The first time I watched it intermittently on the subway and at home with my mobile phone when I was in high school. After watching it, I like it very much. The OP keeps looping on the mobile phone, and I think it is the best animation. It also started my pursuit of the so-called "human alienation" genre. From the lookalike Tokyo ghouls, giants, fiends to western aliens, zombies and more.
These stories are self-consistent and self-contained, emphasizing the value of human beings themselves, some beautiful qualities unique to human beings, in an alienating way. They satisfy my anxiety only briefly, zooming from individual trivial life to vertical birth and horizontal death. It sounds a little pitiful, but I really haven't found the meaning of life.
Infancy is manifested in the horror of the abstract unknown. Including my grandfather coaxing me, "Walking at night will end up being carried away by a tiger-like monster." Open dark corridors and so on. As a toddler, I could think of everything as a monster, and I could think of myself as a hero. I complete this closed-loop narrative by myself.
There is no threat to something concrete. Catching bugs, touching sockets, drifting in rivers with worn-out bamboo rafts, and rolling down hills for fun. These actions, which I absolutely have a hard time doing now, were enjoyable at the time. I wonder if it is because children have their own imaginary world and have not been disciplined by reality that they can be self-consistent. On the side, in this small world, all things and things exist as complete short stories, and there is no long-term pursuit of some things by adults. Such as success, money, and studies. Children's lives are divided into semesters, vacations, weekends, and specific to each exam, each trip, and even animation time. All the rules are natural. As a child, I only need to experience pleasure or pain again and again under this shroud. "I" watched the ants move. "I" finished watching today's animation, "I" waited until the holiday to return to my grandma's house. The most long-term and long-term is to prepare for a certain exam half a month in advance for the reward of parents. Fear of the unknown, young children use their bodies to test death. This is no longer contradictory when we think about it with the above logic. The unknown is something that goes beyond the rules and beyond the child's own cognition. The result of not being able to control and complete it is the fear that comes out naturally. But the temptation to death is different. This is the discipline for children to lose reality. As a real individual before a social person, they are doing what a living creature would do by itself—pleasing itself with the body itself. If it hurts, then don't do it. Experience is also a path of meaning, and it is controllable.
The next step is to grow rapidly. This is a process that turns children upside down. No longer afraid of the unknown, but concrete reality. When I was a junior high school student, I stayed after school to clean up, and I told my classmates about the headaches I thought of, "What is outside the universe." "If the universe disappears, then what will exist in this 'world'. No, what will exist?" ?" Unfortunately, they didn't care what I said. At that time, for the first time, I felt a different powerlessness and loneliness.
High school is a prison landscape. Accommodation, the college entrance examination and the things behind them disciplined me thoroughly. What makes me feel helpless is no longer the ghost and the universe, but the college entrance examination, ideals, politics, and figurative things. I am experiencing them, I am discussing them. When I was a child, the rules that I thought were natural had long since collapsed, and I questioned everything, my parents, my teachers, and something that couldn't be written here. I even questioned the video games I was addicted to before. There was a crack in the mentality of playing. It was not pleasure, but a sober escape. The short narratives of my childhood have long since disappeared, and I have fallen into the long narrative of long narratives. High school is just the beginning.
University was a rare utopia in China at that time. I met many like-minded friends and learned a lot of knowledge to update myself. Use Socrates, Hegel, Camus, etc. to construct a system of ideas to comfort yourself. I was sheltered by a romantic and ideal atmosphere, and the most active and enthusiastic time so far was also during that time. This enthusiasm will fade sharply as graduation approaches, and by senior year it will become a complete apocalyptic carnival. That's exactly what happened.
After graduation, the last superficial rule of life ends, and it turns into invisible. My ideals and reality shattered, and when I woke up, I was alone in a foreign room. During the trough of the past few months, I must torture myself with the value of reality and the value of adults. The end result is depression and anxiety. After getting through it, it became the current state. numbness? The good point is that you are learning and being self-consistent with yourself. The set of things that comforted myself in college. "Life has no meaning. You need to do something to create short-term meaning, just like a child. If you can make it long, it will be even better. You can connect with secular values and make yourself feel at ease." I still have this set of things. Use, but will not force yourself. You can accept bad habits such as not learning, staying up late, procrastinating, etc. No matter how big the deadline is, you can't get nervous. future success? I know, I will work hard, but I won't be angry with myself anymore. It seems that I have lost the ability to be anxious, and I can't be motivated when there is a big exam at the end of the year. I don't know if this is right or not, but this is the third stage I'm exploring right now, which is just right after children and students.
Now I live alone in an unfamiliar city, where I have no friends, and I don't want to do pointless socializing. I like to sleep until I wake up naturally, eat what I want, sit on the school lawn and watch the crows next to me, and skateboard in the parking lot. Try to complete small things in a relaxed state, such as re-watching the parasitic beast lazily on the sofa just now.
Originally, after watching it, I wanted to record some of the content and methods discussed in this drama itself. Unconsciously, it brings out something like self-reflection (laughs), just like the self-exploration of the whole drama of Shinichi and Xiaoyou. Seven years later, Shinichi is still the same high school student, but I am an adult who needs to shave every day. However, the feeling of the work to me seems to be the same as that of high school? Sitting on the subway with headphones in the afternoon and watching the parasitic beasts is already part of the flash in my memory.
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