Well, it is estimated that every child likes it, and I am no exception. So when I was little, I tried to be "sensible", first in front of my mother, then in front of the whole family, then in front of my neighbors, and finally in front of everyone. When I hear more and more people praise me as "sensible", my heart is satisfied, because I think "sensible me" is good and liked by others, but more often, my heart is satisfied. I was wronged and angry, especially when my parents praised my sister in front of me, and my sister was more sensible and well-behaved at this time, I felt that I was the one who was left out and not liked. However, I can’t express or dare not express this anger with my parents, because it will attract my parents’ disgust or greater punishment, and I also dare not express it to other family members or the neighbors around me, because I am afraid that they will change their attitude towards me when they know about it. After all, being "sensible" is my only asset to make others like me. Besides, I feel like I'm useless: I'm ugly, I'm slow, I don't like to talk, my family is not rich, I don't have good-looking clothes, etc. Only when I was alone with my sister did I secretly vent my anger on my sister who was five years younger than me. Sometimes my sister would sue and my mother would find out. Either she would beat me, or she would stare at me and threaten me. , or I'm "bad". I think my mother said that I am "bad" is the biggest punishment for me, it is better to beat me or scold me, because then all I have is anger, and "bad" is the biggest denial of me, I think I am No one wants it soon, and my mother may soon abandon me. Based on such feelings and experiences, I have been playing a "sensible" child. Being "sensible" has won me praise and praise from many people, but it has also brought me a lot of grievances and anger, which makes me very uncomfortable, but I have never known where my grievances and anger came from and how to deal with them. Suppressing them also makes me feel very tired in interpersonal relationships, so I prefer to escape into the fantasy world and not face them, which is why I am introverted and like to be alone. After getting married and having children, I have always tried my best to maintain a "sensible" image. It made me ignore my own feelings, pay no attention to my own needs, dare not ask others, dare not express my opinions, and everything is based on the interests of others. I was greatly praised by my husband's family, but at the same time, I also felt more and more wronged and angry. The "sensible me" has always asked myself to be a good daughter-in-law and a good wife┈┈ The other one, I was wronged and angry. From time to time, I would jump out and make trouble. Because I couldn’t accept myself like this, she always rushed out in an angry image and destroyed the relationships around me. The biggest victim was actually me. My daughter, she became my childhood self. The "sensible me" and the "angry me" appear alternately. The overall me is painful, struggling, twisted and divided. At that time, I didn’t have access to psychology, I couldn’t understand myself at the time, and I always denied myself, thinking that I was not good enough. This denial sometimes exacerbated my rejection of the “angry me”, making me even more painful and divided. Later, I came into contact with psychology. Under the guidance of psychology, I came into contact with the theory of good mothers and bad mothers, understood the concept of integration, and also contacted many people who were struggling with similar pain as me, which made me understand division. It comes from not accepting and deeply repressing oneself. In the workshop, I have been guided, accepted and accompanied by many teachers and peers. I strive to understand and accept myself, and gradually integrate myself, so that I can live more and more consistent, more real, and more comfortable. It also made me deeply understand that sentence: I am grateful for all the encounters, grateful for everything that happened, so that I have everything I have now. So I am very disgusted now that adults use "sensible" to praise children and ask children, "sensible" is the result of children sacrificing their own needs and feelings to meet the needs of adults, which carries too much grievances and anger from children. I think being "sensible" is the greatest exploitation of children by adults. Now, are you still asking your children to be sensible? In exchange for meeting the needs of adults by meeting their own needs and feelings, there is too much grievance and anger in children behind this. I think "sensible" is the biggest exploitation of children by adults. Now, are you still asking your children to be sensible? In exchange for meeting the needs of adults by meeting their own needs and feelings, there is too much grievance and anger in children behind this. I think "sensible" is the biggest exploitation of children by adults. Now, are you still asking your children to be sensible?
View more about Secret Window reviews
