The film reminds me of Revolutionary Road, although the two are not much comparable other than they both focus on a couple telling the harsh reality. For me, "Revolutionary Road" is about the hopeless struggle between dream and reality and how it hurts, alienates our emotions and leads to inevitable disintegration.
Growing up, we are more or less aware of the gap between our dreams and reality, and through the test of such setbacks to complete the process of so-called "maturity", but until we meet the person we think is the most important in life , get close enough to see the most real reality from all the defects refracted in each other - refraction is often because the other party sees you clearly before yourself, and you see through each other - people often really realize How heavy is this reality. Many people naturally compromise and turn a blind eye to each other; many people are unbearable, and they usually cannot cross this line in their entire lives; some lucky people can support each other and dare to face and accept reality , even more courage and strength to chase dreams (although many times it is based on the sacrifice of one party); more modern people try to ignore, keep a distance, think they don't need or want someone to go through reality with.
Speaking of Blue Valentine's Day, let's talk about two people first. Dean's label should be "no ambition". He dropped out of college and was content to be a blue-collar worker who moved houses and painted walls. He was even anti-social, which made people suspect violent tendencies. He kept asking questions, such as " what does potential mean?
Cindy's label is the "vulgar wife" who has a slightly better family background and has strategic incentives and punishments for her husband, "You are so potential... Has this kind of life never disappointed you?...", to Dean Courtship is indifferent or uncontrollable and harshly rejected, like saying, you have the ability to rape me. . .
With such a label, they seem to be two "superbs", however, the truth is that Cindy forbears concessions, manages everything, and bears the invisible pressure of the family. She used to be beautiful and lively, but now there is not much left. Dean is kind, delicate, and interesting. The words he said were touching:
"I never thought about being a husband or a father to my children before, that's not my goal in life, that's someone else's. Ideal, not mine, but it became what I wanted anyway, I didn't realize it, that's what I wanted, I didn't want anything else, just wanted to do this, and I work for this... My job is that I can drink from 8am, enjoy it...I get up, drink a beer, go to work, paint someone's house, they're happy, then I go home, I'm with you, this That's my ideal."
In fact, it's a pair that's not new, and it easily reminds me of "The Moon and Sixpence" I'm reading. It's easy to say that it is easy to be content with poverty, but for Cindy, I can personally feel the insecurity of a family with quarrelsome parents, even if she is not a very demanding person, but at least there is only "love" It wasn't enough for her, not to mention she was a mother. For Dean, does he really want to sell his value orientation for "love", his simple source of happiness, and become one of the social dust that can never be satisfied?
No, they are not special. Getting together because of an unplanned pregnancy is just one of many sources of conflict. Without this, they would also be together, and there would be other problems. The fundamental thing is that they have a relationship between ideals and reality. The acceptance of the gap between them cannot be unified. Cindy retreated step by step, and finally felt that he could not compromise, but Dean had already set up camp in reality.
I'm afraid to face such a choice, my insecurities are the same as Cindy's, and in the struggle between ideal and reality, like Dean, I only retain the most expensive dignity. Eager to compromise but unwilling, disdain for too much ambition, but unable to ignore worldly views and pressures, people like me, thousands of thousands, stretch strangely in the coordinate system of life composed of ideals, reality and time, The odds of encountering another life with a similar trajectory are slim to none.
Let's go back to the movie, this movie is supposed to be about love (not marriage). The performances of the two main characters are amazing, they are so smooth and natural, they restore all the nuanced reactions of the relationship between the two, and it is certain that these two people are so in love until the end. But in the end I only saw that it told the humble life of love, how insignificant and powerless to fight.
In the last scene of the film, when they walked out of the church in blue dresses and walked into the sun, on the background of the end credits, their happy time together was illuminated again and again by the fleeting fireworks. This is not just nostalgia for the past tense. The sadness is the last faint cry of this thing called love when reality shows its hideous face.
It's better to forget the rivers and lakes than to stick to each other. This is the original face.
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