Ass theory

Paris 2022-03-01 08:01:32

"If you have a complaint, all you need to do is write it down on a note, put it in an envelope, and shove it up your asshole.
If you feel you've been treated unfairly, write it down in detail on the note, fold it carefully Okay, shove your ass out and put it in your asshole.
If you have any advice on how to manage the prison, please write to me, but remember to write "asshole" in the return address column, So that my assistant can help you open your ass and put the letter in your asshole."
Although he made only two appearances, the warden's debut speech was impressive.

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Extended Reading

Let's Go to Prison quotes

  • John Lyshitski: Our justice system sucks. You know, there are over two million Americans behind bars. That's a little larger than the population of Houston. Every year, there are enough children born in prison to fill 250 Little League teams and enough people are raped in prison to fill a stadium more than three times. Can you picture that? Three stadiums full of people raping each other? I know I can.

  • John Lyshitski: It costs $54 a day to keep a person in prison, which comes out to $75 million a day nationally. That's $28 billion a year. When you think about it, wouldn't it be cheaper just to let us keep your goddamn car stereos?