Benicio said that one rainy day, the whole city was empty, and it was not until I saw the balloon hidden in the box that I realized that I had heroin in one hand and money for the next drug purchase in the other, and I fell into complete peace.
In the 89 days after he got rid of drugs, he had the same dream every day, not a spring dream, not an American dream, but still the heroin that haunted him for a long time.
There was no pain when he told it, as if the nightmare would accompany him for a long time in the future and had already become a part of his life. The pleasure that drugs brought him earlier must have been irreparable to all the stimulation, as he had described before, after being kissed by God, but at least he is now starting a more peaceful and sober life, and Stop chasing.
This makes me feel the power of reality. Reality breeds sudden changes and possibilities. You never know why you will come to another state, and then repeat to the original state again, sometimes complete, sometimes cruel.
These cruelties may indicate that the heroine's neighbor couple will always be on and off, Benicio may be entangled in drug addiction and detoxification throughout his life, and the pain of bereavement will continue to recur like a periodic disease.
But we can rely on a few simple beliefs to regulate our trajectory, perhaps with a compromising element, but more responsible than self-destruction.
For me, the past is a beautiful movie. A beautiful movie does not have any strong ambitions, it does not carry a century-old answer that is astonishing, and it does not have a strong experimental color that makes people fall into philosophical logic. in the maze. Life is too trivial and complicated for human beings. When we can't get rid of ourselves, a beautiful movie is the answer that life gives us, so we suddenly realize that everything is so simple.
The answer to the past is: "accept the good", it recurs until the end. It is the force that continues to be alive and makes one tend to calm.
When asked Benicio and Kelly if you feel better now that you've gotten off the drug, they instead say, everything is different now.
In the eyes of individuals, there is no good life or bad life, only different lives, but accepting good things is a sacrifice and compromise made in order to move forward in life.
This reminds me of what Calvino once wrote: the hell of the living will not arise; if there is, it is already here, the one we live in every day, and the one we have assembled together.
There are two ways to avoid suffering, and for many, the first is easy: accept hell, become a part of it, until you don't feel it's there.
The second is risky and requires constant vigilance and learning - to seek out non-hell people and things in hell, to learn to identify them, to keep them alive, to give them space.
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