The few movies I've watched recently are good for persuading me to quit marriage, because the intimacy of marriage is really terrifying.
In "Marriage Story", the man wants excitement, love, and the woman wants to develop a career and chase her dreams. But in this marriage the male dominated, so he rejected the woman's request and made her his accessory.
In fact, both parties have made sacrifices, but this is an inevitable problem in a marriage relationship or even any intimate relationship. Since you are not ready to give up part of yourself, it is better not to get married in the first place. It's a bit ironic that I'm still using marriage as a shield when my relationship is breaking down and that it's taking me out of my relationship.
So the problem with C and N is still the unequal relationship. Of course the man sacrifices the woman's dream, but he can cheat to make up for the missed youth. Just imagine that if the man listened, supported, and balanced the marriage, there might not be so many communication barriers. Of course, if the woman tries with great success, and the limelight overwhelms the male protagonist, then it will return to the starting point. So the essence of marriage lies in balance, and grasping that degree is the most important. Don't make marriage a game of thrones, handle borders as carefully as a diplomat.
After watching this movie, I remembered the "Gone Lover", a guide to severely persuaded marriage. This work is also dominated by men, who move at will, cheat at will, vent their sexual desires at will, and finally lead to the woman's anger and revenge. In the end, the woman prevailed, relying on public opinion to maintain this turbulent marriage.
Almost all works in the genre of marriage refer to the polishing of human personality by marriage. In "Gone Lover", men and women love what each other looks like when they fall in love, but after the real marriage, everyone removes the disguise and discovers that things are right and wrong, and love has left.
From this, I think of "Quartet", which also has similarities with "Gone Lover". Jia Senjun said, "Marriage is hell, my wife is a piranha, and the marriage application is a cursed death note." Because he was too idealistic, he insisted on music ideals but couldn't make much money, so the woman conveniently filed for divorce and took away the children. The rift between Maki-chan and her ex-husband is also because the man wants the woman to stick to her dream of violin, while the woman just wants to be a good wife and mother.
At first glance, the marriage of a violinist and a violinist was completely opposite, but both ended in failure. Thinking about it, what Chamazi likes is the feeling that Jiasen is not doing a proper job, but because his dream can not become the nourishment of marriage, so it ends; Mr. Kuan also likes the way Maki plays the violin, and imagines that after marriage, it can be like falling in love, but After getting married, it was like marrying a completely different person.
But Chamazi didn't want to see Jiasen give up himself for the sake of reality, and Mr. Juan also divorced peacefully. So we see that in order to be fully ourselves, it seems that we can only sacrifice marriage. But sacrificing marriage does not mean sacrificing love, they love the individual rather than the other half of the marriage. After the separation will continue to love, even if there is no meaning at all. The absurdity of marriage is nothing but that.
In "Gone Lover", Amy actually decided to frame her husband and put her in prison; while in "Quartet", Cha Ma Zi was willing to let go of her husband's dream and fought against reality by herself, so women in marriage may be piranhas, But the tea horse after letting go is Dragon Ball.
Sanmao and Hexi said that after marriage, "I am still a complete piece". Although both parties retain themselves to the greatest extent, they also sacrifice many external conditions, such as wealth, such as parents and families. There are too few partners who are really willing to enjoy spiritual love in the Sahara desert, and more are just the real life firewood, rice, oil and salt. We are not in the Sahara, and all of them are ordinary people. If you want to run a good marriage, both parties must silently polish themselves in the trickle of time so that they can engage in each other's gears.
Yesterday, I was discussing "Kim Zhiying Born in 1982" with a friend. It depicts how a common female image in today's society slowly changes from a person to a machine. In real life, many women give up their careers for marriage and children, which is actually the starting point for unhappy marriages in the future. Because there is no career to take care of children, it can be said that I have almost completely lost myself, and the balance of marriage has been completely out of balance. But if you don't give up your career, the family will be delayed again, and you can only rely on the balance and communication between the two sides to keep the family's boat from tipping over. It must be "both parties", not just one party. Marriage is a matter of two people.
Marriage must be rough because there will be sacrifices. But since they choose to jump into this pit, the two people who make this choice must have the courage to assume the responsibility that comes with their intimate relationship. In the oath, "together with adversity" is not a good thing to say.
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