiciously?
When you saw the thief prying the neighbor’s door and pulling your son away in a hurry, did you find that his other hand was clenched into a fist?
When your daughter tells you that the faucet in the community garden is broken, do you bring the tools to repair it or call the property right away, or tell her not to be nosy?
You pretend not to see the unstable old man on the bus. When the child wants to get up and give up his seat, you use your eyes to stop him.
These performances of you are part of your child's imperceptible family education. Every act of you slashes away your child's love with a single knife, and the seeds of selfishness are planted in his young heart.
The third knife: cut off honesty and plant the seeds of lying.
Once a child understands lying, he can avoid being beaten or scolded, or he can make the pain of flesh and blood come as late as possible, he may gradually become an expert in lying. .
Children are forced to lie. If we can get benefits by telling the truth, who would risk lying?
Many children are confused-why can adults lie, but children can't? When the child thinks about this question, it shows that he has discovered that adults often lie.
Our explanations to children are often justified by saying that our lies are "good faith". But for children, whether they are well-intentioned or malicious, they are all lies!
The fourth knife: Cut off the risk and plant the seeds of mediocrity. The
child who wants to swim in the river is not to teach him how to ensure his safety in the water, but to simply refuse-the reason is of course danger.
Children are not allowed to climb high for safety reasons.
The children are more than ten years old, and I dare not go to the canteen at the door to buy a bottle of soy sauce alone, because the streets are dangerous.
Will not peel apples by himself, because the knife is dangerous.
Twenty-year-old kids don’t know how to start cooking because gas is dangerous.
Yes! The current society is a bit chaotic. It is dangerous to go out and it is not safe to be at home. But we have been holding it like this, how can they grow up? Children who can't experience a little bit of danger are definitely mediocre. Dangers exist everywhere, hiding cannot solve the problem. The key is to teach children to recognize dangers and deal with crises!
Fifth knife: Cut obedience and plant seeds of illegality.
Children rarely cross the road by themselves to run a red light. Children riding bicycles will drive in the bicycle lanes properly. When children are in kindergarten, they recite the mantra of "stop the red light and go on the green light". But when they went to the street with their parents, they were always pulled by adults not to walk across the crosswalk, underground passages, or pedestrian bridges. Instead, they turned over railings and crossed the road.
The adults' excuse is that I am busy and hurry. Little do they know that this knife makes children realize that the rules can be disobeyed, and their own interests are greater than the seriousness of the rules. Many people have already drove in the car, with children in the car. There are no traffic rules in my mind, no traffic signs in my eyes rushing across the street. You have to see the police uncle to restrain yourself.
This teaches the children that the rule of man is greater than the rule of law, and we can trample on the laws and regulations for our own benefit when the enforcers of the laws and regulations are invisible.
Who is born with the most sinful nature? Didn’t they all start from taking small gains and step by step toward the illegal path?
The sixth knife: Cut off the good and plant the seeds of evil. The
ancients said: Don’t take evil for small, and don’t take good for small.
We are unwilling to take our children to donate clothes to the disaster area because we have paid taxes and that is a government business.
We don't give alms to the beggars on the corner because they are dirty.
When a child wants to donate to a classmate who cannot afford the tuition and is frail and sick, you ask him if it is required by the school, and how much is the minimum donation stipulated by the school? You chop off the kindness of your child bit by bit.
Others look for more money while shopping, and you drag your child away quickly.
Your colleague offended you, you instructed the child to unplug his bicycle secretly.
There are few green onions for cooking at home. Instead of asking your neighbors to borrow them, you ask your child to go to the corridor to "get" a few green onions. You are planting the seeds of evil on the child little by little.
Seventh knife: Cut off the nature and plant the seeds of destruction.
When playing in the park, you take your children to pick flowers in Panzhi. When you leave, the child wants to take away the rubbish. You don't need to take care of the cleaners. In order to make the children happy, feed the monkeys in the cage regardless of the prohibited signs on the railings. You throw the bottle after drinking, and throw cigarette butts when you finish smoking.
Children's nature is to love nature and animals. We killed the fish she liked in front of the child, and killed the chicken and duck that she thought was cute. How can sad children not want to eat these animals anymore.
When we persuade our children, we use the logic of "everything is for my use". Tell the children is for the survival of human beings, can harm all living beings!
The eighth knife: Cut innovation and plant the seeds of machinery.
Our poor children, under the dual ravages of the school and their parents, no longer understand what innovation is.
When a child asks a few more whys, we may be too lazy to answer because of the exhaustion of our work. Perhaps the questions he asked are beyond our knowledge and are perfunctory. Perhaps you are worrying about the mahjong's not playing cards. .
And our usual trick is this when you grow up, you will understand! This is not required to be mastered, as long as you remember it! This will not be taken! There is no why! Wait, wait for the clever rhetoric. As everyone knows, children have gradually become test animals, their brains have become mechanized, and they can no longer think.
The biggest tragedy in China is that it has knowledge but no property rights. This is the evil result of decades of test-oriented education. In fact, exam-oriented education is largely the result of parental persecution. When we choose a school for our children, isn’t the primary consideration still in terms of its enrollment rate? We don't care what the children have learned, as long as they can go to Tsinghua University and Peking University!
The ninth knife: cut to appreciate, plant the seeds of jealousy. When
children are young, they will always make no secret of their appreciation of a person or something, and will express their affection without any consideration.
When a child tells his parents how good a classmate is, the parents always compare the child's shortcomings with the people he admires, or say how smart they are and how hard they work! How lazy like you are! Or say that you want to learn from him and win honor to your parents! This kind of critical comparison easily dampens the enthusiasm of the child and greatly affects the child's self-esteem.
When the child doesn't know how high the sky is, he will say that I am better than him. However, you can't surpass the object you admire time and time again, and after being ridiculed by your parents, the child's good attitude of appreciation will turn into a bad jealousy. Being jealous of this major nuisance in life has been learned by our naive children!
Tenth knife: Cut off competition and plant the seeds of hatred.
Competition was originally the driving force for social development. A society without competition naturally loses its upward momentum. People survive in this competitive environment. Human beings themselves have won in the competition of animals, so people are born with a sense of competition. A normal thing is that the loser learns to hold the hand of the winner and congratulate him sincerely.
We may all be overtaken by our colleagues in the unit and defeated by our opponents in the business arena. When we return home, we do not objectively analyze the reasons for failure and strive for the next victory. We are more about finding objective reasons and insulting competitors. Don't think that your children are still young and still don't understand these things about adults. He has learned from you to hate those who surpass him. Learned to add sleeping pills to the cups of students with good grades for the first place in the test!
Reflect! Every one of us parents should reflect. Of course, all of this has to do with the general social environment and with the ruler. But if we ourselves can put away these knives in cultivating our children, our children will be sincere, kind and tolerant from elementary school, and be able to grow up healthily. It can give our society hope.
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