my compass

Jaylin 2022-02-07 14:53:07

The last paragraph of the novel "The White Oleander":
'I smell the burnt smell of that midnight fire again, and
I want to feel the heat of the Santa Ana wind.
It's a secret longing,
like a song I can't stop humming,
or like someone dear to me that I'll never have.
No matter where I go,
my compass always points west, and
I always know what time it is in California. '

Watching this movie, I can feel the pain of struggle and growth from beginning to end.
We come into this world, whether poor or glorious, to take on an unpredictable and uncontrollable life. Each step piece together our own body and life. We escape from piles of hurt, and pass through slices of happiness. Those experiences don't burn our skin, but they shape our character. Let us recognize the ultimate loneliness of the individual from this world and the need to put on the armor, open the arms, and be sensitive to find the good in life.
As a woman, when you realize that there is really no one or something in the world that you can depend on forever except your parents, when you gradually wake up in the illusory beauty, you will also reluctantly find that you can only make your own hands become Only by being firm and strong can you adapt to the world without being hurt.
Ingrid is transformed into a poisonous flower after all kinds of uncertainty and injury. No one is born a weapon. No attack and no need for weapons and shields. All damage stems from the original injury. All bad things happen for a reason.
As a woman, a woman who is considered to be weak can only choose to become stronger when tears and grief are cast aside, and after weakness cannot be exchanged for happiness. Become a weapon or a shield, hard, stubborn and ruthless.
What other way, the world originally endowed us with tenderness and sweetness, and set this to be our strength. Later, the world changed, the world no longer needed Cinderella, Cinderella could only become another way.
Fortunately for most of us, loneliness is not complete. Because we all have the compass of life, and we can all find the warmth and trust that will always exist in our hearts. Such as parents, such as beliefs, such as dreams.

Wherever I go,
my compass always points west

View more about White Oleander reviews

Extended Reading

White Oleander quotes

  • Astrid: How long were you gone?

    Ingrid: About a year, give or take a few months.

    Astrid: My God.

    Ingrid: You're not asking the right question. Don't ask me why I left. Ask me why I came back.

    Astrid: You should have been sterilized.

    Ingrid: I could have left you there, but I didn't. Don't you understand? For once, I did the right thing! When I came back, you knew me. You were sitting by the door, and you looked up, and you reached for me. It was as if you had been waiting for me all along.

    Astrid: I was always waiting for you, mother. That's the constant in my life. Waiting for you. Will you come back? Will you forget that you tied me in front of a store or left me on a bus?

    Ingrid: Are you still waiting?

    Astrid: No. I stopped when Claire showed me what it felt like to be loved. What did you think, that I would amuse you? That's what babies are like, mother. What'd you think? We'd exchange thoughts on Joseph Brodsky?

    Ingrid: I thought Klaus and I would live happily ever after. That's what I thought, Adam and Eve in a vine-covered shack. I must have been out of my mind.

    Astrid: You were in love with him.

    Ingrid: YES, I was in love with him. ALRIGHT? I was in love with him, and baby makes three, and all that crap!

    Astrid: Then why did you leave him? Why did you leave him?

    Ingrid: I didn't leave him! He left me. You wanna know about your father? He left us when you were six months old for another woman, and I never saw him again until he showed up looking for you when you were eight years old.

    Astrid: He came to see me?

    Ingrid: Yes, he came to see you but it was a little late, wasn't it? Why should I let him see you after what he did to me?

    Astrid: Because it wasn't about you! It was about me, and I wanted to see him! My whole life, I've wanted to see him. That decision was MINE, not yours. Everything's always been about you, never about me. I knew you were gonna kill Barry, but you didn't even care. You didn't give a damn about what that would do to me. I'll say whatever Susan wants me to say, but I gotta get outta here.

    Ingrid: No! No, no, no. You don't just walk away from me. I made you, I'm in your blood. You don't go anywhere until I let you go!

    Astrid: Then let me go. You look at me and you don't like what you see, but this is the price, mother. The price of belonging to you.

    Ingrid: If I could, I'd take it all back. I would.

    Astrid: Then tell me you don't want me to testify. Tell me you don't want me like this. Tell me you would sacrifice the rest of your life to have me back the way I was.

  • [last lines]

    Astrid: No matter how much she damaged me... no matter how flawed she is... I know my mother loves me.