(Transfer) 2012 Chinese Online Edition

Leonel 2022-03-19 09:01:03

I saw this article before I went to watch the movie, so that I was laughing all the time, which drew my roommate's attention: watching disaster movies can laugh like this, this kid has something wrong with his house? ? ! !
Not much nonsense, put the text:


"I hope we will not disappoint the earth, and good luck." Ohama closed the folder, looked around, and finally fixed his gaze on the face of China on the opposite side.

The heads of countries walked out of the meeting room one after another. His face was solemn, and he was silent.

"God knows why the president chose China, knowing that they can't even build a decent engine." The commander-in-chief of the US Air Force complained to the Secretary of Labor.

"Yes, but they have a labor force of 1.6 billion that is submissive, a harmonious statistical bureau, a powerful industrial security department, and the ACFTU who never speaks a word to members, so this matter is none other than them. We only need to provide some. Technology and corresponding talents." The Minister of Labor said quietly.

"I don't know if what you are talking about is the country I know that constantly refreshes the records of tofu dregs engineering." The Air Force Commander muttered.

"You don't know them." The Minister of Commerce interrupted, "They will not let their children subcontract the things they will use. At most, they will sell some scalper tickets at that time. This profit can be more than the Spring Festival. . " " I

hope they will not do what the hands and feet in the boat. "commander still a little worried.

"Don't worry, I have already sent Lao Xiu and Lao Sang from the Morse Department. They can't hide anything from us. If they dare, then I will publish their overseas account information." The CIA director said with a sneer.



An extended Lincoln was driving on the highway at a speed of 70 yards.

The radio world was clamoring for the destruction of the child in the back seat seemed to hear some fear, asked: "? Dad what he said were true."

"Never mind Oh boy, this man used to be mixed with the stock market forum. "The driving man replied with a sneer.

The car stopped at the gate of Yellowstone Park. The man noticed that the park had pulled a warning belt, so he took the child over the wall and went in. Unexpectedly, pol.ice arrived quickly.

"Dad, what do they want to do?" The child looked at Pol.ice with a fierce face and asked timidly.

"It's okay, maybe check the temporary residence permit." The man said with a shrug.

"Sir, this place is sealed off. Please leave as soon as you can see no blood on your face and no injuries on your body." Pol.ice said politely.

"Can you tell me why?"

"Which so many why ? Is it because I have to tell you why I shit..."

"Who came from?" The geologist leader came to the scene and asked clearly, then let go The man left.

In the middle of the night, another harsh doomsday theory spread into the man's ears. The man couldn't help but searched for the past and expressed his opinion on 2012.

"I don’t know if you don’t believe it, you think your IQ is 5 times better than others, but I tell you, this is true, look at these people. It’s a cat. One of them mailed me a map. These grandchildren are building a spaceship with us!"

"Oh? Who can get on board?" A lunatic named Charlie.

Charlie looked at the left and right warily, then moved his face forward, whispering but saying word by word: "Let the leader go first!"



"I am the President of the United States, and I will stay with you... . " "

this sample of whole and Bai Yansong like. "a worker looked at the screen said.

"Don't look, help me stare, I'll pick up my family, I'm afraid it will be too late." Another young worker opened an inconspicuous small door and left silently. go out.



"Master, what should we do if the world is really going to be destroyed?" The little lama asked a little anxiously.

"As long as the mind is clear and the four are empty, you will know." The master smiled without answering.

"It's all this time, let's stop pretending, okay? Can't it be true?" The little Lama was annoyed.

The master took out a car key and gave it to the little lama. "Don't worry, as long as it's not a BMW, it's not afraid of other cars." The

little Lama took the key and bowed back.



"The President of Italy is also not coming. He wants to pray with the people." The staff reported as the White House secretary.

"What a joke, even Brother Chun can't save them this time." The secretary felt that these people were really unreasonable. "Wait, let's take off." The secretary ordered.

The plane taxied slowly on the runway, and finally rose from the ground and flew towards China.



"Don't let us get on the boat? Do you know how hard I am? I dodged the earthquake, flew over the fractured layer, was chased by volcanic rocks, fell into the abyss and climbed out again, and almost hit the Eiffel Tower in a plane... Now you even said that you wouldn't let me go on the boat?"

"I rely on you to have this ability and still use the boat? No nonsense, can't figure it out, right? If you can't figure it out, go to death." The door guard fulfilled his duties and left them.

The desperate people looked around blankly, but saw a broken car driving past, so they chased and shouted from behind.

"Parking, there seems to be someone behind who needs help." The old man said.

"How can you help? Stop hooking." The little lama stopped reluctantly.

Several people asked to get in the car and look for the boat together. After the little lama verified, several people got in the car.

"Why did you bring so many people?" The Lama's brother was shocked.

"You can't die without saving it," the old man said.

"It is difficult to rely on the organization and go-vern-ment." My brother disagreed.

"How come your kid is talking like a layman now! Do you treat us as a handful of people who don't know the truth?" The old man was angry.

My brother felt relieved, so he brought everyone in.



"I believe in the United States, but no one came to pick me up. Now the north and south poles are upside down, and the tsunami is right in front of my eyes. I'm going to hang up. Fortunately, I use Global Connect. I'm afraid there will be no signal on other phones. Farewell to me. Dear friend, I am in a stable mood.” After the Indian scientist finished speaking to the American geologist, he hung up the phone calmly and calmly welcomed the coming of death.

Geologists found the White House secretary and had a dispute over opening the door.

"Let me give an order to open the door? Are you speaking for the organization? Or are you speaking for the humans?" The secretary was furious.

"You are so inhumane, beware of your unsteady seat!" the geologist said indignantly.

"You put P, ​​my seat is stable!" The secretary was furious.

"If it were my father here, what would he do?" The daughter of the President of the United States also confronted the secretary.

"He will ask everyone to work through the difficulties together and call on everyone to open the hatch, but he will not really open the door of our ship. Do you think you really know your dad? Do you know the United States? Tell you, say one thing to do. One set is the soul of the White House. Think about why we are still not willing to sign the Kyoto Protocol! It's all damn meaty, what kind of grass and mud horses are installed!" The secretary threw the president's daughter out of her armor and lost her armor.

Geologists still fought hard on reason, and finally had to meet to make a decision.

The heads of countries were in deep thought. The heads of Russia gave a small window to China on MSN and said that they decided to lead Russia and agreed to open the door on behalf of the major powers.

"Dreaming, we are leading the lead, why do they always save the world and save all mankind? Why are they always the focus of the limelight?" The Standing Committee members of the dispute bureau disagreed with Russia's opinions.

"You have to know that only Russia is a country with the same strength as the United States." The Russian leader said in a word.

"Stop talking nonsense, if there is no China this time, you all have to die! You all have to die!" The spokesperson pulled off his tie, blushing and roaring with a thick neck.

After a while, the doors of the boat were all opened, and people swarmed in and boarded the boat before the tsunami.



"Damn our ship door can't be closed!" The technician on the American Ark yelled in horror.

"What's the matter?" The crew on the ship was shocked.

"There was a Chinese who left a bug on the ship and brought his related household in." The technician said while looking at the surveillance.

"Unspoken rules... We're done, I forgot this..." the secretary said desperately.

"Maybe there is a way." The geologist found that he knew the American among them. "I'll go to him, see if there is any way." The

geologist directed the writer to clear the water conservancy fault. The writer said goodbye to his family before

doing it : "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I love your son. "

I love your father."

"I love you my friend."

"I love you too, friend."

"I love you Chinese."

"You...you...you fucking repeater." ..." the Chinese guy said, dying.

The writer finally dived in, repaired the malfunction, and his son also went to help a lot. Seeing the scene of father and son working together in tacit cooperation, the North Korean chairman couldn't help but said that he is really a hero.

The door was closed, the fault was eliminated, and the son was safe, but the author's father was not seen.

The air seemed to be stagnant, and people's hearts were squeezed.

Finally the writer got out of the water.

"Ow ......" "oh ......" "Good! ......"

piercing burst of applause, cheers accompanied by applause erupted from every corner of the cabin . People hugged and kissed and burst into tears.

The ship slowly left the Himalayas.

"? You know," the South Korean president while jumping excitedly while shouting: "After our investigation and research, commander of the Ark project has Korean blood!"



People took to the deck, watching the world finally calmed down

This is a clean The ocean is as crystal clear and deep as sapphires. The sea breeze shakes everyone’s quiet heartstrings, and also lifts up the blue waves that resemble a brocade skirt. The evening sun does not hesitate to coat them with a thin layer of turmeric, and then Only then did they return to the sea. Everyone felt all this silently in the magnificent scene and the rejoicing of the rest of their lives. No one speaks, even breathing is much lighter, as if afraid of disturbing the mysterious heartbeat of nature. Ark took this forty thousand creatures who were in awe but still at a loss, drifting away.



"By the way, who brought the porn? Maybe I can still help to reproduce." The Japanese Prime Minister looked at the setting sun and broke the silence with a smile.

View more about 2012 reviews

Extended Reading

2012 quotes

  • Adrian Helmsley: Who are you bringing?

    Carl Anheuser: Nobody. Who, my ex-wife? Last thing she said to me, she never wanted to see me again. So be it.

  • Laura Wilson: How were all these people chosen?

    Carl Anheuser: The same way your art was: By experts from all over the world. We had geneticists determine the perfect gene pool we need to repopulate.

    Adrian Helmsley: These people were chosen by geneticists?

    Laura Wilson: Looks to me like their checkbooks got them onboard.

    Carl Anheuser: That's right, Dr. Wilson. Without billions of dollars from the private sector, this entire operation would've been impossible.

    Adrian Helmsley: We sold tickets. And what about all these workers? They all get passes?

    Carl Anheuser: What, life isn't fair? Is that it? You want to donate your passes to a couple Chinese workers, you be my guest.