Last night, from the 29th of the New Year to the early morning of the 30th of the New Year, I finished watching Blue Valentine.
At first, I watched it with the attitude of watching Oscar candidates, not with the attitude of finding something and feeling something.
However, it is precisely this film that is in line with my state of mind, state of mind, and mood at this moment.
The feeling of powerlessness in love, the frustration of love, the family facing broken thoughts and the torture of the love of the lovely 6-month-old child. As the movie ends, the two protagonists talk in the kitchen - we also have a daughter. It's not good for her growth. Isn't this the question I'm thinking about the most right now!
I'm about to get divorced. Hehe, I never imagined that I would become a divorced person so quickly. Not a single person anymore.
The love that started in January 2004, the marriage that started at the end of 2008, and the ending of divorce.
In June 2010, I decided to let go of work, go home and cook four meals a day with nutritious menus for her to take care of her pregnancy. I myself thought that I was great enough that a man gave up his job and would rather be a family cook and take care of the diet of the pregnant wife. In her opinion, I had no income, and I went home to eat as a last resort.
So many years, the deepest feeling - love is not a one-sided interaction. When you love someone, love her, would rather spend more time for her, go to another city for business, the first phone call after checking into a hotel is always to call her, seeing what you think fits her style or what I think she wears Good-looking clothes, I bought them at the first time, and moved back home after a long journey.
In the process of falling in love, she made me upset many times, thinking that she didn't love me enough. After chatting on the phone, I hung up, and if I called again, it was turned off. She rarely takes the initiative to call me. I have mentioned the breakup a dozen times, about once a quarter on average.
However, in the end, I still married her. I thought, two people together, will change.
Combined with this just-right movie, here are my recent feelings about love and marriage, or the relationship between two people:
1. Love is like this. The form of getting along at the beginning is the form of the two of you in the future. Although the two may have been playing games with each other, they have not changed from beginning to end and cannot be changed. Whether you love her more or she cares more about you doesn't change over time, it's always the same.
You are attached to him, or he is attached to you; you always care about his feelings, or he always puts you first; every quarrel is whether you apologize first, or he apologizes first. At the very beginning, your destiny has been decided. Who is cruel enough? Who is persistent enough? Who will soften first? Don't think that one day you will be able to fight for the right to decide and speak. If you want to fight, it will end in a breakup or divorce.
2. Everyone's character, everyone's behavior and habits, will not change. So, don't think that one day, you can change a man, or change a woman.
3. Reasons for divorce: Every time I need her most, she is no longer by my side. No support, no condolences. Moreover, it was very unpleasant to be distracted to think about her. Every time, just like the phone call after the initial quarrel, before the quarrel is over, I just hang up the phone, and then dial it again, it is already turned off. After every call, I was very upset. It turns out that these unpleasant feelings are always with us, as long as we are still together.
4. If she or he doesn't love you enough, or doesn't care enough, doesn't like you enough, then no matter how good you are, you can't give her the deepest touch or move. On the contrary, she will be when you quarrel. When you look back, you feel like you haven't done well enough. In her memory, only your bad is kept. If she cares enough about you, then you only need to do a little bit, and occasionally do a little bit, and she will naturally be moved for a long time, and this feeling will strengthen itself in her mind.
The following are the wonderful comments of other viewers on this film, at least, I think it is to the point:
1. The conversation between the two in the car after encountering an old lover in the supermarket makes people laugh, almost everyone will encounter it. A dispute that has come to and entangled, an unintentional remark, one side is brooding, and the other side has to compromise and apologize, but an apology is by no means convincing, but a kind of passive resistance in disguise. So far, the so-called love has been accelerating downward.
2. "Blue Valentine's Day": We have seen a lot of relief from the movie after an old lover decides to break up, because the result itself is not scary, the scary thing is that whenever someone walks here, it always You can't help but look back curiously. The old love that continues to burn in the memory makes the people who look back feel reluctant, so they want to try their best to try to save it, and this frustration of wanting and being unable to do anything is the root of all pain.
3. "Blue Valentine": Where will love eventually go? Sometimes two people are so in love but over time they just find that they can't live together. After the flame of love fades, there are more things that need to be compromised, and the result that cannot be compromised can only be the end... So, in marriage, don't force the other party to the point where there is no way out.
4. "Blue Valentine's Day": She said "I want to divorce you", and he pulled out the wedding ring in a rage and threw it away. Then he got into the car, and as soon as the car started, he was so anxious that he didn't even stop the car, so he jumped out of the car and ran into the grass to look for the ring that he had just thrown away. He loves her so much, as passionately as fireworks, but he will still be ruthlessly swallowed by the night.
The sound of firecrackers outside the window is saying goodbye to the old year, and the parents of my hometown are eagerly looking forward to the return of their grandson.
My dear 6 month old son, you have already started tormenting me.
I sit alone at the computer. Home, pressing down on me empty.
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