Go past the blue door behind you

Sam 2022-02-07 14:54:24

The clean, handsome, sunny boy was riding his bicycle, waiting for the traffic light. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the girl who was peeking at him. There was a smug and smug smile on his face, and two deep dimples were carved on his cheeks. The mottled tree shadows under the sun, the blue sky, the turquoise sea, the pure beach, a story of youth unfolds quietly on the streets of Taipei in the hot summer.

Lin Yuezhen and Meng Kerou, who skipped class, chatted secretly under the shade of a tree, closing their eyes and fantasizing about their future life. Lin Yuezhen said vividly, but Meng Kerou just repeated: "Yuezhen, I can't see anything... I can't see anything."

Lin Yuezhen took out Zhang Shihao's basketballs, sneakers, ball pens, and Zhou notebooks that she had secretly collected to Meng Kerou Look, sigh softly: "I like him for so long, but I can only secretly take pictures of him and collect his trash." If you like someone, you will unconsciously collect everything about him, that obscurity and affection.

Lin Yuezhen dragged Meng Kerou to the swimming pool and secretly watched Zhang Shihao swimming, "What are you looking at, I can't see anything!" "I can hear him swimming!" If you like someone, even if you can only hear his voice, All satisfied.

Meng Kerou helped Lin Yuezhen to confess, helped her deliver letters, took the blame for her, and helped her lead the red line. That 17-year-old summer, maybe it was friendship, maybe it was love, they were all confused, endured, and strong.

Zhang Shihao said proudly and arrogantly, "Actually, there is no such thing as Lin Yuezhen. You want to know me, don't you?" Meng Kerou didn't argue, just stepped on the bicycle and disappeared into the night.

"My name is Zhang Shihao, Scorpio, O-type, swimming team, guitar club!" What a lovely boy, in the moonlight, he made a clumsy self-introduction to Meng Kerou's receding back.

"What are you doing?" "I'm from the swimming team's guitar club. I look pretty good. What's wrong with me?" "What are you doing?" "Just chasing you" "I'm very troublesome"" I'm in trouble too." Youth, can be so troublesome and simple, direct and enthusiastic.

Zhang Shihao and Meng Kerou listened to the song and rode the waves, sitting side by side on the reef, talking nonchalantly, he raised his hand shyly and put it lightly on hers, but after three seconds, he took it away again, his expression unnatural, the air in the air It's all embarrassing. Youth is so blunt, green and simple.

Zhang Shihao went to Meng Kerou's dumpling shop for supper every night. Before leaving, he would always shout at the window, "I'm full, I'm going home!" No matter if she was there or not.

Zhang Shihao kept asking, "Why do you want me to kiss you?" "Why do you want me to kiss you?"... After sharing their secrets with each other, the 17-year-old boy and girl began to think philosophically. "If you are 17 years old, all you think about is whether you can go to college, you are no longer a virgin, and if you can pee straight, what a happy child you would be." Life is far from simple.

After disturbing the chairs in the gym, the two people who had just ended the war said wearily, "What kind of adults have we left behind?" What kind of adults have we become?

That gentle first kiss, gently and lightly, was printed on the lips and stayed in the basketball hall, but it did not retain the shadow of Meng Kerou. Zhang Shihao asked again and again: "Does this count as a breakup?"

Meng Kerou wrote on the beach again and again: "I'm a girl, I love boys." Until she received a call from Zhang Shihao under the fireworks, she finally The only tear shed.

Zhang Shihao kept repeating the same sentence and asking the same question, Meng Kerou kept silent and kept running away.

Waiting inside the zebra crossing, Zhang Shihao said softly, "Actually, what I wanted to say the other day was that in a year or three years later, if you start to like boys, you must be the first to tell me!" The bicycle, the first one to rush out, the wind blows his floral shirt and disappears into the traffic, the sound of the piano resounds like water, filling the streets of Taipei in summer, just like his warm smile.

Meng Kerou looked at his back: "Xiao Shi, watching your floral shirt float away, I'm thinking about what we will be like in one year, three years, five years? Because of your kindness, cheerfulness and ease , you should be more handsome, so I seem to see you standing in front of the blue gate, the sun at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, you still have a few pimples on your face, you smile, I run to you and ask how are you? Okay, you nod your head. Three years, five years later, or even further, is it the PE teacher, or my mother? Although I can't see myself when I close my eyes, I can see you."



I suddenly remembered that in the summer of 19 years old, I also had short and refreshing hair, and the plain face was facing the sky. In the sun at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I waited quietly downstairs in the dormitory, smiling silly at him. I jumped on the bike and sat in the back seat, the wind was blowing all the time, I sang loudly without any scruples, my feet swayed in the air, the hearty laughter cut through the sky, and the street lights reflected the two figures.

I thought I forgot, my heart was blushing like that, my heart was overloaded, I thought I forgot, I fell in love with him and I couldn't help smiling when I remembered him. However, opening the blue door is like opening a thick diary. The details of the deep memories of those years jumped out of the text one by one, and smashed head-on with impunity.

Yes, forget the face, but can't forget the breath, forget love, but can't forget the warmth, forget yourself, but can't forget him, forget everything that should be forgotten, remember everything that should be remembered.

Hair is long and short, short and long, whether you like it or not, time has passed through the skin, through the heart, and tangled, just like this cruelly dragging people, pulling out the years of youth in a daze. I can't tell which summer we grew up all of a sudden, just so inadvertently, we grew up. Stories about youth, the purest feelings, have long been stranded in that pure summer, dissipated in the sunshine, blue sky, white clouds, green trees, green trees and blue sea. What remains is a long string of memories, which constantly warms the cold me.

Maybe everyone's youth has such a story flowing in their hearts, maybe this movie is comforting the perfect youth that has been lost by those who grew up. I have been green, pure, passionate, warm, moved, happy, laughed, cried, deeply loved, and I have crossed the blue door behind me, and I can never go back.


"I'm a girl, I love boys" - Meng

Kerou, "Zhang Shihao is here for a visit" -

bad letters scattered on the white pillars next to Zhang Shihao's school basketball hall.

Will we still be so direct? Will you still be so brave? Will it still be so hot? Will it be so simple?

Blue Gate Crossing, find youth, miss youth, forget youth, comfort youth, bid farewell to youth.




June 2, 2007 night

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