Happily-ever-afters can't mitigate toxic masculinity

Isom 2022-05-11 22:26:34

There might be a handful of grammatical mistakes but it's too late for me to care...

The Farewell

I genuinely loved watching this film; the experience of which, without any exaggeration, is unprecedented for me in quite some time. It is not the typical Film Noir that is mostly centred around lies, traps and intricate storylines - I'd go so far as to say that this one isn't a "film noir" at all, because it's about love and defeat that only "happen to" entangle with a straightforward murder case. The thing is, regardless of the murder case, I knew that this love story is doomed to fail if Dix keeps being unaware of the damage that he causes. Either he'd change and learn to stop being violent altogether (which is way too ideal in real life but apparently it's good enough for a 90 mins film of the 50s judging by the ones I've watched - how immensely hilarious and entertaining);or he keeps acting in his brutal ways until Laurel's had enough and leave.

I'm almost glad that the writer didn't go with the "she changes him for the better" plot. A proper demonstration of how violent men can also be "charming and tender" sometimes when they are "in a good mood" ( and vice versa) is extremely lacking in the 50s films, therefore, the way that the creators chose to approach this issue is delightfully refreshing. Moreover, the tolerating attitude that all the characters adopted towards Dix's relentless behaviour (just because he's a creator of some sort!!! and not even a good one) was very distressing to witness: Brub reinforces that Dix "is a good guy" while Sylvia thinks a creator has the excuse of being "temperamental"; Lochner suspect Dix as he should, but it's only associated with the murder case (in other words:he only cares about if he's the murderer or not; even he knows how much of a brute Dix is, the well-being of Laurel after her alleged marriage is out of the question). And Mel Lippman straight up told Laurel that Dix is ​​a The talented "dynamite" that Laurel should accept and tolerate ("I'd willingly do it again for another 20 years" while later on quit being Dix's agent, lol) Their attempts at mitigating the seriousness of Dix's ruthless behaviour really made Laurel helpless in the situation - there is no one for her.d willingly do it again for another 20 years" while later on quit being Dix's agent, lol) Their attempts at mitigating the seriousness of Dix's ruthless behaviour really made Laurel helpless in the situation - there is no one for her.d willingly do it again for another 20 years" while later on quit being Dix's agent, lol) Their attempts at mitigating the seriousness of Dix's ruthless behaviour really made Laurel helpless in the situation - there is no one for her.

Of course, this film isn't about "anti-domestic violence" or warning young ladies not to rush into love (and I'm sure the creators didn't have "an abuser" in mind when they create Dix's character) but the ending partially shattered the belief (that was held by all the characters) that Dix's relentless behaviour is OKAY. I am particularly fond of the near-ending climax where Dix NEARLY KILLED Laurel (The violent tendencies of Christian Grey in 50 Shades is NOTHING comparing to THIS) - Dix's not someone who can be helped or saved by anyone else, and he's going to need another good few years to change for the better to be love-deserving. I did feel a bit sorry for Dix in the end, but he should probably quit his whining about how "I died when she left me"(what a beautiful foreshadowing line*applauses* ) because he pushed her away (by nearly strangled her, lol). Being charming and creative won't cut it when he's such a quick-to-anger brute. I'm genuinely glad that at least Laurel's no longer intimidated and got out of it in the end.

On a side note: the guy, though 10x times more charming, reminded me so much of my first ex. Sometimes, this is what the so-called "artistic temperament" is really like when it's stripped off of the Hollywood happily-ever- after cliché. People that aren't working their ways to change their violent tendencies are not deserving of love (esp. by someone so tender and kind as Laurel); and being emotional and creator-like aren't adequate excuses for hurting people.

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Extended Reading

In a Lonely Place quotes

  • Dixon Steele: You annoy me!

    Laurel Gray: If I do, it isn't intentional.

  • Capt. Lochner: I didn't expect you to give me more information... but certain facts contradict your original statement.

    Laurel Gray: [flatly] I wish you'd say what you mean.

    Capt. Lochner: Yes, let's do that. On the night of the Atkinson murder, you looked at Dixon Steele and said you didn't know him.

    Laurel Gray: I didn't.

    Capt. Lochner: Since then, you and he have been inseparable.

    Laurel Gray: He's writing a script. I'm doing the typing.

    Capt. Lochner: Do you receive a salary for this?

    Laurel Gray: No. I'm doing it for love.

    Capt. Lochner: [surprised] Are you in love with Mr. Steele?

    Laurel Gray: For the record, I am in love with Mr. Steele.

    Capt. Lochner: Are you going to be married?

    Laurel Gray: [pause] If we do, I'll send you an invitation - after all, it was you who first introduced us to each other.