Uneasy

December has not yet come, but the Christmas atmosphere has come very early. Several large department stores in Ginza put up Christmas trees early, with neon lights flashing golden, and hymns happily played in the elevators. I went to a nearby movie theater to watch a film about the 1956 Hungarian uprising, and then made an appointment to have dinner with friends. It's a love tragedy in the torrent of the great era, "there is no egg under the nest", but I kept shaking and sweating. From the appearance of Stalin's head; the athlete who fought for his life in the arena; the tank and armored vehicle drove back to Budapest; when I saw the citizens who threw tanks with Molotov cocktails were looted and shot to death, I couldn't help it. Grief and despair. There were so few people in the movie theater that I heard someone say, "Is this the real thing?" The film is done very carefully, and some scenes are derived from real historical materials. There are not many media records about the democratic revolution in Hungary and Eastern Europe. For this incident, the Stalin regime model that the Soviet Union carried out in Eastern European countries after the Cold War, as well as the Chinese encouragement of the Soviet Union to send troops to Hungary outside the film, and "Liberalization, Rectification, Anti-Rightist" that is more closely related to us; the movement that is still characterized as a counter-revolutionary coup in the late 1980s; I can't help but bring in my own values ​​and ideas throughout the film, even anti-revolutionary. Repeatedly reciting the same Hungarian poet Petofi: "Life is precious, love is more expensive, and if it is freedom, both can be thrown away."... We are so afraid of losing our freedom.

After I left the cinema, the streets and cities were filled with a greasy smell of peace. I was immersed in the heaviness of the movie, and then I was angry at the filth of this world where the rules became more and more clear. I feel that I have resentment. I hate that beauty is slowly sinking into the flow of materialistic desires; I hate that no one talks about democracy and only talk about stocks; I hate that no one sings and sings poetry and singing generously; I feel that the blood in my body is cold every day He is slowly turning into a boring puppet. I usually pretend to be cheery or just hang around indifferently, but there are times when the seeds of unrest in my body grow violently; I am so disgusted and so eager to live meaningfully. But where is the path to peace and tranquility (you see, I am no longer looking for the path to happiness)? Before eating, I bought a sheepskin jacket in the department store, and put a pinch of salt on the wound that was fed up with materialistic desires, and then continued to live in a fake high state, eating and watching dramas, and everything went back to normal.

Pukras said in his blog: "The tiles in my house are about to fall off. I treat it negatively. But I am angry with Beijing's public transportation system every day. Why should we develop taxis to solve urban traffic during the Asian Games?" After reading it, I felt Really emotional. I am often angry on the Internet that Chinese women have a high status, and people with mental illness and depression are weak, Mao Zedong wise and great discussion; but the relationship with the most important friend is neglected. Take the time to pay attention to the special cooking oil event in Chongqing supermarket, but you are too lazy to go out and buy a humidifier. However, I am still suffering, does it mean that my blood has not completely cooled down, does it mean that my heart is still sincere, and that I am still an uncompromising person. Recently stimulated by the 3377 post, I began to think about the moral bottom line. I am also pleased that many people in this world stand up to speak for L; many people stand up for Zhu Ling; many people are calling for low-key student assistance; All kinds of things are angry, and struggle, and sadness comes from it, and rebuke Fang Qiu, and run to tell; let me see the faint but firm light of hope; see the unstoppable sympathy for suffering in the world; Makes me feel like I'm not alone even in such a cold winter. Yes, not alone.

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