A 15-year-old boy, a woman who can be regarded as his mother. A university honor student, an illiterate illiterate. An outstanding lawyer with the instinct of justice, and a Nazi guard who has cost countless lives.
But they did fall in love.
Love is a matter of two people. It has nothing to do with the identity, knowledge, etc. attached to the person.
Thinking back to the bits and pieces that Hanna had done, those unreasonable actions, I suddenly understood.
When Mike struggled for a long time and rejected the birthday party his friends had prepared for him, and chose to come to Hanna's dilapidated room to read a novel to her, Hanna really didn't appreciate his efforts, but pushed him away in disgust. kissed and slapped him for the first time in his life.
I understand that it was because she loved him too much, so much that she felt inferior. She felt that she was incapable of accepting such a sacrifice from him, she was afraid of such a gain, she was afraid that he would regret it in the future, and she was afraid that he would leave him because of this regret in the future. So all she can do, the way to protect herself, is to push him away desperately.
When both hanna and mike felt that they couldn't lose each other, hanna chose to disappear without any hesitation, leaving no words for mike. She caused mike endless pain.
I understand that it was because she loved him too much. The time with Mike's was like being in heaven. But when human nature and wishes are always at odds, the safer and warmer the place, the more the shame and sin hidden in people's hearts will be revealed. She is illiterate and she has indirectly murdered so many people. She couldn't confess to him, she knew she would lose him forever if she did. The pressure shattered her longing for love little by little, and in the end she could only choose to run away with all the secrets and sadness, so that at least Mike's memory could be left with a perfect self, and I think, she She was able to let go of the deepest love in her heart because she kept convincing herself that her love was a burden to the young him, and if she left, he would have a more perfect life.
When mike saw her again in the dock of a Nazi court eight years later, he was shocked, overwhelmed, and only anesthetized himself with unkempt hair in the lingering smoke of cigarettes.
She would rather accept an unfair punishment in the trial court, but insist on sticking to her secret. He didn't understand her, thought she was afraid to reveal her secret, thought it was her choice.
In fact, that is not the case. Without a relative or friend, she faced the constant condescending questioning of the judges and the aggressiveness of those despicable allies. Despair and desolation were like a huge palm choking her throat. . What else could she have, except for that one clinging secret, that last trace of pity for herself.
But I know that her helpless heart will tremble with cold, and how much she wants a warm force that can support her. Watching Mike bite his lip so hard, how I wish he would stand up bravely and say loudly to the judge - that's not the case! If she could have such comfort, let alone dignity, she could let go of the whole world and walk towards him with a smile.
Maybe men don't understand women's duplicity and the feelings of forbearance behind it. He knew the truth, and he knew whether to say it or not, it could save her or destroy her life. He was indecisive.
He couldn't resist his emotions, and finally decided to ask her. It snowed that day, and walking under the icy high wall, he remembered the tragedy of that snowy night she told in court. All the sanity suddenly came back to him, how to deal with a Nazi prisoner? How to face those bloody facts? How to face the eyes of people around you? Her and his future are too slim.
If hanna gave up on him back then because of love, but now he gave up on her because of reality. Men will only give up what they love because of their goals, not the other way around.
So he turned away.
As expected by hanna, Mike has an enviable career, a luxurious private office, a brand-new Mercedes-Benz sedan, a young and beautiful lawyer-turned-wife, and a lovely daughter.
But he had it all, but there was no way he could love them.
Numbness in the face of work, short marriage, alienation from daughter.
Until he started reading her favorite novels aloud to her again. Book after book, taped all night long and sent to prison.
She regarded them as treasures and slept in her arms, learning words from his pronunciation, and writing him simple, clumsy letters.
Tears were pouring down, and the love lost in Huali last year was found again in the predicament of their lives. With the mottled traces of the years, it is slow but heavy.
The ending of the story, as expected, but I would rather not.
20 years have passed. Someone called to inform him that Hanna was about to be released from prison, hoping that he would accept her and settle her life.
He just promised the other party very politely, without any emotion. reality again. Reading novels can satisfy all fantasies, but not reality.
He went to her to meet him, after 28 years of separation. His reason did not deceive him, the reality did take a lot of effort to bear. She had gray hair, a hunched back, and dark eyes. She held out a crumpled hand, hoping he would hold it.
He gasped, suddenly realizing that love does sometimes live in imagination and memory. But this time he didn't give up, he adjusted himself and told her a better vision for the future, she could have a job, have a nice house, and he could even prepare a lively release ceremony for her. She smiled and said nothing.
He promised to pick her up in a week. Maybe he also needs a time to be quiet, think about everything, and then accept her arrival. He did, and in his clean and fresh new home, he hung a photo of their beautiful memories with a look of happiness and contentment. He felt that everything he arranged for her would make her feel his love.
But I knew it was too late, when his hand fled from her unsightly loose hand, it was too late.
After so many years of expectation, so many years of grievances, so many years of hardships, when she could finally face the man who had become her whole world, she saw his escape. That small action made her former inferiority complex come back to her once again. Those emotions that had been accumulated in my heart for more than 20 years and were about to spew out, were coldly beaten back to the bottom of my heart at this moment. When he tried to talk to her about the trial of the year and the future with her, she just answered him with a mocking smile, because the pillars of her world had collapsed at that moment, she didn't want these, she just wanted Asking for his care and understanding and he doesn't give it to her is like telling her - I don't love you!
In the end, before what he thought was her happiness, she took her own life standing on top of her beloved book.
Later, when I saw a short excerpt of the original text, in their final conversation, hanna said: "I always have a feeling that no one understands me, no one knows who I am, and what I have done."
Such disappointment , maybe Mike can't understand it all his life.
So he didn't know, if he could walk over and hug her deeply, just like when she first met him when he was in pain, and gently told her: It's all right.
Only in this way can heal the scars in her heart.
Their fate will be different from now on.
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